Part 1: Create a distraction.

Tirek waited patiently in the mess hall for the perfect time. The seats and banks began to fill as inmates came from all corners of Tartarus for lunch. The guards scanned the prisoners from the high peaks surrounding the pit also known as the mess hall.

He passes his tray next to the lunch gargoyle, a slush of mash potato, cooked/uncooked vegetables and Tuesday meat surprise splashed onto it spraying him as well. He looked up to the gargoyle and asked, "Can I have some mustard please?" Only to get growled at for a response.

He then went to his seat, choosing the most secluded seat away from the guards praying eyes he locked onto his target; an overgrown dragon whose devouring his meal at the other end of the hall.

Taking a large chunk he flung it at the dragon. The meaty surprise however was too heavy for the weakened Tirek, it landed a few hooves away, exploding in a muted splash.

Tirek cursed his luck, but just as he was about to give up on the entire plan, a convict stepped on the exploded much and glided halfway across the hall landing straight on the dish of the overgrown dragon.

The dragon roared, Tirek took that moment to yell "Food Fight!" and the entire mess hall erupted like a sleeping volcano.

Tirek made his timely escape from the mess hall without any of the guards being the wiser.

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Part 2: Sneaking out.

Tirek spent decades searching for the best escape rout, until he found an unused sewage line that leads to the outside. He then spent another decade making a hole big enough for him to sneak through without anyone noticing him.

Now was the time to use it.

Crawling through the sewage system he noticed a putrid smell emanating from the other pipelines.

"Hey Stan, all the pipelines are overflowing with poop, the system will flood if we don't do something," The maintenance gargoyle's sound resounded through the pipeline, sending shivers in Tirek's spine.

"Again? What do they put in those Tuesday meat surprise?"

"Heck if I know."

"Well, open the auxiliary pipelines, hopefully it will all wash it all away."

Tirek looked back in horror as the sound of flatulence that echoed through the sewage line. But no matter how fast he tried to crawl, he couldn't outrun the flood after they flushed the toilet.

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Part 3: Confront the guard.

Grasping for breath, Tirek walked away from the draining pipeline with freedom in sight, however one obstacle remains, Cerberus.

"Where is that mangy ...?" But before Tirek could voice his irritation a loud growl interrupted him from behind.

Tirek turned slowly to face his foe. Cerberus was more than growling, he was poised to strike, however Tirek had a plan, he shuffled through his bag and pulled an enchanted crystal.

But this was no ordinary crystal, it took Tirek centuries to acquire it from one of the wizard prisoners of Tartarus, and it was the only weapon that works against Cerberus.

If only Tirek knew how to use it that is.

"Come on, work!" Tirek yelled however the crystal remained idle while Cerberus approached with sure steps toward it's pray.

Shacking, yelling, cursing, nothing seemed to work against the coming threat. Tirek grew desperate. Just as Cerberus was about to lurched at him Tirek covered his face and yelled, "Curse you, you old coot for selling me this piece of junk!"

At that moment the crystal glowed brilliantly, blinding both Tirek and Cerberus, Tirek yelled, "yes, Yes, YES!"

But the moment the glow subsided, Tirek glared disappointingly, "A ball?"

But sure enough Cerberus was captivated by the ball, he couldn't keep his three heads off of it.

"You want the ball?" Tirek waved the ball in front of Cerberus who wagged his tail happily at the toy, "Then go get it!" he threw the ball toward a nearby valley and Cerberus jovially ran after it.

Tirek let out a sigh of relief, prison break was never suppose to be easy, but it was definitely a dirty business.