Twilight took a sip of her tea. “So, Trixie, how are you doing these days?”

“Trixie is, ah, managing. But... business is slow,” she said quietly.

Six ponies sat around a rectangular wooden table, two together on each side and Twilight and Trixie on the ends.

“I'm sorry to hear that.”

Pinkie had a slice of cake on her plate before her, but she stared at it like it had just committed a heinous crime. Trixie was also barely touching hers, glancing up at the rest of the occupants of the table only to quickly look back down again.

“Trixie knows that she... was not very courteous to you all,” she said finally, taking some effort.

Pinkie was now glaring daggers at her cake. Rarity looked politely at Trixie, showing a true, ladylike façade. Fluttershy hid behind her mane.

“What’s done is done, Trixie,” Applejack smiled tightly. “Water under th’ bridge.” Twilight nodded along.

“No,” Trixie said, “Trixie feels...”

She then stopped for a few moments, closing her eyes. Everyone at the table looked up.

“I feel,” she began, the pronoun sounding alien from Trixie’s mouth, “I am... sorry.”

“Well, that’s the main thang,” Applejack smiled. “You realized the error of yer’ ways.”

Trixie looked into Applejack’s eyes. Applejack’s smile faltered.

“Trixie... Trixie’s dream was to be loved and respected,” she said, looking back to her plate. “It is a... powerful thing for Trixie. Sometimes— No, many times, it clouds Trixie’s judgement. I... I was lonely.”

At the last word, Applejack made a strained gulp. Pinkie, who hadn't looked at Trixie since she had arrived, gave a sharp, quiet sob.

“In truth... Trixie had hoped that, maybe, if she performed well enough in Ponyville, since it is a small town, Trixie could make some friends. Trixie did not realize how... how she must have appeared to you all,” she said.

“Well, Trixie, I can forgive you for that magic you did to my mane,” Rarity said, trying to lighten the atmosphere. She was the only one trying to smile.

“Trixie feels she owes you all... an explanation. This will be difficult for Trixie”—she quickly caught herself from melodrama—“but... I owe you all this, at least.”

The room was silent.

“Trixie’s parents... Trixie did not know her parents. But I dreamed that they were rich and famous. I dreamed that maybe if I could also be like them, I would meet them again—They would want me again,” she almost said the last sentence to herself, looking down from the table. “Trixie has not been... loved before.”

Fluttershy was now looking at Trixie with a pained expression.

“This is why I need my magic. At my... orphanage,” Trixie said the word like she was spitting out rotting food, “the only thing that attracted anypony’s attention was my magic. The others... they would only come to me to get me to do tricks. To entertain them.”

“...Sometimes, Trixie would be made to do magic, even when she did not want to,” she said evenly, betraying nothing. “And when I had grown up, I decided I would do what I did best: entertain.”

Twilight looked at Trixie, aghast. “Trixie...” she began, placing a hoof on her shoulder.

“And this is why I did... it. After Ponyville, I felt I was not strong enough. I had always been the strongest. Nopony at the orphanage, or anywhere else, had ever upstaged me like that. I felt I needed better tricks.”

“Oh, no,” Twilight said quietly.

“On my way through the forest, I decided I would try to pull my wagon across the river. Simple levitation and state-transmuting magic, but...” she gulped.

“I was not strong enough," she admitted, for the first time in her life.

Pinkie’s back shook as she cried silently. Rarity patted her back.

“If it had not been for her, I would not be here.”

Everyone at the table winced.

Pinkie suddenly stood, quivering with inner turmoil. “YOU should have died! Rainbow Dash was twenty times the pony you are!" she screeched. "You’re a useless... waste of life! I hate you! I...” She trailed off as the meaning of her words, coming straight from her heart, caught up with her. "I..."

Rarity got up and hugged her tightly.

“I... I just want Dashie back,” Pinkie said weakly.

Trixie just stared blankly at her.

“You are right,” Trixie said. “I am sorry for being alive.”

Trixie got up and left.