You will come to the Sirens first of all; they bewitch any mortal who approaches them. If a man in ignorance draws too close and catches their music, his wife and children will never welcome him home again; the high clear tones of the Sirens will bewitch him … you must stop the ears of all your crew with sweet wax that you have kneaded, so that none of the rest may hear the song.

Homer, Odyssey

When a sailor hears the Siren’s perfidious song, and bewitched by the melody, he is dragged to a self-chosen fate too soon; no longer he cleaves the waves, no longer he whitens the blue water with his oars unwetted now, but falling into the net of melodious Fate, he forgets to steer, quite happy, caring not for the seven starry Pleiades and the Bear’s circling course.

Nonnus, Dionysiaca

“I vote we banish them from Equestria!” declared Princess Platinum.

“That won’t work,” said Commander Hurricane. “They can fly!” She flapped her wings to make the point. “They would be back in Equestria in no time. I say we throw them in a dungeon!” She hammered a hoof on the wooden table so hard it left a horseshoe-shaped imprint on the surface.

“They could seduce any jailor with their magical voices,” replied the princess. “It’s far too dangerous to keep them in Canterlot.”

“So,” said Chancellor Puddinghead, always happy to play the part of the mediator, “the obvious solution is we banish them and throw them in a dungeon in the place that we banish them to!” She grinned with the satisfaction of one who is sure she has found the answer which had been missed by her peers.

The three premiers were at an emergency council meeting, hastily convened in Canterlot to discuss a dangerous situation which required urgent action. Three monsters known as sirens had settled on a rocky outcrop in the middle of the Equestrian plain, from where they had been using the magical seductive power of their singing to extort money and goods from passing travelers. Tales had reached Canterlot from merchants, who when passing the sirens, were seized by a sudden desire to go to the three creatures and throw all their gold, jewels, precious cloth and fine food at their hooves, before departing. On returning home, they wondered what had possessed them to do such a thing, foregoing their usual business sense.

To discuss this situation, the leaders of the three tribes, accompanied by their advisors, assistants, captains and friends, had all come together in the meeting hall. It was agreed by all that the situation was completely intolerable and that something must be done at once. The undecided issues were what it was that should be done, and who should do it.

Clover the Clever and Smart Cookie walked up to the council table and place a large book on the surface for all to view.

“According to the Equestrian Convention on the Equine Treatments of Convicts,” said Clover. “Prisoners must be provided with food and drink. If they are to be kept locked up, there must be some pony prepared to provide for them.”

“Couldn’t we just leave them with a really big pile of food—enough to last the rest of their lives?” said Puddinghead.

“According to my books, these creatures can live for many thousands of years,” said Clover, shaking her head.

A jingling of bells caused every pony present to turn to face one side of the hall.

“I might have a solution to the problem.”

The stallion who had spoken these words, Starswirl the Bearded, sat on a cushion on the far side of the hall, wearing his comically long beard and ridiculous hat-with-bells-on. Starswirl was an old pony at the time of this story. Nopony knew his exact age due to his excessive dabbling in time spells, but he had now reached a point where he was weary of adventures, and studying magic. He spent most of his time writing comic poetry, or sleeping at his desk. But such was the respect he had earned at the Equestrian Court, that he always had a seat at meetings. And on the rare occasions when he spoke, everypony listened.

“The problem is that their magical power makes it too dangerous to keep them anywhere where there is a chance somepony could hear them sing,” he said. “But if we were to banish them to another world—a world without magic—they could not be a threat to anyone.”

“That’s a good idea,” said Smart Cookie. “If they didn’t have their magic, they would have no choice but to learn how to make an honest living.”

“And if it’s in another world,” said Princess Platinum, “then it’s outside our jurisdiction. So whatever happens to them, nopony can say we violated the convention. Shall we take a vote? All those in favor of Mister Starswirl’s suggestion—”

There was a deafening sound as everypony in the room stomped their hooves on the ground in support of the motion.

“Very good,” said Starswirl. “Bring the three villains to me—gagged and in chains—and I will perform the spell to banish them.”

There was a long silence, eventually broken by Princess Platinum.

“No no no no no no!” she said, walking up to the stallion. “I think it is obvious that you, Starswirl the Magnificently Groomed, should have the honor of capturing these foes. After all, you will be protected by your amazing magic! There is no need to expose our soldiers to any unnecessary risk, when we have a hero to hoof.”

“I…err…” Starswirl mumbled. “I don’t travel very well these days.” He looked up at the unicorn regent with a nervous smile.

“Oh but you will have a military escort,” said Platinum. “You may take my carriage. We shall accompany you. As far as—just out of earshot of the sirens. Then we will help you out of the carriage, and you would just have to trot over to the terrible monsters and banish them! Pouf!” She looked the old wizard in the eye and fluttered her eyelashes. “Go on. Do it for Equestria!”

---

As neither Starswirl nor Clover wrote about their encounter with the sirens, and no other pony was present, the true events of their banishing were never properly recorded. Instead the scholars of the day dutifully recorded what they thought had happened, and what they believed Starswirl would have done. The bards then expanded these accounts into epic poems recounting the adventure, embellishing the missing details with plot twists of their own invention, based on the sort of thing which everypony knew Starswirl did. With times, the stories turned into legends, and the legends grew. A hundred years later there were so many conflicting accounts of what had happened and no one could be sure which was true. Some stories had it that the sirens had infiltrated Canterlot, or taken over the whole of Equestria, before being beaten in an epic battle with the great unicorn wizard which lasted over three days. Several thousand years hence, historians had given up any hope of learning the truth, and the scene had been the focus of several blockbluster films, each with more improbably choreographed fight scenes than the last. Starswirl was a legend.

---

Starswirl the Bearded stood on the open plain in front of the rocky outcrop which the sirens had claimed, accompanied only by his faithful student Clover the Clever. Behind them were all the armies of Equestria, safety waiting below the horizon.

After extensive research into protective enchantments, counter spells, and other ways to protect themselves from the siren’s song, Starswirl and Clover had adopted what they believed to be the most robust defense. They had plugged their ears with wax.

“Best get this over and done with,” said Starswirl.

“… … ” replied Clover inaudibly.

They walked up to the rocks. On the smooth stone surface, warmed by the sun, Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, and Sonata Dusk lay enjoying the afternoon heat. Around them were piles of all the treasure they had collected from passers-by, as well as barrels of wine, brandy and cider. At the foot of the rocks the ground was littered with scattered gold and silver coins, and the remains of many meals. Adagio looked down at the crazy old pony in the silly hat without much concern. Aria paid no attention and focused on tipping the contents of a silver goblet into her mouth. Sonata was occupied with scratching her name on the rock.

“You cover the other side,” said Starswirl to Clover.

“… … … ?”

Starswirl waved a hoof at the younger unicorn, who, true to her name, picked up the message quickly despite the lack of audio, and galloped away around the other side of the rock. Starswirl then levitated a scroll and pair of reading glasses out of his saddlebag. Pushing the glasses up his nose, he unrolled the scroll and read out the proclamation.

“Ms. Adagio Dazzle, Ms. Aria Blaze and Ms. Sonata Dusk. My name is Starswirl the Bearded. I am hereby charged by the United Council of the Unicorns, Pegasi and Earth Ponies of Equestria to deliver this message. You have been found guilty of charges of squatting, extortion, highway robbery, noise pollution, and being too beautiful for you own good. You have been sentenced to exile and are from now on forbidden to set hoof within Equestria. To enforce this, you will now be banished to another world, a world without magic, where the powers which you have so abused will have no effect. You will be given the bodies and appearance of beings of that world, but shall retain your souls and your natural longevity. It is hoped that you will learn to behave responsibly. You may now state anything you have to say in your defense.”

The Equestrian Convention on the Equine Treatments of Convicts stated that the accused must be given the opportunity to say something in their defense. Fortunately it did not say that anypony had to listen to it. Starswirl rolled up the scroll. He noticed that the sirens seemed to be laughing at him.

“Are you ready?”

The unicorn cast a silent spell, sending a beam of white magic out of his horn, this diverged away from him, then formed a spherical bubble of light which enclosed the three sirens. Taken by surprise, they leaped into the air and tried to fly away, but just bounced back off the inside of the bubble. As their anger grew they repeatedly flew against the barrier, trying to break through, but each time the film seemed to weaken, Starswirl shot a reinforcement spell to shore it up. On the other side, Clover the Clever did the same shooting light beams into rear side of the cell. Caught in a bubble between two of the most powerful unicorns in Equestria, the sirens had no chance of escape.

“Right, where shall we send you?”

An expert at magical multi-tasking, Starswirl held the bubble spell in mind, while taking a notebook out of his saddlebag and peering at the pages through his reading glasses, trying to make out his spidery writing. Years before, he had compiled an index of spells to access every universe he had explored. Some had taken years to develop, and had only been possible after the initial connection had been established through a magical mirror. After he passed away, many of these would be lost, as no other pony could interpret his personal script.

He ran a hoof down the list searching for a suitable world. Somewhere without magic—that ruled out half of them—and somewhere inhabited—it would not be just to send them to a barren wasteland—and not excessively hot or cold or dark or humid.

Eventually he found the spell for a suitable world which he had visited long ago through that magic mirror now kept in the Crystal Empire. He cast the enchantment, opening a window across realities in the sky in front on him. Now to find a suitable landing site—he had developed a suitable user-friendly illusion for this. He surveyed the alien landscape, rotated the view, and zoomed out to see an aerial view of a dark forest—that was no good—zoom out further—ah, there was the coastline, that was better—zoom in again—there was a little island close to a port city, perfect—zoom in further—much of the coast looked rocky. That was no good, he didn’t want to hurt them on the sharp rocks, but likewise he couldn’t throw them into the sea. Then he saw a small sandy cove—perfect—set the target. Opening the window to the maximum size, he pushed the bubble, with sirens, through the portal, then with impressive skill, burst it, sending the exiles flying down to the ground in the other world, then zipped up the window before they could think of trying to fly back. The magic done, the sky returned to normal and Clover trotted up to his side.

“Good. That’s that done, now we can go and get some tea.”

“… …”

“Oh, I just realized, I forgot to give them clothes! Should have done that really, the inhabitants of that world can get a bit funny about nudity. Never mind, I expect they’ll manage. Somebody will lend them a toga or something. I would have got the wrong fashion anyway, it’s been years since I went there.”

“… ?”

---

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!”

Thud. Thud. Thud. Three bodies hit the soft sandy beach. For a while they lay face down in the sand in varying states of discomfort.

“Grrrhhh … Hmmph … Urgh …”

“Hmm … Yrhhh! ... Urghhh …”

“Arrrrrr—Ouch! What you do that for Aria? Eek!” Sonata screamed as her companion pulled her head out of the sand by her hair. The bright sunlight blinded her, and suddenly finding herself in control of a different set of limbs than usual, she fell back onto the sandy ground.

“W-what’s going on?”

“Weren’t you paying attention?” said Aria. “That wizard has sent us into another world. And turned us into different creatures.”

Sonata looked at her outstretched arms and legs and let out another scream.

“Waah! w-what did he do?” She waved her hands in front of her face then thrust them behind her, clasping her buttocks with a terrified look. “My tail! My beautiful tail! What has he done with it?”

“You’re a different species now,” said Adagio. “Get used to it. We have far bigger problems to deal with than your tail.”

“But how could he turn us into something without a tail? That’s improper—it leaves your behind horribly exposed. Even ponies have tails. And what are these things?” She looked down at her breasts, prodding the flesh with a finger and shuddering at the sight of how it wobbled.

“You’re a mammal. Those are your mammary glands to let you feed your baby.”

“Yuck!” said Aria, looking at her own chest. “But why are they so big? He’s turned us each into a cross between a tail-less chimpanzee and a lactating cow. The pervert. Do you think he’s looking at us through some magic mirror and laughing?”

“Shut up,” said Adagio. “The real problem is that we are in a different world, and one where he said there was no magic.”

“No world is completely without magic,” mused Aria. “And we still have these.” She ran a finger across the pendant hanging around her neck.

Adagio clasped her fingers around her own pendant. “Let’s see…”

She climbed to her feet and, with some hesitation and lots of waving arms around to keep her balance, walked across the sand. Sonata and Aria followed.

“Urgh! These things bounce as you walk.”

“Shut it Sonata!”

On reaching a grey rock, Adagio set her eyes on a red crab, scuttling across the barnacle-covered surface. Opening her mouth, she sang out a clear melodious note. This initially had no effect, so she increased the pitch and modulated the tone until it excited ripples on a tiny pool of water on the rock. The crab then scuttled towards her, under the spell. Once within reach, she grabbed and smashed it down onto the surface, breaking open its shell.

“We still have some power,” she said, picking the crab meat out of the broken shell with her fingers. “But it’s fading. It could be gone completely in a few days. Maybe just a few hours. We need to act quickly.”

“What can we do Adagio?” asked Aria. “Sit around and hope that some gullible wizard walks by?”

“We need to get to a town or city. Then find some creatures weak enough to fall under our spell. If we can shatter their free will and bind them to us, then they’ll stay at our command even without magic.”

“That never worked in Equestria,” said Aria. “Whenever we moved in towns, they would band together and chase us away with pitch-forks just as soon as they learned how to plug their ears with parsley!”

“This world is different. Ponies were strong—it took a lot to break their friendships. But, if this world is without magic, it will be easier here. They won’t have any resistance to enchantment.” She narrowed her eyes, and smiled as she ran through the plan in her head.

“But how do we get to a city from this desolate shore?”

“There’s one over there!”

Standing on top of the rock, Sonata pointed out across the sea. On the horizon they could see the outline of another coastline. Behind a promontory was a graceful bay, with a volcano in the background. Right on the coast, they could see a line of buildings. Plumes of smoke signaled an inhabited settlement. It was in fact the picture-perfect image of the Bay of Naples, which in a few thousand years, would grace the walls of pizzerias across this world.

“I suppose that will have to do,” said Adagio.

“But how can we get there?” said Aria.

“Swim?” said Sonata.

“Think Sonata! How can you swim without a tail? And that must be miles away.”

“We’re in luck.” Adagio smiled and pointed the other way. On the other side of the promontory, a sail was visible on the horizon. A ship was moving towards them. “Here comes our transport. We just need to sing them a little song.”

The three sirens climbed up onto the rock to get the best view.

“Will they understand what we sing?” said Sonata. “Who knows what language they use in this world?”

“You know how the magic works!” said Adagio. “Just sing with passion, thinking about what you desire, and the spell will ensure that they hear words that make sense to them, and they will have no choice but to obey our commands.”

The three joined hands and assumed a pose, clearly visible to the surrounding sea.

“Remember girls,” said Adagio, with a hint of a threat in her voice. “We’ve got to get this right. It could be our one chance at seizing power. If we mess this up, we could be stuck in this dump for the next three thousand years.”

---

The captain of the Ionian ship stood on the prow of his vessel surveying the Amalfi coast. They were nearing the end of a long voyage from their home port in Rhodes, and just had to sail around the peninsula and into the bay, and land at the colonial city of Neapolis. But he could not relax yet, as he had to navigate his ship through the treacherous passage between the mainland and the isle of Capri, where many a ship had foundered on the dangerous rocks. But the Mediterranean was calm, and in bright sunlight there was no reason to fear. He was about to signal to tell the slaves to ease off the rowing, when he caught sight of what appeared to be three beautiful female figures standing on a rocky promontory at the edge of the island.

Then the music started. At first just a faint voice carried across the sea, but soon growing loud and clear.

Listen to the sound of our voice
Soon you'll find you don't have a choice
Pull your oars and make haste this way
You’re going to let us cross the bay

The captain signaled to the seaman at the rudder to maintain a straight course. He obeyed without question. The first mate walked to the front of the ship and stared ahead, mesmerized by the figures on the rocks. “Nymphs…” he mumbled.

You will come around
To listen to our sound
From Neapolis to Syracuse
Our tune shall be the only muse
When our full power is unfurled
You will see us rule this world
With Athens overthrown
We’ll make this place our own

All the sailors were now all on deck staring at the rocks, except for the slaves chained to the oars, who still sensed the urgency and rowed harder than ever sending the ship speeding towards the island.

The magic we deploy, is able to destroy
Every town from here to Sparta and to Troy
Olympius shall fall; Zeus shall be my thrall
Your world’s riches—we shall take it all!

The sirens hung onto the final note as the ship approached the shore. Then, with an almighty crash, the prow struck the reef before the island. A huge hole was torn into the hull and water flooded into the vessel. In less than a minute the ship disappeared below the surface as the hypnotized sailors made no effort to escape.

Adagio, Aria, and Sonata looked down at the waves crashing against the rock, carrying a few loose bits of wood—all that remained of the vessel.

“What do we do now?” asked Sonata.

“Make yourself comfortable,” said Aria. “It seems we are going to be stuck on this stupid world for a very long time.”

---

Once they were back in Canterlot and had removed the wax from their ears, Starswirl and Clover sat down by the fire to enjoy their tea and buttered crumpets, and discuss the day’s events.

“So you found a safe place to send them in that world, where they cannot harm other creatures, or come to harm themselves,” asked Clover.

“Indeed,” said Starswirl, “I sent them to the lovely little island of Capreae, or Capri. It’s a delightful place. I visited it briefly many years ago while exploring that world with my old friend Socrates. Spectacular sea views, warm climate, lovely places to swim, and great sea food. In a few thousand years it will probably be ruined by excessive tourist developments, but right now you could not ask for a better place to be exiled to. I wonder if I was a bit too nice to them. This was supposed to be a penalty after all.”