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Famous Last Words · FiM Minific ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 400–750
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Caped Crusaders
Apple Bloom flipped her cape, letting the photos capture the crusaders emblem in her jumpsuit. Trying to Ignore how Scootaloo was grinning like a maniac at every flash, she pointed at a mare in the small audience, the light pink one with a matching pink fedora. “Your turn.”

The mare lifted a pen with her magic. “Are you happy with the upcoming comic, the one with the Crusaders as superheroes, dears?”

“Darn tootin’! Uh, not that we needed it or anything,” Apple Bloom hastily added.

“Yes.” Sweetie Belle chuckled. “We might be grown ups now, but our sisters would still give us an earful if we ever demanded fame.” Amid the resulting laughter she pointed at a red mare balancing a notebook on her leg. “You may go.”

“How ‘bout fame? Is it hard dealin’ with fans screamin’ like banshees everywhere you go?”

“Not really.” Scootaloo took a step forward, now that the green and brown pegasi duo had stopped their photo barrage. “I mean, it does get tiresome at times, but in the end it’s cool how everypony likes us.” She eyed a gray mare in an overcoat desperately jumping and waving her hooves. “You.”

“Is it fun fighting crime? I bet it’s like a party everyday!”

“Eeyup,” said Apple Bloom. “Doing it together, like when we were crusading for our cutie marks makes it even more fun.” She pointed at a tall bespectacled blue mare. “You go.”

“What do you enjoy the most in fighting villains?”

“Helping other ponies.” “The action!” “Makin’ our sisters proud.”

The three crusaders looked at each other, eyes shifting between their companions and the audience.

“Just a sec,” announced Apple Bloom, drawing the other two into a huddle.

After a few seconds they broke the huddle, shouting as one, “The silly one-liners!”

“One-liners?” The tall mare furrowed her brow.

“Totally!” Sweetie Belle’s horn sparkled as she continued, “like, ‘My plan is perfect, there is no way you could win’; boy, Fire Fiend is such a joke!”

“Oh, and Shield Master? ‘My force field is impenetrable!’” Scootaloo’s knees gave up under her laughter. “His face when we pointed our diamond dog allies was priceless!”

“What about Cluemare? She had me tied and started goin’ on and on about how she would defeat us! She was still talkin’ when Scootaloo clubbed her with her scooter!” said Apple Bloom, patting Scootaloo on the shoulder.

“You mean,” the tall mare touched the pen to her glasses, “like the old villains, such as Discord, Nightmare Moon, and Chrysalis?”

“Kinda.” Apple Bloom scratched her chin. “The new villains are, like…”

“The old ones would at least wait until they had almost beaten the heroes before bragging.” Sweetie Belle inhaled. “The new ones —”

The ceiling gave an eerie shriek, metal and wood ripping apart like paper and sticks, as nearly half of the roof was torn away. Above the hole, his red and purple figure silhouetted against the full moon, hovered a fully armored pegasus, a floating staff covered in grievous symbols glowing at his side. “Tremble, commoners! For with you nosy reporters as hostages, Lord Tempest will finally defeat the Crusaders! … Wait, why is nopony panicking?”

“Are like that,” finished Sweetie Belle, rolling her eyes.

Around the room overcoats and hats were being removed (or put on, in the case of a particular stetson), and magically altered coats were returning to the hues that became known as the Harmony Rainbow: white, pink, blue, purple, orange, and yellow.

Lord Tempest, sweating, looked down at the assembled legends, both old and new. His breathing quickening, he started to hover back, out of the hole he had ripped on the hall’s roof. Bumping into something, he slowly turned around; the yellow and blue pegasi from inside had left through a window and were now blocking his escape route. Or, rather, the blue pegasus was blocking his route, while the yellow one hided behind, but the flock of eagles behind them more than made up for any such shyness.

His frantic eyes darted back to the hall he had cracked open, settling on the terrifying visage of Princess Twilight; few beings in all of Equestria could keep their calm when faced with an angry allicorn, mane aflame, eyes and horn glowing like shooting stars. Swallowing hard, he did the only sensible thing.

“Uh, can I surrender?”
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