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Eye of the Storm · Original Short Story ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 2000–8000

Prizes

The following prizes are courtesy of horizon and Trick Question:

  • $25 USD to 1st place
  • $15 USD to 2nd place
  • $15 USD to 3rd place
  • $20 USD to the top placing entrant who has never entered a Writeoff before

A complete detailing of the prizes on offer is here.

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Eye of the Storm
“Which one next daddy?”
Jake looked around. The exit of the last slide had left them in the center of the park, from where he had a good view. After a moment, he pointed and said,
“What about that one?”
“Eye of the Storm,” Annie read aloud. She examined the row of people on the staircase, leading up to a mountain cottage. From the cottage, a most scary slide curved graciously through a large part of the Aqualand dome before ending at one of the many pools at the other side. “Looks like a bunch of fun,” she said, ”let's go.”

She ran off toward the entrance. Jake smiled. He hadn't seen her this happy in months. Maybe even since the divorce. Jake wrestled him out of this train of thought before she got too far away, and started running after her. The both of them soon found themselves merging with the ocean of people, which flowed at a solid pace up the stairs so it wasn't long before father and daughter were at the front of the queue.

“Me first,” Annie exclaimed, as she had done at every other slide in the park.
“Sure thing, sweetheart. Just be careful, this looks like a scary one.”
“They all looked scary to you daddy. No worries, I can handle it, but can you?”
“Just watch yourself, smart-mouth.”

Her face bearing a large grin, Annie stepped into the pool of water that was feeding a constant stream of water to the gaping hole at it's far end. Annie opened her lungs for a scream of excitement. Then she released the handles and let the hole suck her in.




Jake would be next when the man next to the hole gave him the all-clear. Slide Supervisor, Jake noticed the man's badge said. Jake was mesmerized by the flashing silver material of the thing. His stare was interrupted when Todd turned to him and said, “Okay sir, get ready.” Jake entered the pool, got hold of the hand grips and braced his feet against the edges of the hole. When the Slide Supervisor yelled “Go!”, Jake let go and let himself slide into the hole.

The current beneath him slushed and thrashed with a mad fury, flipping him in all sorts of positions. A particularly scary turn drove him up the side of the tube until he was almost sliding on the ceiling. After floating in mid-air for a few seconds, he got slammed down hard before the wild current dragged him further with full speed. After he regained his composure, he worried about Annie and how she had handled this scary slide. What was he thinking, bringing her to Aqualand. Their policy did clearly state that children are allowed only from 8 years old and upwards, and Annie had been begging him for 2 years now, since those awfully annoying ads came out. It had gotten impossible to refuse her when she turned 8 last month, so he had promised to take her, just to be sure his ex-wife wouldn't take that away from him as well. Still, this was all a bit much for an 8-year old. Had he not been responsible enough? Should he have read the signs at the entrance of the slide properly? Wouldn't the Slide Supervisor have stopped Annie if he thought she was too young for this? These questions kept Jake from noticing the rest of the slide and before he knew it, the pipe ended and it threw him with a splash in a large pool.



After resurfacing, taking a deep breath of relief and wiping the water, and his ruined haircut, out of his eyes, his eyes scanned the pool for a sign of Annie. His heart started beating menacingly in his throat when he couldn't see her in the pool. Surely she would wait for him! He was only 20 seconds behind her, she couldn't have gotten far anyway. He noticed a pool attendant standing next to the exit hole of the slide, and Jake swam towards him.
“Excuse me, have you seen my daughter, the one that came out before me?”
“Your daughter sir?”
“Yes, 8 years old, brown hair, yellow bathing suit. She was right in front of me, couldn't be more than half a minute.”
“Sir, I believe you're mistaken. That's the lady who came out before you,” and he pointed towards a woman in a purple bathing suit, clearly somewhere in her forties. She was surrounded by her three daughters and they were all still recovering from the strong emotions from the slide, and had reached the phase of trying to laugh it off.
“No, of course that's not my daughter. Look I am sure she was on the slide before me.”
“No sir she wasn't.”
“What – what do you mean?”
“If sir will look at those screens over there, they show the pictures taken of the people on this slide. Cheap pictures too at that, only 4,99!”
“What has that to do with my daughter?”
“Well, you do see your own picture on the screen, don't you? And the picture of the lady before you, in the purple bathing suit. But I don't see any pictures of an 8-year old girl on there. And good thing too, this slide is a bit too scary for a child.

Jake couldn't grasp the situation, it was all so surreal. His daughter went in one side, but didn't come out the other side. How did this happen? How could this happen? He soon realized this guy wouldn't help him, so he decided to go back to the Slide Supervisor.




After minutes of pushing through the waiting crowd and their insults, Jake reached the Slide Supervisor.
“You have got to help me, my daughter is lost.”
Without looking up, The Slide Supervisor answered him.
“You should go to the information desk sir, where they're able to call her name from the speakers.”
“No, that's not what I mean. She got lost in this slide.”
“What on earth do you mean, sir?”
“She got in right before me, but she never came out, the Pool Attendant can verify this. She didn't even pass the cameras.”
“That is impossible sir. This slide is a solid tube all the way through, there is no way she could have gotten out.”
“But you have seen her, haven't you? Surely you can testify to her entering the slide?”
“Impossible sir. Thousands of people a day pass through here. I wouldn't even know if you yourself went on the slide earlier.”
Jake needed a moment to think.
“I have to find my daughter, so I need to check the slide. I can't do it with this heavy current so can you close off the slide for 15 minutes so I can go through, maybe on a rope?”
“I'm afraid I cannot allow that sir. This is one of the busiest days of the year for us, I cannot just go closing off slides like that.”
“Well, either you help me, or you call security, and they can come fish me out of the slide themselves.”
Jake made a move toward the opening of the hole, trying to figure out how he would be able to withstand the heavy current. Maybe if he braced himself against the walls, he could at the same time test the tube for openings with his hands and feet. The Slide Supervisor saw he had to act quickly.
“Alright, I'll have to check with the Pool Manager for a moment. Please hold on for a minute”, the Slide Supervisor said, and he shuffled off to inform his walkie-talkie of the situation. After a moment or two he walked back and and gave Jake back its answer.
“Alright sir. My boss has agreed to shut down the slide. You have fifteen minutes. He has sent for a rope as well, which will soon be here.”

The Slide Supervisor moved toward the line of waiting people, whose questioning looks about what the hold-up was about, were finally going to be answered. Their collective expressions turned from anxious to sad as the words of the Slide Supervisor's reached them. While the group drove off, a colleague of the Slide Supervisor with a rope in his hand skirted past them and ran up to the cottage. The colleague tied the rope to a nearby concrete pole, and after Jake had secured it onto his belt, he lowered himself into the hole.




The water must have been off for a while now, but still Jake had trouble getting any grip on the slide. The best he could manage was to lay down on his side and lower himself gently, while checking the tube for any holes or loose walls. What felt like every five minutes, the Slide Supervisor yelled down to ask him how it was going, which annoyed Jake so much that he didn't bother to give him an answer.

He came at the central chamber, the so-called eye of the storm. It had probably gotten that name because after the person comes sliding in here, the chamber holds him floating in place for a couple of seconds. Then the floor opens up and swallows the ball of water containing him. It had felt like a giant stomach to Jake the first time around, but without the water, the chamber looked fairly ordinary. It was sphere with a flat floor, where you could see signs of the hatch toward the next part of the slide. The hatch opens up automatically when there's a certain amount of water in there, so Jake would have to call the Slide Supervisor to have it opened up. First he decided to inspect the place properly as he had no luck in the first part of the tube, which felt solid all the way through. The camera spot was not far from the Eye now, so he knew he'd have to find something soon. Jake anxiously pushed against the side panels and the ceiling of the sphere, but none of them would budge. Maybe he needed to put more force on there? The chamber had proven to withstand a massive amount of water, so his little pushes would not help much. Jake decided to climb a bit back up the rope, and swing from side to side, pushing his feet against the walls. On the first two tries the walls didn't budge, but on the third swing, his feet stomped open a panel fairly easily. Before Jake knew it, he was halfway through the opening, only the rope holding him back. “I knew it,” Jake exclaimed as his desperation was morphing into hope. He could hold the panel open just enough to force his body through. He yelled out to the Slide Supervisor, but he couldn't seem to reach him, so he decided to go on. Jake figured that, if they follow the rope, they'd know where he had disappeared off to.




Once Jake had wrestled his body through the opening, he could find no footing anywhere so he ended up dangling from side to side. It looked like he was in some sort of cave, carved or eroded out of rocks. The slide was resting on what seemed like a massive stone pillar, covered in moss. Jake lowered himself down, and after a couple of yards, he felt his feet touch water. He felt around some more for solid ground, which he found to his left. He started swinging back and forth, and at the right moment his hands let go of the rope and landed on the muddy ground.
“What is this place?”
He found himself in the middle of large room in a cave. Water was dripping everywhere, from a ceiling he could not see. There was a puddle of water next to him. His first thought was about Annie falling into the puddle. He quickly waded through the puddle, feeling around for any solid mass, but the puddle only reached up to his waist, and there was no sign of Annie. Jake scanned the muddy banks around the puddle. At one side he could make out some traces which seemed like dragging marks. He felt relief at first, knowing that someone had found Annie. His relief turned very fasted into doubt when he began fantasizing who, or even what, could have done this. Why was he walking through this dark wet cave underneath an amusement park. This last thought terrified him to the bone. He started marching on quickly, following the dragging marks.

After a while, the tracks in the mud led him to a one-story concrete building illuminated by a lonesome lamppost beside it. The dragging marks stopped right at a pair of concrete stairs that led up to a metal door in the building. Crude lettering next to the door said 'Technical Facility'. Jake moved carefully towards the door, scanning the surroundings. All seemed dark and quiet out there, except for the sound of water dripping and slushing echoing all around him. When Jake reached the door, he held his left ear up to it but no sound seemed to penetrate it. Jake grabbed hold of the handle on the door, pushed it down, and carefully opened the door. In the room that lay behind it, Jake saw about 30 people standing still, evenly distributed across the room. They all gazed at something in the middle of the room. Jake's view of it was blocked so silently he moved closer to the outer rim of people and tried to see what was happening. In the middle of the room stood a bed. He saw a woman sat next to it, attending to the person on the bed. All he could see from the person on the bed were the feet, but still he knew who it was.
“Annie!”, he exclaimed, and started moving toward her. He pushed himself through the crowd towards the middle. When he had almost reached the bed, a strong arm held him back. A graying man in his fifties wearing an blue overall stepped between him and the bed. He introduced himself as Chief Technician and asked where Jake had come from. Jake's gaze was fixed on the bed and asked, “What have you done to her?”
“We haven't done anything, please don't worry.”
The Chief Technician pulled Jake aside and started explaining, “She fell out of the sky, and we took her here to attend to her wounds. She has a cut on her forehead and lost a lot of blood, but Nurse Amanda was able to stitch it back up nicely. She will need to rest for a few days.”
Jake mouth fell open, he couldn't believe what he was hearing.
“Stay here for a few days? I don't think so pal. I'm calling an ambulance and I'm getting her to a hospital.”
The Chief Technician turned his eyes at the ground and let go a heavy sigh.
“That's not an option sir. We have no say in the matter, and I doubt upper management will think anything different.”
“What do you mean? A little girl is lying here, wounded and in need of medical attention. As far as I know, your company is at fault here, and I will consult an attorney as soon as possible.”
The Chief Technician did not flinch and he responded calmly, “Please let's not to overreact sir. It might be best for you to have a chat with the CEO. He will be able to explain the situation so much better than I can.”




The thick wooden door to the office of the CEO swung open and Jake stepped into the room. The two Assistants that had escorted him here stayed behind at the door like trained dogs.
“Ah, you must be the man whose daughter is being cared for at our Technical Facility. Please, have a seat.”
Jake stepped forward and sat himself down on the left chair. The man behind the desk went on.
“Let me introduce myself first, I am the CEO of Aqualand. From what I gather, your daughter escaped from the slide, landed a bit awkwardly. The technical staff then retrieved her safely, and are at this very moment attending to her minor wounds. Still, you seem to have further complaints?”
Jake was startled by the crude tone this conversation had already taken.
“She fell out of that slide! No kid would actively go looking for ways to escape a slide. What upsets me even more is that the Chief Technician won't even let her leave.”
“Of course not sir, she needs medical attention.”
“That's exactly why I want to get her to a hospital!”
Jake's face was pounding. His desperation was winning. All day long he was focused on a clear goal, but he couldn't understand the conversation that was unravelling itself before him.
“We have fully qualified nurses on the Technical Staff. There's absolutely nothing to worry about sir.”
“But surely you understand I cannot just leave her behind. Even with her wounds. What is my ex-wife going to say when I tell her she needs to stay here for a few days.”
“I don't think you fully understand the situation sir. She won't be leaving at all. What's more, you won't be leaving either so you don't have to worry about your ex-wife. She'll be notified of your altered life paths, as will your employer and other relatives, so absolutely nothing to worry about.”
A dizziness rushed to Jake's head. He had to set himself back in his chair as soon as possible or he might have tumbled straight out.
“What - what do you mean?”
The all-day build-up of frustration was finally getting to him.
“There's no way in hell my daughter and I will be forced to stay here.”
The CEO sighed deeply.
“I'm sorry to tell you sir, but when you bought your entrance ticket, you waved your rights. This is Aqualand here, not whichever country you came from, and so, on this land Aqualand's Protocol is law. And according to Aqualand Protocol, first your daughter and then you yourself destroyed a perfectly good slide, our most succesful slide even. Do you know what you have cost us by closing that slide down for half an hour? Anyway, Protocol dictates in such situations that a full repayment is requested from the offenders, by helping the Technical Staff for a certain amount of time. You see, that way Aqualand hopes to teach offenders the consequences of their vandalism, and that it's important to have respect for other people's property.”
“How long do you expect us to stay for heaven's sake? Besides, we didn't break your slide. The panel must have been loose before we went on.”
“Sure you have broken it sir. Our Slide Supervisor has examined the error in the tube, and a lot of force was needed to open that panel, you surely agree. And for the costs, a slide like that doesn't come cheap. We get them from a slide manufacturer in Japan, and this particular slide, one of the best in the world, comes at about 20 million dollars. So by our rough calculations which our finance department emailed me just now, your combined debt totals to 68 years. But you don't have to worry. The Technical Staff is a happy bunch, it gets very lively. They have weekly parties, a lot of marriages going on too.”
Jake had to pinch himself to be sure it wasn't a dream. He couldn't believe he hadn't thought of that before. For a brief moment, a torrent of hope rushed through his entire body, coming to an abrupt halt by terrible pain caused by the pinch in his arm.
“I'd like to talk to the police.”
“As you wish sir.”
The CEO dialed a number, turned the phone towards Jake, and handed him the receiver.
“Detective Hanson speaking.”
Jake's chest filled with hope.
“Yes hello. I'm at Aqualand, my daughter has fallen out of a slide, she is wounded and now they won't let me take her to a hospital.”
“Alright, calm down sir. First let me ask you, did she damage the slide?”
“What does that have to do with anything.”
“Aqualand's Protocol is quite clear on this topic sir. The slides are all solid enough to be enjoyed normally. But of course they can be prone to brute force...”
“Brute force! From an eight year old? I can't believe what I'm hearing.”
“The age doesn't matter sir. You are on private property, and Aqualand has a deal of independence with the government, allowing them to police their own land. With the surface areas of all Aqualands in the world, that's a huge saving for governments in those countries. So you see sir, there is nothing I can do for you, Aqualand is not within our jurisdiction. Good day now.”
The click ended the talk, and Jake's options were running out.
“And what if I decide to run?”
The CEO smiled.
“I'm sorry to say you don't have the security clearance for all those doors.”
Jake had to agree there were a lot of doors, all electronically activated. Key cards on private doors, guards at the public access doors. How could this be? Are corporations really that powerful? He now remembered he had noticed a user agreement at the ticket office, against the back wall so it was practically illegible. He asked to make a phone call to his lawyer, but he told Jake pretty much the same story the police officer did.
Jake broke down in tears. He didn't know who to call, or what to do. He didn't know anything anymore. As he sat there weeping, the CEO put out a box of tissues and tried to console him.
“There there now sir, you mustn't look at it so bleakly. We have nice rooms prepared for your daughter and yourself. You will find in the technical staff a meaningful employment. The work isn't hard, the colleagues friendly and the hours short. Did you know almost all of the Technical Staff arrived there the way you two did? You might have noticed some people limping, or with broken limbs. That's all due to the fall. They were in the exact same situation as you are now. They all sat here hopelessly, weeping out of desperation. But I can truly say, they are happy now sir. They have escaped a life they hated, a job or family or friends they hated but couldn't overcome their inhibitions to abandon them. If I may say so, just like you. From what I've gathered, you are divorced. You only see your daughter on Sundays, and only for a couple of hours. I know that is the day you look forward to all week, even though it's the day that brings you the most pain, every week again and again. But here it would be different. You wouldn't have to face your wife anymore, no more worrying about her and Annie moving away. She'd be with you day and night. Imagine that, be able to talk to her every breakfast, lunch and dinner, for the rest of your life. Wouldn't you just love that?”




The elevator opened up and Jake stepped into the main hall of the Technical Facilities. Annie was still lying on the bed in the middle, but it seemed she had regained consciousness. She yelled out to him.
“Daddy! There you are!”
Jake rushed over and sat down beside her.
“Hey darling, how are you feeling?”
“I'm fine daddy. The people here have treated me very well. The pain is all gone and my wound is barely noticeable now.”
“That's good”, was all Jake could of to say back to her, “that's good”
Eventually Jake gathered enough courage, scraped his throat and said, “Say darling, how would you feel about staying here a little longer? The two of us, together?”
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