Pastries Like Fluffy Elephants
$ • Bakery, Coffee & Tea
[Address]
★★★★★ 5/17/2012
[Two check-ins]

Do you ever believe that something else is out there? Like some great unknown is calling to you to do this strange, yet certain thing, and you disregard it, resisting it, ears closed to the clattering masses, eyes clamped to your inescapability, and you put it off so long, almost overlooking it, but eventually the inevitable happens, and you can no longer avoid the circumstances: you’re forced to look forward, skulking through and plodding forward like the damn good solider you are?

If that’s a yes, then go forth my child and do whatever nebulous thing life is telling you to do.

I, on the other hand, just had a gift card here that was about to expire.

If you haven’t read the other reviews already, PLFE or P-Life as some people call it, is a little café known mainly for their mini Bundt cakes. It was recommended to me by my coworkers and some friends. They were aghast when I said I hadn’t eaten here yet even though it’s practically right next to my work. To clear that elephant in the room, they gave me the gift card almost a year ago. Too bad it has an expiration date.

I was always hesitant on coming here because of the hype, and the fact that it’s always buzzing with people. Lines that sometimes go outside the door – but it’s not because the room is small. It’s a pretty large building with seemingly plenty of seating, however the wait times are on the longer side for a café. I was standing at the to-go line and probably waited there about twenty minutes.

Inside the café, there’s an old country type of feeling to the room with ornate porcelain plates pinned to the walls, baskets and farm-related décor with plenty of flowers, vases, and flowers in vases. The display counter in the front shows all of their pastries and their assemblage of bundt cakes, all daintily lined up. Smores. Peanut butter. Taro. Tiramisu. Other flavors too. They also have a good selection of tea and sandwiches, but if coffee’s your poison, they have your standard local roasters like Dino/Dyno Roasters and Black ‘N Bold. I ordered their special: buy 2 mini bundts and get a small coffee for a dollar.

Both cakes melt in your mouth much like the texture of a soufflé. The oreo cake is rich, but not so rich that it overpowers you and leaves you choked and needing to rinse your throat with water. The red velvet tastes like red velvet and the cream cheese frosting dollop on top made it especially tasty. I usually hate cream and tend to wipe it off, but I didn’t mind eating theirs. Their most popular item is the white vanilla-fied bundt cake, which they call their “white elephant”. I haven’t tried it yet, but next time I will.

If some higher being was calling me, then goddamn! Why the hell didn’t I listen sooner! This is fucking delicious! Go ahead and address that elephant in the room! The hype is worth it.

This deserves more than five stars! I’m probably buying a dozen next time I’m here.

I might or might not share.

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Romero’s Bistro
$$$ • Italian
[Address]
★★★ 5/29/2012

I had a first date here and expected their food to be good. Instead, it was only satisfactory. But maybe other things are to blame for that.

Romero’s is on the corner of Camerol and 22nd. Parking is either valet or meter. Or neighborhood parking if you can find it. It’s is a pricey Italian dinner-only establishment that’s been here for over three generations now, based on the splatter of pictures concealed in their entrance and their little origin blurb in the menu.

Wait, dude. Stop. If you had a first date, shouldn’t you have, you know, actually paid attention to your date and not the damn menu?

At Romero’s wine glasses are laid on every table. Candles are lit to set a sensual ambiance. Vines are hanging from the awning, and as you eat you can hear the classical jazz softly lapsing in and out of your ears. If you’re going to actually talk to your date, then this place is quiet enough to have a decent conversation… or even an actual conversation.

Of course, if all your date is going to do is stare at her phone, well, you might as well stare at everything else in the restaurant. Like their Great Wall of Wine. Or their oil paintings of the Bertollini Romero, their first owner.

The food was decent. Unmemorable. I had a blackened salmon that came with seasoned kale and mashed potatoes. Everything was a bit salty.

An obviously, we passed on dessert.

They didn’t even give out free bread. For about $30 a plate, shouldn’t that be required?

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Schadenfreude Beans & Roasters
$ • Coffee & Tea
[Address]
★★★★★ 8/17/2012
[Seven check-ins]

Don’t let the name fool you. This is a coffee shop not too far from main street and has some of the friendliest staff I’ve ever met.

Upon entering, you’re immediately drawn to the backsides of American consumerism blatantly staring at you. Writers, wannabe writers, people who have no official workplace, people who just want to score free wifi, coffee mongrels who have rejected Starbucks, or whoever are nestled with their coffee cups in hand, hovering other the blinking lights of their laptops or tablets or phones with hazy, glazy, DEAD EYES.

If you come here, good luck scoring an outlet. Electrical tentacles crowd at the pillar, tangled as they to get a power source while their owners above engage in some kind of crowdsourcing. They, too are in need of fueling.

But I digress.

Schadenfreude has great coffee. Great. And the staff always knows what they’re talking about. They also have different milk options like soy, almond and coconut, but I never bother with those.

I usually order a red eye. Helps avoid the dead eyes, ya kno? And with just that, I’m able to last a 12 hour shift.

Seating is pretty limited and for that reason, I take my cup to go. Today though, I had to get some paperwork sent to the company fast and like usual, found there was no seating available. Luckily, after seeing the same faces each day, a familiar stranger offered me a seat at her tiny table.

See, even the strangers here are nice! Go here, everyone is nice!

Only four and a half stars because of the seating.

P.S. If you check in they give you 10% your order.

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Edit: 12/18/2013
Updated to five stars give because the lack of seating was the best thing that ever happened to me. Plus, their coffee is pretty damn good.
: )

Dale & Dell
$$ • Pizza, Italian
[Address]
★★ ½ 9/1/2012
Pros:
-Have a variety of vegetable choices like arugula, butternut squash and artichoke hearts
-Garlic knots are amazing
-Plenty of seating
-Cheap beer
-Like Buffalo Wild Wings except with pizza. Sports always playing. Good as an ice breaker.

Cons:
-No deep dish pizza, only thin crust
-Really crowded, hard to hold a conversation without yelling “What” all the time.
-Infested by drunk college students (both the patrons and the staff)
-Pizza slice by itself is expensive. Just get the whole pizza.
-Pasta’s not worth it

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Wakari Ramen
$ • Japanese, Ramen
[Address]
★★★ 11/29/2012

My acquaintance/friend and I stopped here for a quick bite. I’ve seen most places offer ramen for about $10 and this place is no different. They have your standard tonkotsu, shoyu and miso ramen, but what’s different is that there’s also an option for spicy versions.

We went around dinner and it wasn’t too busy. We got counter seats, with a nice view of the chefs dropping the gyoza or the tempera in the fryer and picking it up with the skimmer. I ordered the tonkotsu spicy ramen combo with extra pork and a half order of gyoza, and my friend ordered the curry ramen. My pork broth was a bit oily, and towards the end, all the salt started giving me a headache. The curry ramen seemed to have carrots, beef, and potatoes in its soup. Honestly, I don’t know if they use MSG in their broth.

The gyoza was especially fried and tasty. Probably the only thing I liked about the place. Also the fact that they give you free green tea.

A couple of miles away, on 7th street is another ramen restaurant, Ramen of Napes, specializing in make-it-yourself ramen. Go there instead.

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Off the Rim Taco Truck
[Address]
$ • Mexican, Catering Services
★★★★ 12/16/2012

It’s a taco truck. Forget those “gourmet”, over-priced KBBQ or grilled cheese or lobster truck. For a buck a piece, you can snag some authentic Mexican street tacos.

But here’s a tidbit for you folks: this place does NOT serve burritos. Only tacos. Soft tacos. Those hard shell enthusiast reviewers don’t know what the hell authentic means.

The most popular tacos are the carne asada tacos and the chicharones tacos. They also serve chicken, al carbon, and chorizo. They have two types of salsa. One green and one red. Both have a nice kick. I personally like the green better than the red.

Since it’s a taco truck it moves locations frequently, but every Thursday it parks it rear right at the empty parking lot near the auto shop, off Birch Avenue. It’s an eat-and-stand place. No sitting anywhere, unless you want to sit on the floor.

And when you’re done, you and the lady can walk to The Black Swan across the street and grab a few tequila shots.

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Some Common Phrase
$$ • Gastropub, Burgers, Bars
[Address]
★★★★ 12/18/2012

Let it not be said that food doesn’t bring people together. Good food ALWAYS brings close people together, and like Raymond Carver never said, it’d always probably invite people to become closer.

I had an official “first” date here. (But, hey it was probably more like the 5th or 6th date)

Hey, women like burgers as much as men, right? At this place, you’ll know for sure that the answer to that is a definite yes.

Anyhoo, she got the portebello mushroom burger. It’s a vegetarian burger, but she’s not a vegetarian. (She eats pork just fine, thank ya very much)

We shared the sweet potato fries which were seasoned with sea salt and some combination of garlic power, Cajun seasoning, and other stuff.

This place is open late. So go ahead and drink the night away! Or order another craft, you guys can Uber home.

I had the “Ugly Quackling” burger with is beef infused with duck fat. Don’t be alarmed with by the duck because fuck, it makes it delicious! The burger itself had tomatoes, arugula, caramelized onions, a thick slab of peppered bacon, garlic aioli truffle spread all over a brioche bun.

Skip the garlic aioli sauce if you plan on kissing afterward. ;) If it’s unplanned, then good on you!

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The Secret Bar
$$ • Bar
[Address]
★★★★★ 12/29/2012

Their not-so-subtle name says it all. Even entering this place is a secret and if you’re not careful you might spend most of your time trying to find the bar. The entrance is located inside the alley, past the swanky apartment complex and near the other restaurants lining the street. Head west of the restaurants and you’ll see an alleyway located between a flower shop and the Barrel Bar. Keep going until you reach the end.

There will be two doors. One in front of you and one to your right with a light post. Knock and – I kid you not – someone will ask for a password. The password changes every month, but this month it’s Truman Capote.

The bar itself has this retro, Gatsby, roaring 20s, prohibition-era ambience. Even the waiters and waitresses wear era-inspired clothing.

Drinks are top notch. You can’t miss this place.

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Tiffany’s On the Corner
$$ • Breakfast
[Address]
★★★★ 12/30/2012

After a busy night, my date and I needed some mornin’ grub. She wanted omelets; I wanted French toast. We settled on this place after a quick yelp scan.

Blue velvet pancakes? Have you heard of such a monstrocity? Turns out they have red velvet pancakes too.

We abandoned our original desires and both ordered the blue velvet pancake combo with hash browns, 2 eggs any style, and 2 slices of bacon or sausage. I didn’t find the pancakes to be any different from their red counterpart, but my friend said that she could taste a faint trace of blueberries. I think she was tasting the mimosa or that blueberry beer from last night.

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The Blues Shack
$ • Cajun, Seafood
[Address]
★★★★★ 1/14/2013

Once upon a time there was a tiny shrimp po’ boy.

He swam deep into the sea, past the scuttle fish and the clams, past even the oysters or the baby turtles still finding their sea legs.

He is the star of the sandwich; he is a noble, brave – and perhaps grave – hero.

But the real star is the simple French loaf. The poor dough gets beaten up every day, kneaded, pounded relentlessly. But one day he rose, alive, ready to do his duty. One day, they met.

And the humble bread knew that he wanted to be with the shrimp for life. The two joined forces.
They crushed that oyster sandwich. They usurped that beer-battered, deep-fried beastling. Together, they were invincible. Together, they were complete.

The end.

Edit: 1/15/2013 This piece is a work is fiction. The food was delicious. And I am not calling any certain person a fish or a piece of bread. 9/10 recommended.


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Moon Chips
$$ • Bakery, Cookies
[Address]
★★★★★ 4/22/2013

This place had a groupon deal and with my coupon I bought a dozen cookies for $5, plus a frozen hot chocolate for my girlfriend.

Go back to Willy Wonka’s frackin factory and demand your damn refund! Cookie Monster would be proud! O_O

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Stirring the Pot
$$ • Chinese, Hot Pot
[Address]
★★★ ½ 5/10/2013

My girlfriend treated me for my birthday. I never tried Chinese Hot Pot, but I have tried shabu shabu before, and this is somewhat similar. When you first enter, you’re olfactory senses blaze in alarm. You’re hit with eastern smells and spices and incense. Unlike most Chinese restaurants I’ve been too, this place has electric counters at each table.

Ordering is tricky for newcomers. Like most reviewers have said, the food they serve is AYCE but, and this is where it gets tricky, you’re supposed to order in rounds. If you look at the menu, there is a listing of different items: different meats, veggies, seafood, and other stuff. You’re supposed to order what you want to eat. There are also different types of broth and you can order up to two.

My girlfriend and I got the house special and the miso.
We were content with a mishmash of rib eye meat, enoki mushrooms, oyster mushrooms, baby bok choy, spinach, fish cake, sponge tofu, quail eggs, and scallops. My girlfriend also wanted fried wontons.

You’re give this giant, steaming bowl of soup, and the waiter turns on the stove. Then all at once they deliver your raw food. If you’ve never had a hot pot before, the premise is this: you basically cook your food in a pot of soup and take the items out when you want to eat it.

But, how do you know if your food is ready? You can ask the waiters or waitresses, but they’re a little hard to understand. Instead, check the side of the your table, near the soy sauce and other condiments. They have instructions on each table about the cooking times for your food.

It was $22.99 per person, and I think it was worth it even though we only lasted two rounds. They must have had some kind of promotion or the qilin must have come and blessed our food because they gave us a $5 off coupon for the next time we visit.

Or they must think we’re like that frog in hot water. We’re already boiling in their soup!

Afterwards, you come out smelling like the place. And you eat so much you feel like going to the gym afterwards. But it was still worth it.

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Ganbatte Fitness
Gyms, Trainers, Martial Arts
[Address]
★★★★ 7/16/2013

Eat hard. Play hard. Gotta look right for the lady.

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Moving Forward Movers
Movers
[Address]
★★★ 7/26/2013

Five stars. No complaints.

Edit: 1/27/2015
Downgraded to three stars because they broke some electronic equipment and scratched some stuff.

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Kekoa’s Place
$$ • Hawaiian
[Address]
★★★ 6/19/2013

We were craving Hawaiian and this was the only place close by.

Tips:
-Try the spam musubi

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Benny’s Seafood Grill
$$$ • Seafood
[Address]
★ 9/23/2013

My girlfriend and I took a daytrip down the coast and as we walked down the pier, we entered this little establishment.

There are two words you don’t want to see together: food + poisoning. My girlfriend and I had a date at this place and they had some oysters on the half rack on their happy hour menu. They tasted fine. Didn’t have a fishy smell, but they were a bit slimier than I was used to and slipped down my throat leaving a trail of oyster glop as if they were bread crumbs, ready to scale their way back out.

And short story is that’s what happened.

I ate about five of them and got a Corona (a bucket of beer for $25). My girlfriend got a shrimp po’ boy and we ate it on their lounge.

About an hour later, I had to use their restroom and stayed there for a good twenty minutes. We ended up canceling our date night and I stayed home making gross love to my toilet while my girlfriend halfheartedly laughed, watching both me and Orange is the New Black.

And I bet prison food would have tasted better.

Good deals, but bad experience. Would not recommend. I’d give it zero stars if I could.

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Spoon and Syrup
$ • Desserts, Ice Cream & Frozen Yogurt, Coffee & Tea
[Address]
★★★★ 12/7/2013

-Tasty
-Has shaved ice too
-Check in and you get a free topping or flavored cone

I guess their ice cream is dog friendly because the owner gave some person’s dog a free cup of vanilla.

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[b]Word Life[b/]
$$ • Bookstores
[Address]
★★★ 1/3/2014

It looks like a tornado hit this place. Books are scattered all over the place. And I like cats, but this place was infested with them. I couldn’t tell what was worst, the dusty book smell or the cats.

The store owner kept looking at me and I felt like I couldn’t find a book in piece. What’s worse is that they don’t even alphabetize their fiction.

Hey man, I’m just trying to find the self-help section, not the porn section!

There’s another worker there, this younger man, who ogles all the women in the store. He doesn’t even offer to help grab a book. They stand on the ladder themselves and the old man has to help them.

He has them stand on the ladder themselves. Even the old man offers to help them.

Of course my girlfriend didn’t notice this. She was too busy ogling Crabby, their fat orange cat that lingers around the shop.

Other than that it was an okay selection. And the prices were cheap.

Maybe I’d come again.

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Touching Noses – Cat Café
$$ • Coffee & Tea, Animal Shelter
[Address]
[3 check-ins]
★★★★ 2/13/2014

The word has been taken over by cats! Better cats than zombies, I always say. A few years ago, San Francisco opened its very first cat café, and it was all over the news. Patrons lined up outside for hours, signing check-in sheets for certain hours of the day, waiting as if they were inside the DMV. Most of the spotlight on TN has ended, and after a continuous onslaught of begging and pleading, I finally accompanied my girlfriend here.

She wasn’t disappointed. She was practically rolling around the floor and grabbing each cat that didn’t come to her.

At a cat café patrons are able to enjoy drinks and play with the ferocious felines at the same time in the same room. This place serves as an adoption center too. If you like the cat you played with you can adopt him or her.

Most of the cats are sleeping, but the kittens are hyperactive furballs. Each one of them distracts you long enough that your drink gets cold. Then, they try to eat your cake.

Being a café, you’d expect that they have good drinks, but unfortunately, their repertoire isn’t great. The drinks are okay, sometimes watery. I also feel like they’re mostly concerned with the cats, not the drinks.

My girlfriend had fun, so it was enjoyable. We almost adopted a cat too.

Edit: 2/2/2015
If you liked a certain cat, adopt them fast. Someone will probably swoop them away if you hesitate. : (

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Simply Italian
$$ • Italian
[Address]
★ 4/23/2014

Skip this place. Horrible, lazy staff. And the food was pretty crappy. Spaghetti and meatballs were made of tofu. Tofu! Yeah, that’s ‘simply Italian’, all right. And they were extremely spicy. I did not want my meatballs to taste like tofu, but the owner complained that that’s what Italian food tastes like, telling me to take the next plane out of here and off to Naples.

Well, I’m sure that’ll solve everything! Clearly, I was in the wrong! Clearly! They must know their Italian Food!

Finally, after I had left, a few days later, something was up with my credit card. I don’t want ot point fingers, but I’m about 100% sure this place stole my credit card information. And when I called them about it, they denied everything. Would not recommend.

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Comment from Jon J. of Simply Italian
Business Owner

4/24/2014 • This man and his party came in arguing the moment they entered, and they did not stop during the dinner service. Their rude attitude didn’t desist as they even started arguing with us about the spiciness of the pasta. If you’re allergic to spicy, then don’t eat it! Also, we did not steal his credit card information as he paid in cash. Go eat and argue elsewhere! Would not want your business anyways. Ciao! #WeDoNotNegotiateWithYelpers

Falafel Stop
$• Falafel, Vegan
[Address]
★★★½ 6/28/2014

They only sell falafels. Who knew chickpeas tasted so good?

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Chilled to the Bone
$ • Ice Cream & Frozen Yogurt
[Address]
★ 7/30/2014

Ice cream is tasteless and overpriced. I’ve eaten ice cubes more satisfying than this.

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Mario's 39
[Address]
$$ • Pizza, Italian
★★★★★ 11/2/2014

This is a make-it-your-way pizzeria. Unlike other places which only do pizza, this place also does pasta.

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Fizz and Sizzle
$$$$ • American (New)
[Address]
★★★★★ 1/15/2015

My anniversary was here. My girlfriend and I were arguing, but not about the food. The staff were absolutely wonderful and attentive. The food was divine.

I got a New York Strip. Succulent, savory, I hate clichés but this was Heaven on a plate.

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Echo’s Edge State Park
Parks, Hiking
[Address]
★★★★ 1/20/2015
I sometimes go jogging on these mountains. The views are amazing. If you hike up for about forty minutes, there’s a vista point. You can see the sun setting over the mountain tops, and, especially if it rains, you can chance upon a dynamo of colors, shaping and shifting as if it were a Mai Tai cocktail – kind of like the one I’m drinking right now. Reds and oranges. A splash of blue with a hibiscus floating on top. Mine is actually sunk in.

The vista is great spot for proposals.

Just make sure she says yes.

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Triple Diamond Jewelry
$$$$ • Jewelry, Jewelry Repair, Watches
[Address]
★★★★★ 1/23/2015

Their return policy is 60 days.

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Portal-Portral Coffee Company
$ • Coffee & Tea
[Address]
★★ 4/2/2015

I needed to find another coffee spot and found this place. It’s mediocre. Not unlike Starbucks with fancy, flattened chairs and sofa. And speaking of flat, the flat white tastes flatter and blander than a cracker.

Free parking in the lot near Rite Aid.

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New Grounds Animal Shelter Pound
Animal Shelters
[Address]
★★★★ 5/20/2015

New Grounds is a pound. Unlike other animal shelters this one seems cleaner and smells better. Forget the pet stores and adopt a pet.

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Lily & Oak’s Cremation Services
Funeral Services & Cemeteries
[Address]
★★★★★ 7/21/2015

Cemeteries are always eerie. Memories are flogged with dead things, people who have passed, moments that are lost in time.

A friend I hadn’t spoken to in a long time asked me to review this place. I was hesitant, her father passed and I was invited to attend. It must be an extremely difficult job to constantly deal with those who are in mourning. Lily & Oak’s were extremely helpful to my friend. They were very serviceable, very cordial, very efficient. They helped her through all the steps of her father’s passing, before his cremation and after, with his urn. The dead bring many memories, many feelings out in the open.

Can the dead bring the living together again?

I don’t know the answer to that question, but I hope it does.

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Broken Cup Café
$ • Coffee & Tea
[Address]
★★★★★ 12/27/2015

What a fitting name for a coffee shop. Sometimes things happen in life that are too coincidental.

At the corner of the room there was a mom and her son. The son was playing around with something and knocked the cup over. The hot chocolate splattered on the floor, and some of it ended up spilling on him. They ordered it a while ago, so it probably wasn’t hot anymore.

A staff person promptly swept and mopped the mess. The couple behind me sniggered about "irony".

The boy looked like he was about to cry, and the mom dropped to his eye level, gently patting his head while wiping his shirt.

"Hey now," she cooed. "It’s alright. It’s just an accident."

They boy was probably worried about the broken cup. I think the phrase "You break it, you buy it" comes to mind, but this is a simple coffee shop. The boy let a few tears spill out, but afterwards, he was fine.

Optimism is a strange thing.

Maybe this world is broken. Maybe our dreams are broken, and that in turn makes us broken.

But we can at least help each other, can’t we?

This is a small little open coffee shop next to the pier. It’s small but spacious. In case your party won’t speak here are thousands of other things to note outside. Through the windows, you can spot the surfers scaling the liquid walls, and you can watch the waves embracing the shores, making foamy puzzles in the sand. The windows tops are only covered with a tarp, so a draft continuously enters the room from above.

What’s also nice is that the staff won’t bother you even if you ordered only one cup of coffee. So you can sit there and listen as your friend spills out all her feelings and fears, her worries and anxieties about the future. You can sit and listen and be there for her, just as you know she would be there for you.

They won’t bother the both of you as you address that elephant in the room.

"Why did you let go?"

If you waited long enough, you’ll get your answer. She’ll talk about losing that prominent figure in her life; the one who ruined things for her. The one she can’t let go of. She tell you all these things she hid because she didn’t want you to know; she didn’t want to break like that coffee cup, even though she knew that she had probably already broke a long time ago.

Maybe it was just timing. Maybe she just needed to let go of this first.


Edit: 1/3/2016
The patio is dog friendly.

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Stellar Coffee
$ • Desserts, Coffee & Tea
[Address]
★★★★★ 1/6/2016

This establishment just recently opened and right now, it's still in its soft opening.

My on and off girlfriend and I had a vanilla latte and a mocha, respectively, but the main reason we tried this place is because there's a pet store nearby and we needed to pick up some treats for our cat and dog.

If you're looking for the shop, it's hard to spot this place from the street. They have a wooden sign with a coffee cup tilted on its side. My girlfriend likes to say that their cup is half empty. I say that it's full. Doesn't really matter anyways - and just a note, they use half and half milk, not whole milk or 2%. No other flavors too.

Do you believe in fate? Half full, half empty. Again, it doesn't matter. But I do like to take my drinks one sip at a time. I think it's better that way. And I think, now, she thinks so as well.

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