The wizard’s head shot off his pillow as he smiled to the rising sun. His purple robes and hat flew across the room to meet him as he leapt from his bed, dressing him in midair. He landed and struck a dramatic pose, his beard billowing in a breeze that was not actually there. Truly he was ready to take on any challenge that dared stand against him.

“Prepare yourself, world,” the wizard said proudly, “Starbeard the Swirly has arrived!”

---

Starswirl the Bearded emerged from his chambers and almost ran into the eager pony that had been waiting for him.

“Hello, Starbeard,” he grumbled.

“Good morning, brother!” Starbeard said far more enthusiastically than should be allowed so early in the day. “It is a beautiful day for magic!”

Starswirl mumbled something that might have been affirmative and proceeded down the hall. A mass of purple and grey blew past him.

“Come, brother!” Starbeard said with his hoof held high. “There are discoveries to be made and wonders to behold! They shall not wait for us forever!” He leapt through the open window and out into the world.

Starswirl shook his head and closed the window with his magic, silently chiding himself. It was his own fault for leaving that window open, after all.

At least they were only on the second floor today.

---

“I have an important assignment for you,” Starswirl said.

Starbeard shot a hoof into the air. “Then I shall carry out this task with the utmost diligence and efficacy!” He slumped slightly as he raised an eyebrow. “What is it?”

“The phoenices have congregated in the wooded area near the city and have claimed it as their nesting ground,” Starswirl explained. “As you know, a proper census must be kept of the phoenix population. Let us be grateful that their reproductive cycles are measured in centuries, lest they overrun the entire country.”

“Yes, of course,” Starbeard said, nodding, “but, why send me?”

“Phoenices are quite protective of their young, and even those with an affinity for animal care must be cautious.” Starswirl gave him a grave look. “As they are magical creatures, a wizard such as yourself is required to carry out this task.”

Starbeard nodded and took on an expression of solemnity. “Then I swear by the light of Celestia’s moustache, I shall not fail you!” He gazed off into the distance heroically.

“Starbeard,” Starswirl said flatly, “for the last time, Princess Celestia does not have a moustache.”

“She truly must consider my offer,” Starbeard said with a roll of his eyes. “Imagine it, brother: a prismatic moustache, flowing in the ethereal wind. It would be glorious!”

Starswirl merely shook his head.

“I’d offer one to Princess Luna as well, but I fear it would not stand out against her coat.”

“Yes,” Starswirl said obligingly, “it is the color of her coat that makes a moustache illogical.”

“I am glad you agree.” Starbeard turned to make his leave. “I shall return when I have completed my assignment.”

“Yes, very good, Starbeard.” Starswirl watched him leave and let out a breath.

That should buy him a few hours of peace.



Starswirl did not look up at the sound of the door to his study being opened. He kept his eyes trained on the parchment before him, a quill scribbling on the page in his golden magical grip, even as the hoofsteps coming from behind him drew closer.

Perhaps if he did not acknowledge the sound, it would spontaneously disappear and leave him be.

“Brother!” Starbeard shouted, almost directly into his ear. “I have returned!”

Starswirl’s quill stopped as his body clenched. “Welcome back, Starbeard.” His body slowly relaxed, and the quill resumed its writing.

“I am here to report that all of the newborn phoenixes—”

“‘Phoenices’.”

“Yes, all of the newborn phoenices have been counted, and the census has been updated accordingly.” Starbeard paused for a moment. “What is the proper term for a newborn phoenix?”

“A ‘nixling’,” Starswirl said, still not looking away from his paper. “Derived from the words ‘phoenix’ and ‘hatchling’.”

“Ahh.” Starbeard nodded to himself as he added the new word to his vocabulary. “If there are no other assignments, I shall be on my way.”

“Thank you, Starbeard.” His voice was gradually devolving into little more than frustrated grunts.

“And you shall be pleased to know that I have nearly put out all of the fires.”

“Yes, yes. Very good.”

Relieved to hear his door close behind him, Starswirl resumed his work at his previous pace. No spell before had been so challenging to figure out, but he continued undaunted. A spell of this magnitude could change the very course of history, and it was imperative that he—

His quill snapped.

“…‘Nearly’?”

---

Starbeard entered the observatory with a grand flourish, scorched in odd places, covered in copious amounts of soot, and smelling of ash.

Nothing out of the ordinary, so far.

“Evening, brother,” Starbeard said, attempting to dust himself off as he approached Starswirl. “I have good news! And bad news.”

Nothing out of the ordinary, indeed.

“What is the bad news?” Starswirl always asked for the bad news first.

“Unfortunately, manticore milk is not a suitable emulsifying agent for potioncraft. It is highly volatile and has a tendency to explode when subjected to high concentrations of unicorn magic.” Starbeard shook a cloud of ash loose from his beard. “Also, we are out of manticore milk.”

Starswirl sighed, but tried to keep his voice even. “And the good news?”

Starbeard immediately brightened. “The good news is I have successfully disproved Everflare’s Second Principle of Pyromancy. You can set fire on fire!”

---

“Starswirl!”

Starswirl turned at the sound of his name and saw Starbeard running up to him.

“What is it, Starbeard?” His eyes narrowed in annoyance. “I have been summoned by the Princesses to attend the peace conference with the griffon delegates, and I must not be late.”

“Yes, my apologies, brother,” Starbeard quickly said. “I merely wish to share my latest accomplishment with you. This will only take a moment.”

Starswirl sighed, but did not object.

Starbeard broke into a huge grin. “I used a transfiguration spell on a beaver to give it the features of a duck. I call it… ‘platypus’!” He levitated the odd creature in front of a very disinterested Starswirl. The two stared at each other in silence.

“It is a mammal that lays eggs!” Starbeard continued. “The possibilities are endless!”

“Undo the spell at once,” Starswirl said flatly. “Never cast it again.” He turned to leave without another word.

Starbeard lowered the platypus and hung his head.

“Yes, I understand, brother.” He removed his hat and held it against his chest. “I shall respect your judgment and follow your instructions. I shall—”

His head darted around and he raised an eyebrow in confusion. He checked beneath his hooves and looked underneath his cloak.

“…Where did it go?”

---

Starswirl narrowed his eyes in concentration, watching the griffon army’s encampment. He turned to the Princesses beside him and took notice of their remorseful expressions. They were dressed in their full battle regalia, even though none of them would likely be involved in actual combat. He glanced down at his old robes and suddenly felt quite out-of-place.

“I cannot believe it has come to this,” Celestia said quietly.

Luna placed a comforting hoof against her. “We have tried to negotiate peace, but they simply refuse to see how an alliance would benefit us all.”

“Indeed,” Starswirl said firmly. “They believe we ponies have nothing to offer their society. If they truly think us weak, then I am afraid this is the only way to prove otherwise.”

Celestia hung her head. “There is too much unrest between the three tribes as it is. I fear what a war with the griffons might do to our turbulent confederacy.”

Luna closed her eyes. “We know, sister. But we cannot stand idly by as their army approaches.”

“I swore to protect my ponies…” Celestia said distantly.

“Do not blame thyself, Celestia,” Luna said.

“Hold your head high, Princess,” Starswirl said. “It is here, on the brink of war, that you shall uphold your promise to your subjects.”

Celestia raised her head, and when she did, started squinting in confusion.

“Starswirl,” she said slowly, “is that your brother?”

Starswirl snapped forward and paled at the sight of purple robes approaching the griffins.

“Oh, no…”



“You are brave to come alone, pony,” Lord Garret said with a tilt of his head. “What is your name?”

“I am Starbeard the Swirly!” Starbeard said proudly, striking a heroic pose. “The swirliest wizard in the world!”

Lord Garret turned to his courtier. “Gregor, why does he speak this way?”

Gregor leaned over, as if to speak privately. “My lord, I believe it is the Royal Voice.”

“You are mistaken, good sir!” Starbeard said. “I am simply speaking loudly!”

“Stand aside, wizard,” Lord Garret said with a wave. “We have heard all that you ponies have to say.”

“I cannot!” Starbeard stood firm. “As a wizard, I have sworn an oath to use my magic to serve the Princesses and protect my fellow ponies.” A silvery glow surrounded his horn. “And that is precisely what I intend to do!”

Before any of the griffons could respond, a silver stream of magical energy fired from Starbeard’s horn straight at Lord Garret’s face. The griffons stared at him in stunned silence, beaks agape.

“What is it?!” Lord Garret shot around frantically. “What has he done?!”

Still unable to properly speak, Gregor simply held up a mirror and had it get snatched away.

“What is this…?” Lord Garret eyes widened shock as he looked into the mirror. “I look… magnificent!” He stroked the majestic moustache that now decorated his beak, waggling his eyebrows at his reflection. “I never knew the ponies were capable of such incredible feats of magic.”

“I developed the spell myself,” Starbeard said with a grin, polishing a hoof against his chest.

Lord Garret rubbed his chin and narrowed his eyes. “Could you, perhaps… give me a beard to go with my new mustache?”

“Ha!” Starbeard said proudly. “Does a platypus lay eggs?”

Lord Garret looked to Gregor, who could only shrug in response.

Starbeard fired another magical burst of energy, causing a sharp beard to sprout beneath Lord Garret’s beak. Lord Garret resumed admiring his new distinguishing features in the mirror, checking himself from various angles, as Gregor bashfully approached Starbeard.

“May I”—he cleared his throat quietly—“may I have a mustache, as well?”

“Of course!” Starbeard said, throwing a hoof into the air. “In fact, I invite any griffon interested in a mustache or beard to step forward.”

In no time at all, Starbeard was casting his spell as griffons lined up before him. The griffons all shared praise and laughs of merriment as they admired their new facial hair. A wave of camaraderie passed through the encampment, and the griffons lifted the great wizard Starbeard unto their shoulders.

“I declare on this day,” Lord Garret shouted above the noise, “there shall be peace between the griffons and the ponies!”

A cheer rang out through the crowd as spears were tossed to the ground. Today was not a day for war. Today was a day for celebration.



Celestia, Luna, and Starswirl could not believe the sight before them, but there was no denying what their eyes were telling them. Starbeard was being heralded as a hero, and the cheers from the griffon army could be heard from here. Celestia seemed to be the first to regain her capacity for speech.

“Perhaps I… should consider his offer…”

---

Starswirl entered the study as he knocked on the door. “Starbeard.”

Starbeard looked up from his desk and turned to face him. “Yes, brother?”

“Your apprentice has arrived.”

“Wonderful!” he said with a grin. The two wizards left the study and proceeded to the main hallway. Awaiting them there was a young mare dressed in a coat.

“Hello, Master Starbeard,” she said with a pleasant smile.

“Twilight Nova!” He ran up to her and threw a forelimb around her. “Come, my apprentice! It is a beautiful day for magic, and we must go out and seize it!” He held a hoof out to the door dramatically.

Twilight Nova’s eyes darted between Starbeard and the doorway uncomfortably.

“Master, it is raining outside.”

“Nonsense!” Starbeard said jovially. He jumped to the door and quickly turned to her. “Every day is a beautiful day for magic, and it would be folly to let another moment go to waste!” With that, he burst through the door and out into the rain.

Starswirl shook his head and closed the door with his magic.

“Twilight Nova, a word.”

She straightened up nervously. “Yes, Master Starswirl?”

“I have wondered for some time now why you have sought an apprenticeship with my brother.” He gave her a look of serious deliberation. “A mare of your talents could certainly find a more… suitable mentor. Why, if I did not already have young Clover, I myself would consider you.”

Twilight Nova looked back at the door Starbeard had run out of as she thought over her response.

“Master Starbeard is certainly… eccentric,” she said slowly, “but he is a kind soul and sees the world differently than most ponies. He possesses an enviable enthusiasm for magic, and I believe there is much that I can learn from him.” A warm smile graced her lips as she turned back to Starswirl. “I do not regret my decision for a single moment.”

Starbeard burst back in through the door, dripping wet and looking swirlier than ever. “Come, Twilight Nova! I am on the verge of a breakthrough!” He could not contain the smile on his face. “I have nearly discovered how to turn rain into chocolate milk!”