I stood upon a bridge of this strange coarse but uninterrupted stone. Humans of white, beige and coffee color walked amongst themselves below me. It was interesting, seeing them going about their business, unheeding of my presence. They were so unaware as I stood there upon my two hoo—I mean, feet! Yes, feet. I have feet. So, anyway. The humans were oblivious as I stood on my two feet, watching.

Why was I watching them? Well, it was just that humans are so fascinating. They didn’t control the weather, though their books kept claiming about this “Soviet Union” controlling weather with light beams… like how did they even do that? They didn’t even have magic! They didn’t have horns! … Not that I knew of any magic, I totally didn’t have a horn under the fedora I was wearing.

The human city was called Ohay— Ohio… Wait, no. That was the… state? This kingdom was so confusing, they have so many provinces! Like fifty of them! How did they even keep track of anything? I was sure their nobles would be running ragged daily, trying to administer their estates.

Oh! The city’s name was Columbus. That was a weird way spelling Cumulonimbus… or did Columbus had anything to do with clouds? Well, it didn’t matter. A female human, a white one in a black body hugging sleeveless dress and leggings just ran past me, casting a weird look at me. I am a human! Stop casting weird looks at me. Yes, I have a peach colored skin, it wasn’t a fur coat! And my plum colored man— hair was all-natural! I didn’t even have a tail under the tan greatcoat I was wearing!

Anyway, the human jogged away on her two covered feet, perfectly balanced somehow without a tail, her teats bouncing with each step. I still didn’t understand why did their teats hung off their chest instead of somewhere sensible? Like somewhere between the back legs. Like mine. But that was why humans were so interesting! They were so different!

So, the humans also have these self-moving carriages. They were like our carriages but they have these puttering boxes that the humans feed a foul smelling oil to so it could keep puttering and somehow move the carriages. They were so convenient! Unlike the stallions who would keep making small talk and trying to hit on me. I could have peace and quiet while I went from Manehatten to Fillydelphia and back!

A faint shout caught my ear. I turned my head in the direction my ear twitched to and there was the white female human and another white one, a male. He wore a blue uniform like the ones in Manehatten, complete with a peaked cap. The female had a frown on her face, as if my presence was an affront to her sensibility. Like I said repeatedly, I am a perfectly normal human! I wasn’t a disguised pony!

The male, though, had a curious look on his face. He walked in my direction slowly. As though I was some dangerous creature. I am a herbiv— a vegetarian! Not some teeth gnashing meat-eater! No offense to the humans, of course. They have to eat meat to survive. I understand.

“Are you lost, little one?” the male said, making some kind of clicking noise with his tongue.

Did… did the human just treat me like I was a dumb animal? My tail twitched in agitation. I snorted, dropping down to my hoo— feet. The human stopped.

“Whoa, hey… I’m not gonna hurtcha,” he said, smiling.

“Is there a problem, officer?” I asked, my voice dangerously low.

“Oh my god, it speaks!” the female blurted out.

I stomped a hoof— feet. “Of course, I do! I’m a perfectly normal human!”

The male looked torn between placating me and completely weirded out. “Uh… yes you are, um… young lady.”

I huffed.

The male took a step forward. “Now, w-would you mind coming with me to the station for a friendly chat? I need to ask you a few questions…”

A sudden chill descended upon me. I suddenly remembered that my laundry needed cooking.

“Oh… I’m so sorry officer, I have to um, iron my dog!” I laughed nervously, backing away.

“It’s just a short while, miss. I’m sure you can spare the time.”

And then the male lunged. I barely leapt away, the transdimension spell held in my horn fired.

And then I was back in Equestria.

To no regrets.