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Organised by
RogerDodger
Word limit
400–750
The Most Important Meal of the Day
“I assure you, we at the Food Safety Commission take our jobs very seriously,” the agent said.
Flam and Flam glanced at each other and shrugged. “I see no problem with the current product line.”
“It delivers what it promises, and does so with wholesome, all-natural ingredients.”
The agent rubbed a hoof between his eyes. “I don’t doubt that. But just because ingredients are all-natural doesn’t make them good.”
“You have our assurances—”
“I think you’ll agree that your assurances don’t carry much weight. Look—” the agent pulled out a notepad and pencil “—let’s just start with a list. What’s in the stuff? And I need specifics.”
“Wheat bran.”
“Oats.”
“A pinch of salt.”
Jotting down each item in the list, the agent gradually relaxed his frown. Nothing untoward there. “I… I guess I don’t see any problems. But you’re sure that’s everything?”
The brothers shared another glance. “Yes. What makes you think otherwise, my good sir?”
“Well… there’s the name. That’s often indicative of what’s in it.” He waved a foreleg toward the poster on the easel by the head of the table. “It’s called ‘Fibrous Nuggets.’ I can’t be the only one who might think it has…” He circled a hoof in the air.
“It has what?” Flim replied, raising an eyebrow.
“Well… fibrous nuggets.”
Flam wrinkled his brow. “I don’t follow.”
“Ponies might think…”
Flim and Flam stood up and flailed their forelegs. “Oh, no! Absolutely not! We couldn’t feed a cereal to ponies if it contained… that.”
The agent rubbed his chin. “I guess… I mean, there’s nothing wrong with the content. I suppose I can approve it for sale, but I have to say you might run into a marketing problem. It’s not the most pleasant name.”
Flim said, “Why not? It contains a lot of fiber, and it’s in a nugget form. It’s accurate, descriptive…”
“...and part of a complete breakfast,” Flam finished.
Sighing, the agent put his pencil down. “Okay. No objections. I still think you have a public image issue with it, but that’s not my bailiwick. You have a license to produce.”
“Excellent! In today’s stressful society, it’s an ideal solution for the pony on the go!” Flim said, his tail swishing.
Flam nodded. “With all that fiber, it’ll take a backed-up constitution and have you making fibrous nuggets in no time!”
The agent whimpered and slumped face-first onto the table.
Flam and Flam glanced at each other and shrugged. “I see no problem with the current product line.”
“It delivers what it promises, and does so with wholesome, all-natural ingredients.”
The agent rubbed a hoof between his eyes. “I don’t doubt that. But just because ingredients are all-natural doesn’t make them good.”
“You have our assurances—”
“I think you’ll agree that your assurances don’t carry much weight. Look—” the agent pulled out a notepad and pencil “—let’s just start with a list. What’s in the stuff? And I need specifics.”
“Wheat bran.”
“Oats.”
“A pinch of salt.”
Jotting down each item in the list, the agent gradually relaxed his frown. Nothing untoward there. “I… I guess I don’t see any problems. But you’re sure that’s everything?”
The brothers shared another glance. “Yes. What makes you think otherwise, my good sir?”
“Well… there’s the name. That’s often indicative of what’s in it.” He waved a foreleg toward the poster on the easel by the head of the table. “It’s called ‘Fibrous Nuggets.’ I can’t be the only one who might think it has…” He circled a hoof in the air.
“It has what?” Flim replied, raising an eyebrow.
“Well… fibrous nuggets.”
Flam wrinkled his brow. “I don’t follow.”
“Ponies might think…”
Flim and Flam stood up and flailed their forelegs. “Oh, no! Absolutely not! We couldn’t feed a cereal to ponies if it contained… that.”
The agent rubbed his chin. “I guess… I mean, there’s nothing wrong with the content. I suppose I can approve it for sale, but I have to say you might run into a marketing problem. It’s not the most pleasant name.”
Flim said, “Why not? It contains a lot of fiber, and it’s in a nugget form. It’s accurate, descriptive…”
“...and part of a complete breakfast,” Flam finished.
Sighing, the agent put his pencil down. “Okay. No objections. I still think you have a public image issue with it, but that’s not my bailiwick. You have a license to produce.”
“Excellent! In today’s stressful society, it’s an ideal solution for the pony on the go!” Flim said, his tail swishing.
Flam nodded. “With all that fiber, it’ll take a backed-up constitution and have you making fibrous nuggets in no time!”
The agent whimpered and slumped face-first onto the table.