Hey! It looks like you're new here. You might want to check out the introduction.
Organised by
RogerDodger
Word limit
400–750
Return to Sender
Dear Cousin,
It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Just sending you this letter, what with you taking a hand in politics once again. How’s it been recently? I’m not entirely sure if this will reach you, you change the closest thing you’ve got to a mailing address every other week. Makes it a pain to contact you.
Either way, how’s it been? Still working hard, I take it. Last time we met, you enjoyed mutating animals and rearranging the landscape. I expect you’re going to be doing it at the time that this letter reaches you. In my case, I’ve been laying out a few details. Planetary alignment coming up, happy fifty thousandth birthday by the way, and I need to begin moving. I have a few things to conquer.
I hope that you mail, or whatever you happen to be using this particular century, me your response as soon a physically possible. If possible, try and send it to me on a weekend. I hate having to organize my mail and, knowing you, you’ll send me something terribly infuriating. Also, I’m busy on the twenty-first of the summer. Kinda important.
Dear Cousin,
I hate that habit of yours. You decided to send me a collection of literal puns. Please refrain from doing that again. It’s hard enough to keep everything orderly where I live, despite the obvious weirdness of that fact, and your addition of a little chaos into my life doesn’t help. At least Entropy is kind enough to send me some semblance of Order.
Anyway, I heard you just took up residence in a new kingdom. Good for you. How long have you been planning to do it? I assumed that nobody would be moving in on it for ages. I had diagrams and everything. Well, keep in touch. I enjoy your letters, despite all of our rivalries. Just refrain from sending me anything pun related. The bar wasn’t half as funny as you thought. Got alcohol all over my notes, by the way. You’re a jerk at times. Now I can’t figure out what planets are aligning. Was it Metuar or Judfa that was going to be in third position? Tell me if you know which one was, I could use the help.
Dear Cousin,
Please stop. A dragon is not exactly helpful. I can’t spend anything more than three minutes pouring over your letters. I’m sending your dragon back with this letter. Plan for it to be there seven business days after you receive this letter. If it’s late, please tell your dragon to learn how to read maps. You’ll be doing it a favor. Although she did tell me that Judfa was coming up third. Thanks.
Out of curiosity, have you spoken with Symphony recently? I heard she got herself trapped underneath a flower or something. She does a terrible job at, well, her job. She never should have gotten hitched. Progeny are terribly hard to analyze, what with multiple different sets of genes to work with. I suppose that I’ll have to make use of the data that I have. Also, why'd you say to plan for the worst?
Although, Rust probably could fail at her job as well. I suppose that even you decided to take a break. At least your break has only been for a couple of centuries. Rust’s been chilling in Tartarus for a couple of eons, if my memory serves. Once your break ends, I’ll go and take over for you. It’s not like anyone else is going to come in and take over after you’ve been fired. Plus, why do you want those seeds? Respond as soon you can. Also, have you seen any small, different colored gemstones? I heard they went missing. See you after I take over.
Sincerely, Your Cousin
Dear Cousin,
You’re fired. You didn’t even think to tell me that you were planning to get overthrown. On a side note, you got me trapped by a pair of ponies right before the stars and planets aligned. Once I get out, I’ll do my best to set everything straight. I need to restore balance and all that jazz. Discord, I hope you’re happy. At least they had the sense to put you on display in a garden. Very orderly. Although that hedge maze is as stupid as it gets. Remind me to ask them to get a decorator for it some time. I’ll put it on my planner or something.
It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Just sending you this letter, what with you taking a hand in politics once again. How’s it been recently? I’m not entirely sure if this will reach you, you change the closest thing you’ve got to a mailing address every other week. Makes it a pain to contact you.
Either way, how’s it been? Still working hard, I take it. Last time we met, you enjoyed mutating animals and rearranging the landscape. I expect you’re going to be doing it at the time that this letter reaches you. In my case, I’ve been laying out a few details. Planetary alignment coming up, happy fifty thousandth birthday by the way, and I need to begin moving. I have a few things to conquer.
I hope that you mail, or whatever you happen to be using this particular century, me your response as soon a physically possible. If possible, try and send it to me on a weekend. I hate having to organize my mail and, knowing you, you’ll send me something terribly infuriating. Also, I’m busy on the twenty-first of the summer. Kinda important.
Dear Cousin,
I hate that habit of yours. You decided to send me a collection of literal puns. Please refrain from doing that again. It’s hard enough to keep everything orderly where I live, despite the obvious weirdness of that fact, and your addition of a little chaos into my life doesn’t help. At least Entropy is kind enough to send me some semblance of Order.
Anyway, I heard you just took up residence in a new kingdom. Good for you. How long have you been planning to do it? I assumed that nobody would be moving in on it for ages. I had diagrams and everything. Well, keep in touch. I enjoy your letters, despite all of our rivalries. Just refrain from sending me anything pun related. The bar wasn’t half as funny as you thought. Got alcohol all over my notes, by the way. You’re a jerk at times. Now I can’t figure out what planets are aligning. Was it Metuar or Judfa that was going to be in third position? Tell me if you know which one was, I could use the help.
Dear Cousin,
Please stop. A dragon is not exactly helpful. I can’t spend anything more than three minutes pouring over your letters. I’m sending your dragon back with this letter. Plan for it to be there seven business days after you receive this letter. If it’s late, please tell your dragon to learn how to read maps. You’ll be doing it a favor. Although she did tell me that Judfa was coming up third. Thanks.
Out of curiosity, have you spoken with Symphony recently? I heard she got herself trapped underneath a flower or something. She does a terrible job at, well, her job. She never should have gotten hitched. Progeny are terribly hard to analyze, what with multiple different sets of genes to work with. I suppose that I’ll have to make use of the data that I have. Also, why'd you say to plan for the worst?
Although, Rust probably could fail at her job as well. I suppose that even you decided to take a break. At least your break has only been for a couple of centuries. Rust’s been chilling in Tartarus for a couple of eons, if my memory serves. Once your break ends, I’ll go and take over for you. It’s not like anyone else is going to come in and take over after you’ve been fired. Plus, why do you want those seeds? Respond as soon you can. Also, have you seen any small, different colored gemstones? I heard they went missing. See you after I take over.
Sincerely, Your Cousin
Dear Cousin,
You’re fired. You didn’t even think to tell me that you were planning to get overthrown. On a side note, you got me trapped by a pair of ponies right before the stars and planets aligned. Once I get out, I’ll do my best to set everything straight. I need to restore balance and all that jazz. Discord, I hope you’re happy. At least they had the sense to put you on display in a garden. Very orderly. Although that hedge maze is as stupid as it gets. Remind me to ask them to get a decorator for it some time. I’ll put it on my planner or something.