So this probably won’t surprise you, but being an insanely popular DJ? Yeah, it gets you chicks. Dudes too, I guess, but DJ Pon-3 is more of a ladies mare, if you catch my drift. I don’t think there’s a single mare who’s caught my eye that hasn’t wound up back at my pad for a private showing. If you know what I mean. And that’s saying something considering I can’t, you know, say anything.

Yeah, I’m mute. Surprises a few ponies, but it’s no big deal. You don’t gotta be able to talk to appreciate music, you know? And when you can’t speak, you tend to be more creative in expressing yourself. Chicks dig that sorta thing.

But anyway, this isn’t about that. Well, it kinda is, but kinda not, you know? Those other mares? Just one time deals. DJ Pon-3’s not the kind of mare to settle down, you get me? Life’s way too short to spend your time with just one mare.

Or so I thought before I saw her.

Yeah, yeah, I’m getting all bad teenage romance on you, but whatever. I’m not exactly the type to believe in love at first sight either. But all that kind of changes once it actually happens to you.

So this chick? She was perfection incarnate. I mean it. She somehow managed to appeal to me in ways I hadn’t even known I liked before. Her grey coat, her fashionable attire, the refined way she held herself, her obviously well educated background… everything about her was amazing! She was a pony from a completely different walk of life, and probably had absolutely nothing in common with me, but I didn’t care. My heart was hers to take if she’d have it.

And she didn’t even see me sitting there as she walked by.

So yeah. There I was, positive I’d just seen an angel in earth pony form, and I’m too dumbstruck to even try and get her attention. Me! The most notorious skirt chaser in Ponyville! By the time I recovered, she was already gone. And so were my chances of seducing her.

As you can guess, I was pretty bummed out.

But then I remembered all that “true love will find a way” mushy stuff you read about when you’re, like, six, so I was determined to find out who she was.

So I went to Pinkie Pie.

See, I knew Pinkie from way, way back. We’re pretty good friends. I mean, okay, Pinkie is friends with everypony, sure, but her and me? We’re tight. Not as tight as we were before Twilight Sparkle moved to town, but hey, I get it. Life happens, you know? But we’re still close, and I know I can always rely on her to help a gal out.

Unsurprisingly, Pinkie knew just about everything about my mystery chick. Her likes, dislikes, habits, where she went to school... all that stuff. She even knew sign language, if you can believe it! Took it as an elective or something. Well, however she learned it, sure saves me a ton of trouble. Writing everything down so your date can figure out what you’re trying to say gets frustrating quick.

Oh, and hey! Turns out we actually had something in common after all! The single most important thing too. It’s gotta be fate.

Anyway, me being me and all, I just up and asked Pinkie if she could set the two of us up on a date. And Pinkie? She’s ecstatic, telling me we’d be perfect together and the cutest couple in Ponyville. You know Pinkie. Literally bouncing off the walls with joy

Basically, I got my date.

Anyway, the next day I dressed up nice in my good shades and ‘phones, signed goodbye to my roommate, and headed on over to Sugar Cube Corner. Pinkie waved to me as I walked in, then pointed to the booth where my date was gazing out the window.

She was positively gorgeous. And I knew right there that this was the pony I wanted— no, the pony I needed to be with for the rest of my life.

Luckily she didn’t catch me staring, so after recomposing myself I strolled on over, all casual like, and slid into the seat across from her. She turned to face me, giving me an eyeful of those beautiful turquoise eyes of hers.

“So Maud,” I signed, lifting my shades and giving her my trademark smile. “I hear you like rock.”