"The Great and Powerful Trixie is getting a cramp, Sparkle," Trixie groused, extracting her hoof from between a sack of potatoes and an alicorn wing. "When can we leave this accursed crate?"

Twilight's horn illuminated the inside of the box. "We have to stay vigilant, Trixie." She grunted and shifted slightly. "The perytons are getting those apples, or my name isn't Princess Twilight Lanamore Sparkle!"

"Lana-what?"

Twilight's light dimmed. "Nevermind. The point is, the Dread Pirate Wormbeard could strike at any time and we're the only chance of saving this shipment from him!"

Trixie clucked her tongue. "Trixie does not recall signing up for any such duty."

Twilight glowered at her. It was lost in the darkness. "You signed yourself up when you stowed away on the S.S. Merryflower."

Trixie shoved her. It was not a hard shove, given their confines. "Says the stowaway princess!"

"I am incognito. You are breaking the law." Twilight huffed. "The fact that, should either of us be discovered, we will both be in trouble has nothing to do with it."

There was a pause.

"You mean the captain of this ship doesn't know you're here?" Trixie's shock was palpable.

"What part of 'incognito' don't you understand?" Twilight snorted. "Now quiet. There's going to be a cargo hold inspection in less than five minutes, if my calculation is correct."

It was. They held their breaths as hooves passed by the crate. Luckily, the crewponies didn't examine it any closer.

They stayed quiet for a while after that, the gentle rocking of the sea and groaning of timbers their only companions. Then Twilight spoke up.

"Trixie, why are you here?"

Trixie turned once more, thrusting her horn into Twilight's face.

"What does it matter? Trixie is both a stowaway and captive to your ridiculous pirate-fighting schemes." Under her breath, she added, "S-stupid Sparkle..."

"What was that?"

"Trixie said she thinks you and your plans are dumb, so there."

She attempted to turn her head haughtily away from the very wrong and not-at-all-sexy Princess Twilight, but the ship rocked and they jostled together.

"Trixie," Twilight spluttered, "your hoof is in an indecent spot!"

"W-well it's not like Trixie wanted to touch you there."

"Please, just control your libido for once."

"What?" Trixie's jaw hung open as she scrambled off her unwilling seat. "The Great and Powerful Trixie is not libidinous."

Twilight rolled her eyes audibly. "Please. Everypony knows you're hot for my royal flank."

"Wh-what?"

Something shifted, pressing up against Trixie's side. Her face flushed.

"Honestly, I think it's kind of cute." Twilight's voice was close to her ear. "I mean, you're so headstrong and standoffish, but you've got a crush on me even after I made a fool of you twice?"

"D-don't rub it in."

Twilight giggled. "I'd be willing to give you a try once all this is done."

Trixie whimpered at the word 'try'. Her mouth went dry. Something was searching for her in the darkness, groping up her neck. The hoof stopped at her jaw and pulled her head close...

A boom resounded in the distance. The intimate embrace turned into Twilight thrusting Trixie's head to the floor. A second later, an eight-pound ball of iron flew in through one side of the ship, into the cargo hold, over their heads through the box they were stowed in and, turning downward, exited through the keel of the ship. It immediately began sinking.

"Yar-ha-harr!" laughed Wormbeard, Dread Pirate, Esq., from his ship the Luna's Revenge, two cables upwind from the Merryflower. He danced a jig, his peg leg clomping against the mizzenmast as he watched the cutter sink below the waves. "I sunk yer ship, ye lollygaggin' scalawags! Lollawags? Yarr!"

After a few minutes, the flotsam had risen to the top of the waves, survivors clinging to lifeboats and spars, Trixie among the latter.

"Great," she sputtered, blowing her mane out of her face. "Now how will Trixie get home?"

"You can always swim for it," said a playful voice behind her. She turned her head only to be slapped in the face by a lavender fish tail. Trixie scowled.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie will not be party to base transformation spells."

Twilight waved a hoof at her. "Fine. Climb aboard then."

Trixie straddling Twilight's back, grimacing at the fishy texture of the wet scales. "Trixie does not like you anymore," she groused.

"And we haven't even gone on a date yet!" Twilight said, pouting.

"Just swim for it, Princess Fish."