“Hi there, everypony! I’m Pinkie Pie!”

“And, uh, I’m Scootaloo!”

“Scootaloo, huh? I guess that makes sense. I see you around a lot, scooting around on your scooter. Scoot scoot!”

“Yeah, hehe. And you’re, uh Pinkie Pie. You’re pink and you bake pies?”

“Not just pies, but cakes, and cookies, and croissants, and bread, and donuts, and souffles, and…”

Scootaloo groaned, slumping her head down to the ground. “This isn’t going to work, Pinkie Pie. I don’t think I’m cut out for getting a cutie mark in stand-up comedy.”

Pinkie Pie giggled. “That’s okay. If it’s not your thing, it’s not your thing! But I’m having fun, aren’t you?”

“I dunno.” Scootaloo sighed, sitting back on her haunches. “I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be saying. You’re really hard to keep up with, you know?”

“Yeah, I get that a lot,” Pinkie Pie said, rubbing at the back of her head with a hoof. “I could slow it down for you a bit! Ooh, I’ll make cue cards!”

“Cue cards, seriously?” Scootaloo shook her head. “It still feels weird trying to get a cutie mark when Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle are out of town.”

“All the better then!” Pinkie Pie said, already furiously scribbling on a stack of cardboard. “Your cutie mark probably isn’t in comedy, but your friends aren’t around, and I know Rainbow Dash is busy. What else do you have to do? Let’s have some fun!”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Okay, okay, I’ll give it another try. What do you think I’m doing wrong?”

Pinkie Pie threw her foreleg over Scootaloo’s shoulder, gesturing across the empty auditorium before them. “Kid, this type of comedy is all about the retort! It’s my job to say something silly, which, believe me, is super tough, and then your job is to shoot it down for being too impossible with some grade A snark! I see you fire off some good one-liners with your friends all the time, so just think of it like that!”

“You mean you just want me to be a smarta—”

“-ankle!” Pinkie Pie finished, beaming.

“... A smart-ankle? The term is smart-alec. I don’t know what a smart-ankle would be, but I can only imagine Discord being involved somehow, and nopony wants that.”

“See, that was perfect!” Pinkie Pie shouted, grabbing Scootaloo and shaking her up and down.

“Really?” Scootaloo asked as she tried to hide a growing smile. “That’s it?”

“Yepper depper! I’ll go nice and slow for you, no worries.”

“Alright, I guess I’ll give it another shot.“



“Hello everypony! I’m Pinkie Pie.”

“Yo. I’m Scootaloo.”

“Hey, Scootaloo, you’re a big fan of Rainbow Dash, right?”

“Are you kidding? You’re like, her best friend, you know exactly how awesome she is!”

“I see, I see. How do you feel about rainbows?”

“Like, the colors?”

“Yeah, fresh from Cloudsdale!”

“They’re alright.”

“How about dashing? You’re always dashing around on your scooter, right?”

“Well, I try my best.”

“So if Rainbow Dash dashes through a rainbow and spills rainbow all over a dashing Scootaloo, who’s the better Rainbow Dash?”

“Uh…”

Scootaloo stared straight ahead, her mouth working soundlessly as she wracked her brain for a good response.

Pinkie Pie smiled, holding up a cue card with a premade response written on it.

“There’s, uh, more to Rainbow Dash than rainbows and dashing, Pinkie Pie!”

“Oh? Like what?”

“She’s got a lot of talents, and interests, and general awesomeness that make her a well rounded individual.”

“Name one thing that isn’t already covered by rainbows or dashing!”

“Well, she’s also blue!”



“Thank you very much everypony, goodnight!”

The pair bowed to their non-existent audience, and Scootaloo sighed, sitting down and wiping the sweat off her brow.

“That was a lot of fun! You did great, Scootaloo!” Pinkie Pie said, wrapping the filly in a tight hug.

Scootaloo blushed, then checked her flank just in case. “Still no cutie mark. Oh well.”

Pinkie Pie grinned, giving Scootaloo a quick noogie. ‘You’ve got a knack for it though. With practice, I bet you could be up there with some of the greats like Ponyacci!”

“Yeah yeah,” Scootaloo said, pushing Pinkie Pie off of her . “I don’t think I’ll go that far, but it was a lot of fun. Thanks Pinkie.”

“Even without a cutie mark?”

“Yeah.”