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The Next Viral Ad
“Wish me luck,” said a carolina blue stallion as he stood outside an artichoke green office building in downtown Manehatten. Static Chart was getting ready to apply for a new job in advertising.
“Please,” said Scatter Plot, an orange stallion with striking black hair. “You were born to do this job.
“That is all well and good,” replied Static, “But statistics prove that a little luck goes a long way. So again I say wish me luck.”
“Fine. I bestow you with my wish for good fortune. See you at dinner!” Static simply nodded and strolled into the building and Scatter Plot trotted down a few blocks to reach his workplace.
Static Chart didn’t come to dinner. He didn’t even call to say he was canceling. “Ugh! He didn’t again didn’t he?” Scatter thought back to last job Static got where he went out drinking with all his workmates. He wearily walked to the couch by the window of his condo and opened the blinds revealing a giant billboard with a picture of Coco Pommel on it. It was an advertisement for cheese fritz and it said “Fabulous” in giant blue text.
Nethertheless, Scatter gave up and turned on his tv to the movie “Bad Mares” and fell asleep.
Ok, now Scatter was annoyed. It’s been two week and he had had no contact with Static. However, Static replaced Coco on the billboard that now read “Mmmmm, Chewy!” Scatter had a hard time thinking of a good reason for a new marketing employee to be on a billboard. He wasn’t a model. Anyway, he was going to check in at Static’s workplace and get to the bottom of this.
“Well, it looks like a normal enough office building.” For whatever reason the artichoke building was beginning to scare him. “Wish me luck,” he said to no one in particular. He held his breath as he stepped through the automatic doors…
“Hello,” said a friendly mare’s voice. “How may I help you today?”
Scatter looked at the gray mare with a clipboard cutie mark and smiled. “My friend recently got a job here and he forgot his coffee this morning,” he said holding up the Cadenzabucks coffee he bought.
“Oh, you’re friends with…” She looked down to check a list of names. “Static Chart right? In that case head through those double gray doors and head up to the 3rd floor.”
Scatter did as he was told, glad that his plan was working out. He walked past the doors, down a gray hallway, and slid into an elevator. He pressed the three button with his hoof, and immediately began feeling woozy. The last thing he saw was a tranquilizer dart in his flank.
Scatter Plot woke up, but that didn’t mean he could move. He was chained against some metal platform. His face was botoxed into a painfully large smile. To his left he saw a mirror. It would be obvious to any passerby that this was marketing plant because he looked remarkable, almost as if they were shooting a picture of him for an advertisement…
Color drained from Scatter’s orange face. “It’s okay,” called a new voice as a Stallion in a white coat and glasses entered his field of vision. “Don’t you want to be a star?”
Scatter tried to shake his head no.
“You can talk you know,” said the doctor while he rolled his eyes. “How else are you going to give us a quote?”
“What quote?”
“I’m gonna give you some cheese fritz and it will be your job to give us a quote. It’s that simple.”
“What if…” He couldn’t finish that sentence as cheese fritz were shoved inside his mouth. “Those are terrible!”
“Now, now. We need something positive.” He pressed a button and more fritz entered Scatter’s mouth.
“I think cheese is pouring out my eyeballs!”
“Closer, but that could be a bad thing. Look, you’re really not good at this whole marketing thing are you.”
Scatter glared at the doctor, then made one last attempt at a slogan. “Purely cheese.”
“Perfect,” said the doctor. “Although I can’t let you leave. You’re going deep underground to be with your friend until we have more use for you. Also, good thing I know you like cheese fritz, because that’s the only thing you’ll be eating for the next… fifty years.”
Scatter tried to scream, but couldn’t as more fritz fell into his mouth and he was wheeled away.
“Please,” said Scatter Plot, an orange stallion with striking black hair. “You were born to do this job.
“That is all well and good,” replied Static, “But statistics prove that a little luck goes a long way. So again I say wish me luck.”
“Fine. I bestow you with my wish for good fortune. See you at dinner!” Static simply nodded and strolled into the building and Scatter Plot trotted down a few blocks to reach his workplace.
Static Chart didn’t come to dinner. He didn’t even call to say he was canceling. “Ugh! He didn’t again didn’t he?” Scatter thought back to last job Static got where he went out drinking with all his workmates. He wearily walked to the couch by the window of his condo and opened the blinds revealing a giant billboard with a picture of Coco Pommel on it. It was an advertisement for cheese fritz and it said “Fabulous” in giant blue text.
Nethertheless, Scatter gave up and turned on his tv to the movie “Bad Mares” and fell asleep.
Ok, now Scatter was annoyed. It’s been two week and he had had no contact with Static. However, Static replaced Coco on the billboard that now read “Mmmmm, Chewy!” Scatter had a hard time thinking of a good reason for a new marketing employee to be on a billboard. He wasn’t a model. Anyway, he was going to check in at Static’s workplace and get to the bottom of this.
“Well, it looks like a normal enough office building.” For whatever reason the artichoke building was beginning to scare him. “Wish me luck,” he said to no one in particular. He held his breath as he stepped through the automatic doors…
“Hello,” said a friendly mare’s voice. “How may I help you today?”
Scatter looked at the gray mare with a clipboard cutie mark and smiled. “My friend recently got a job here and he forgot his coffee this morning,” he said holding up the Cadenzabucks coffee he bought.
“Oh, you’re friends with…” She looked down to check a list of names. “Static Chart right? In that case head through those double gray doors and head up to the 3rd floor.”
Scatter did as he was told, glad that his plan was working out. He walked past the doors, down a gray hallway, and slid into an elevator. He pressed the three button with his hoof, and immediately began feeling woozy. The last thing he saw was a tranquilizer dart in his flank.
Scatter Plot woke up, but that didn’t mean he could move. He was chained against some metal platform. His face was botoxed into a painfully large smile. To his left he saw a mirror. It would be obvious to any passerby that this was marketing plant because he looked remarkable, almost as if they were shooting a picture of him for an advertisement…
Color drained from Scatter’s orange face. “It’s okay,” called a new voice as a Stallion in a white coat and glasses entered his field of vision. “Don’t you want to be a star?”
Scatter tried to shake his head no.
“You can talk you know,” said the doctor while he rolled his eyes. “How else are you going to give us a quote?”
“What quote?”
“I’m gonna give you some cheese fritz and it will be your job to give us a quote. It’s that simple.”
“What if…” He couldn’t finish that sentence as cheese fritz were shoved inside his mouth. “Those are terrible!”
“Now, now. We need something positive.” He pressed a button and more fritz entered Scatter’s mouth.
“I think cheese is pouring out my eyeballs!”
“Closer, but that could be a bad thing. Look, you’re really not good at this whole marketing thing are you.”
Scatter glared at the doctor, then made one last attempt at a slogan. “Purely cheese.”
“Perfect,” said the doctor. “Although I can’t let you leave. You’re going deep underground to be with your friend until we have more use for you. Also, good thing I know you like cheese fritz, because that’s the only thing you’ll be eating for the next… fifty years.”
Scatter tried to scream, but couldn’t as more fritz fell into his mouth and he was wheeled away.