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Best Laid Plans · FiM Minific ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 400–750
From Princess Twilight Sparkle, President of the Family Reunion
Dear Family, Friends, and Concerned Litigants,

On behalf of the Twinkle-Nebula-Frie-Neutron Family Reunion, I would like to start this letter out with an apology. For starters, when I invited the yearly family reunion to be held at the Castle of Friendship in Ponyville, I had no idea how many of our family’s relatives would actually show up. Normal attendance at our reunion in Fillydelphia has been hovering around double digits for many years now, and I calculated that the castle guest rooms would be able to accommodate the entire reunion and then some. To my surprise, attendance at this year’s 454th reunion exceeded all expectations, coming in at just over three hundred and twelve ponies at the reunion dinner, plus one special guest who I will get to shortly. Thanks to my friends, we were able to house all of the participants the evening before, however Rainbow Dash would like to state her disappointment with whatever guest seems to have rearranged her furniture to match the Fibonacci sequence, and Applejack is still upset at whatever guest was practicing multiplication with her brother, whatever that means.

Due to lack of information of their ongoing feud, I regret that the Nebula and the Neutron branches of the family were housed in the same wing of the castle, although that was no excuse for the midnight graffiti raids from both sides leaving derogatory mathematical formulas on each other’s doors, as well as the breakfast food fight that still has Spike cleaning scrambled eggs out of the curtains. Incidentally, if anybody will claim room 27B as their work, I believe you may have solved the Neighmann hypothesis, if you can recreate the area under the scrambled egg stains regarding the non-trivial zero.

I would like to pass a special apology along to the entire reunion in regards to the arrival of Glar’dohan the Mighty, Spike’s mother. It was entirely my fault that I failed to inform Spike that the reunion was supposed to only be for direct relatives of the four sisters from the original family, and running around while screaming at the top of my lungs and summoning alternate dimensional copies of myself for support during the event probably was not very helpful to the mental state of the rest of the guests. For those of you who were still hiding or fled after her arrival, Missus Mighty did apologize and gave back most of the property which she seized upon breaking through the back wall of the castle and interrupting our reunion dinner. If you are still missing items, please contact Spike with a full description and he will be glad to mail them back to you. Also, if you can find Twilight Sparkle Delta Prime, please notify us at once. She/he is needed back in her/his dimension as soon as possible to stem an invasion of giant ants.

Also, I would like to congratulate the family of Gardenia Giorgi on her new cutie mark, discovered while she and several other young ponies were being cared for by our own Ponyville Cutie Mark Crusaders in their foalsitting service. Under the tutelage of Scootaloo, she discovered a new Closest Spherical Packing method using a hexagonal array in order to maximize the number of grapes that would fit in her mouth, and by coincidence the same process worked in her verification experiment to see the number of young ponies who would fit into the broom closet on the first floor of the Castle of Friendship.

As much as I would like to invite the family reunion back to my castle next year as planned, I have been served with a restraining order prohibiting it, so as a compromise location, I believe we should have next year’s reunion at my brother’s castle in the Crystal Empire. You may have recognized him as the tall stallion in the back of the room who was laughing so much every time something went wrong. In any event, all of us will be more than happy to see you again next year at the 455th reunion.

Bring your family photos.

Sincerely
Princess Twilight Sparkle, Family Reunion President
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