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Organised by
RogerDodger
Word limit
400–750
The Mare Who Has Everything
This will be my masterpiece! I allowed myself a soft chuckle in my hiding place under the cushion of Celestia’s throne.
It had taken a full year of planning, rehearsals, and legally-questionable diversions, but the surprise party to end all surprise parties was finally ready to be sprung on the princess.
It was commonly believed in party-planning circles that Celestia’s true birthday was long lost to time, and I had never questioned it.
Then Twilight had casually asked me what I thought she should send the princess for a birthday present.
I left Twilight standing in the marketplace and immediately interrupted the Day Court in Canterlot to ask Celestia in person.
She had blinked. “May eleventh,” she answered simply.
My life immediately went on hold. I had years and years and years of missed birthdays to make up for! Nothing would come in the way of this party. Not family reunions, not Tirek’s escape, not even the Flim Flam brothers’ ascension to alicornhood.
I surreptitiously visited the entire population of Canterlot, recruited the best unicorns Celestia’s School had to offer, and spent weeks of sleepless nights planning everything out. Magical signatures and physical presences had to be masked, the Princess’s schedule had to be planned out down to the minute, and of course, the whole thing had to be done without her knowledge.
Only a surprise party would do. Not only was it traditional for the first party I threw for a pony to be a surprise, but this one had to be special. Celestia attended dozens of comparably-sized events throughout the year, so one more city-wide celebration just wouldn’t do. No, this one needed to stand out. And nothing did that to a party like being a complete surprise.
Coordinating the secrecy of thousands of ponies over months of preparation was easily the third-hardest thing I had ever done, but I had done it. The call from Baltimare had come in right on schedule, confirming that the princess was on her way. By now she should be passing over the streets of Canterlot, citizens going about their normal business below. Soon she would land on her balcony.
I suppressed a squeal of excitement. Always had to be ready, anything could go wrong at any point. I had to be quiet.
My left ear twitched as I heard a sneeze from a curtain hanging over one of the stained-glass windows on the north wall. I didn’t move a muscle, but mentally I ranted and raved at Orange Breeze. If that wretched mare’s hay fever was the thing that blew this whole operation, I might just be angry enough to– to… well no, I would never be angry enough to forget her anniversary party next month. Maybe enough to lace her cake with delayed-release capsaicin, though.
Luckily for the plan and her taste buds, however, the throne room remained quiet and empty. In reality it contained forty-five party cannons and ninety-three party ponies waiting for my signal, each of which I had hidden personally. The rest of Canterlot was just now sneaking en masse into the castle, heading quickly and quietly to their assigned hiding spots. With the powerful, subtle concealment charms in place over everything, Celestia would walk through empty halls into a completely empty throne room when she expected a full court, none the wiser.
The success of my plan depended on how Celestia would react to that. She knew I knew today was her birthday, and I wouldn’t bet that that mare had forgotten in the year since I had asked. No, she would definitely be expecting something. That was why I had set up a small surprise party of my friends in her room, including Twilight’s own pre-recorded illusion of myself. With help from Princess Luna, we were finally confident that it would be enough to fool her sister. The small party would both assuage the princess’s suspicions and buy time for the guests to hide themselves.
Everything was ready. The small crystal in my hoof flashed green, signalling that the target had excused herself from the false party to open Court. I held my breath, and I would have felt the tension in the whole castle build to the breaking point, if it hadn’t been for the careful spellwork preventing such feelings.
The doors opened. The sound of slow, heavy hoofsteps approached where I was hiding. They ascended the long staircase, paused before the throne. I tensed my muscles, and…
“Hello there, Pinkie Pie.”
“MOTHER BUCKER!”
It had taken a full year of planning, rehearsals, and legally-questionable diversions, but the surprise party to end all surprise parties was finally ready to be sprung on the princess.
It was commonly believed in party-planning circles that Celestia’s true birthday was long lost to time, and I had never questioned it.
Then Twilight had casually asked me what I thought she should send the princess for a birthday present.
I left Twilight standing in the marketplace and immediately interrupted the Day Court in Canterlot to ask Celestia in person.
She had blinked. “May eleventh,” she answered simply.
My life immediately went on hold. I had years and years and years of missed birthdays to make up for! Nothing would come in the way of this party. Not family reunions, not Tirek’s escape, not even the Flim Flam brothers’ ascension to alicornhood.
I surreptitiously visited the entire population of Canterlot, recruited the best unicorns Celestia’s School had to offer, and spent weeks of sleepless nights planning everything out. Magical signatures and physical presences had to be masked, the Princess’s schedule had to be planned out down to the minute, and of course, the whole thing had to be done without her knowledge.
Only a surprise party would do. Not only was it traditional for the first party I threw for a pony to be a surprise, but this one had to be special. Celestia attended dozens of comparably-sized events throughout the year, so one more city-wide celebration just wouldn’t do. No, this one needed to stand out. And nothing did that to a party like being a complete surprise.
Coordinating the secrecy of thousands of ponies over months of preparation was easily the third-hardest thing I had ever done, but I had done it. The call from Baltimare had come in right on schedule, confirming that the princess was on her way. By now she should be passing over the streets of Canterlot, citizens going about their normal business below. Soon she would land on her balcony.
I suppressed a squeal of excitement. Always had to be ready, anything could go wrong at any point. I had to be quiet.
My left ear twitched as I heard a sneeze from a curtain hanging over one of the stained-glass windows on the north wall. I didn’t move a muscle, but mentally I ranted and raved at Orange Breeze. If that wretched mare’s hay fever was the thing that blew this whole operation, I might just be angry enough to– to… well no, I would never be angry enough to forget her anniversary party next month. Maybe enough to lace her cake with delayed-release capsaicin, though.
Luckily for the plan and her taste buds, however, the throne room remained quiet and empty. In reality it contained forty-five party cannons and ninety-three party ponies waiting for my signal, each of which I had hidden personally. The rest of Canterlot was just now sneaking en masse into the castle, heading quickly and quietly to their assigned hiding spots. With the powerful, subtle concealment charms in place over everything, Celestia would walk through empty halls into a completely empty throne room when she expected a full court, none the wiser.
The success of my plan depended on how Celestia would react to that. She knew I knew today was her birthday, and I wouldn’t bet that that mare had forgotten in the year since I had asked. No, she would definitely be expecting something. That was why I had set up a small surprise party of my friends in her room, including Twilight’s own pre-recorded illusion of myself. With help from Princess Luna, we were finally confident that it would be enough to fool her sister. The small party would both assuage the princess’s suspicions and buy time for the guests to hide themselves.
Everything was ready. The small crystal in my hoof flashed green, signalling that the target had excused herself from the false party to open Court. I held my breath, and I would have felt the tension in the whole castle build to the breaking point, if it hadn’t been for the careful spellwork preventing such feelings.
The doors opened. The sound of slow, heavy hoofsteps approached where I was hiding. They ascended the long staircase, paused before the throne. I tensed my muscles, and…
“Hello there, Pinkie Pie.”
“MOTHER BUCKER!”