Hey! It looks like you're new here. You might want to check out the introduction.
Organised by
RogerDodger
Word limit
400–750
The Fabulous Flim Flam Fibrous Fertilizer Fic
“Now I know you ponies in Ponyville have little cause to trust.”
“We made a mess, and ran a debt, and our last cure was a bust.”
“But this time we did better!”
“This time it is the best!”
“Unlike our cure-all tonic, this will pass any test.”
“These fibrous little nuggets are our finest invention yet.”
“So new they’re old!”
“So crude they’re bold!”
“And better sold dry than wet!”
“You see folks, these marvelous little pellets are composed of everything that a plant needs. Phosphorous. Nitrogen. Carbon. And only trace amounts of undesirable compounds, far less than you’d find in your everyday run-of-the-mill fertilizer!”
“We guarantee that any plant fed with our product will grow up stronger and healthier than it would be without it!”
“Or any similar product, for that matter.”
“And our careful drying and aging process reduces many of the smells associated with locally produced fertilizer!”
“Yes, folks, that’s right! We take the stench away and bring the best part of it to you here in Ponyville!”
“This fertilizer has been produced all across Equestria, from Las Pegasus to Manehattan!”
“But thanks to our revolutionary transport, we can transport the base product at virtually no cost!”
“They practically give us the raw materials!”
“And we pass these savings onto you!”
“So who wants to be the first to ensure that their garden grows to be the envy of their neighbors?”
“Because I can assure you, whoever is last will be coming here with their tail between their legs.”
“That’s right, we’ve seen it in every town.”
“Two bits a bag, five bits a barrel.”
“At prices like that, it is practically a steal!”
“Though not actually a steal. That would be a violation of the terms of our probation.”
“Indeed.”
“So who wants to be the first? The first pony to buy ten bags will get one free!”
“So what do you think, Applejack?” Twilight asked as the pair of ponies walked slowly away from Flim and Flam’s huge tent, carefully keeping upwind of the unicorn twins’ product.
Applejack shook her head. “I don’t rightly know, Twilight. I know for a fact that stuff’ll grow trees as well as anything.”
Twilight nodded her head slowly. “It does seem legitimate this time around. Maybe they’ve finally learned from their mistakes.”
“Maybe.” Applejack sighed. “Still, I just can’t shake the feelin’ that it’s all one big load of shit.”
“We made a mess, and ran a debt, and our last cure was a bust.”
“But this time we did better!”
“This time it is the best!”
“Unlike our cure-all tonic, this will pass any test.”
“These fibrous little nuggets are our finest invention yet.”
“So new they’re old!”
“So crude they’re bold!”
“And better sold dry than wet!”
“You see folks, these marvelous little pellets are composed of everything that a plant needs. Phosphorous. Nitrogen. Carbon. And only trace amounts of undesirable compounds, far less than you’d find in your everyday run-of-the-mill fertilizer!”
“We guarantee that any plant fed with our product will grow up stronger and healthier than it would be without it!”
“Or any similar product, for that matter.”
“And our careful drying and aging process reduces many of the smells associated with locally produced fertilizer!”
“Yes, folks, that’s right! We take the stench away and bring the best part of it to you here in Ponyville!”
“This fertilizer has been produced all across Equestria, from Las Pegasus to Manehattan!”
“But thanks to our revolutionary transport, we can transport the base product at virtually no cost!”
“They practically give us the raw materials!”
“And we pass these savings onto you!”
“So who wants to be the first to ensure that their garden grows to be the envy of their neighbors?”
“Because I can assure you, whoever is last will be coming here with their tail between their legs.”
“That’s right, we’ve seen it in every town.”
“Two bits a bag, five bits a barrel.”
“At prices like that, it is practically a steal!”
“Though not actually a steal. That would be a violation of the terms of our probation.”
“Indeed.”
“So who wants to be the first? The first pony to buy ten bags will get one free!”
“So what do you think, Applejack?” Twilight asked as the pair of ponies walked slowly away from Flim and Flam’s huge tent, carefully keeping upwind of the unicorn twins’ product.
Applejack shook her head. “I don’t rightly know, Twilight. I know for a fact that stuff’ll grow trees as well as anything.”
Twilight nodded her head slowly. “It does seem legitimate this time around. Maybe they’ve finally learned from their mistakes.”
“Maybe.” Applejack sighed. “Still, I just can’t shake the feelin’ that it’s all one big load of shit.”