Did you miss me? Because I missed you like nobody’s business. I’m sorry I haven’t been here for a while. You know I always like coming to visit you, right? It always just feels too good to be true. The grass here is the softest anywhere, and this tall oak here makes the best shade you can find anyplace this side of Ponyville. It’s just perfect.

Good grief, how long has it been since we last saw each other? Weeks? Months? Well, it was just way too long, in any case. I don’t know why it seems like I can rarely make the time anymore, but I just can’t. Maybe it’s that those kids eat up so much of my schedule these days.

Oh, don’t get me wrong; I love ‘em all to death. Don’t you ever think that I’m not grateful to have them around, not even for a second. I wouldn’t trade them for all the gems and gold in the universe, but I have so many responsibilities now that I can’t really get away too often to visit you anymore.

It took me forever to get those two meatheads to look after the kids so I could get anywhere close to this place tonight. If I go back and find Charity gave little Tourmaline sugar again, like I specifically told her that little filly was not supposed to get, like ever, I swear I’m hitting her upside the head with something, maybe a rotten trout full of rocks.

Those are their own freaking kids, for Celestia’s sake. What’s wrong with those two? Why can’t they see that every time they leave those two all alone, it hurts them? Tourmaline always asks me why mommy or daddy aren’t around these days, and it makes me sick to have to try and explain that those two stupid foals are out partying again for the tenth time that week.

I’m sorry. Look at me, putting all my problems onto you. It’s not your fault I’ve been a lousy friend. I should have seen that that lousy jerk was no good for Charity years ago.

She used to be such a sweet little filly before he showed up. I remember her getting that old doll you made all those years ago, and she absolutely fell in love with it. Her eyes just lit up like her birthday and Hearth Warming Day had had a baby and given it to her as her very own.

She named it “Sir White Knight”, and insisted that he was her future husband, and that they’d have a castle even bigger than Canterlot Palace when she grew up and could get married too. She also insisted that he went out and battled monsters everyday and came home to his beautiful princess, or queen depending on her mood that day, to tell her stories all about it. Such epic adventures her knight-in-shining-armor had, and it took years before she saw him as anything but an actual pony prince that loved her and her alone.

Do you remember that doll? You’d been bored one day and thrown it together out of random scraps just for the heck of it. None of the colors matched, the eyes were two different styles of button, the mane was made out of at least a hundred different lengths and color of thread, and otherwise it looked downright horrifying. And you were so embarrassed. You hid for years in the house and never told anyone about it, not even your best friends.

I still remember the day I found it.

You were getting married. And you were so excited about the whole thing, positively giddy to the gills. I still remember how much you obsessed over making everything perfect for that one day for the three months preceding it. Nothing was to be allowed to go wrong.

The dress couldn’t have a single stitch crossed; you insisted on making every article of clothing yourself. Except the groom’s stuff, for which everypony had to sit you down and argue for two weeks to get at least that particular item made elsewhere.

The cake couldn’t be allowed a single swirl of frosting out of line. And when that troublesome trio tried to help, hoping to get some sort of “wedding cake decorator” Cutie Mark, you almost blew a vessel. It took ages to get the all the frosting off the walls of the kitchen. And the ceiling. And the floors.

At least we got all through it in the end, none worse for the wear. To be fair, they’d only been trying to help; plus, you have to admit, the frosting was pretty delicious for their first try.

Oh, sorry about that, I’m getting off track.

Well, when the day finally came, you were the loveliest mare anywhere on the planet. I remember going to check on you before the ceremony was going to take place. You putting the final touches on your dress, and I walked into the room as one of the girls was helping you with your veil.

Even Celestia couldn’t outshine you. I wish I could have taken a picture that could have done justice to that one moment, but even the best camera in the universe wouldn't have done the job properly.

It couldn’t ever have caught the gentle smell from your perfume, that heavenly scent of mango and peach that one of the girls had given you for your bachelorette party. It could never have truly captured the way the sun shone through your mane, a halo of soft light that reminded me why I always thought yours to be the greatest beauty of all Equestria.

Nor could it have given me the way you laughed and talked. Even as flustered as you were, those full lips stuttering through the instructions on how to properly pin the dress this way or that, the sound of your voice was sweeter than a hundred harps or a thousand flutes.

I tried to get out of the way, though walking while my eyes were entirely consumed by you was an admittedly difficult proposition. Thankfully, I managed to get to the bed and sit down on it, watching as the final touches were made. Eventually, the other girls had to leave so they could get ready for the ceremony. But I stayed for a while longer.

You stood stock still, terrified that a single wrong motion would ruin everything. Like the world would explode if a single wrinkle appeared in your dress. But I knew nothing you did could make you any less perfect, only less neat in your appearance. But, when you asked me why I was staring at you so hard, I had to look away, trying to find some way to explain myself.

That was the only reason I saw it, sticking out from under the bed where it had been unceremoniously crammed. And the blush that crossed your face made you even more lovely than before. You tried to explain it away, telling me that you’d been meaning to get rid of it and just hadn’t had the time. I told you I could take it, if you didn’t want it anymore.

It might have been shocking to you, but I couldn’t have thought of something I wanted more than that doll. It was something of yours I could keep with me, one of the few things I knew was from the days before today that showed something besides what you often liked to present to the public. It was a bit of that fun, creative side that wasn’t afraid to explore beyond your comfort zone, which you rarely showed to anypony when you thought they were looking.

We had to argue a little, true, but you let me have it in the end. Though more than a few ponies made comments when I showed up in the main chamber with the thing, I ignored them because this was now mine and no one else’s opinions on it mattered. I had something, a small piece of you, and no one could convince me it was anything less than precious.

Then the bells rung and you finally walked down the aisle, your father looking pleased as punch as he marched alongside you, and I wanted to faint, you were so beautiful to look at. But I didn’t, because just one second of not looking at you would have been a crime against nature.

And I hated the groom with every fiber of my being right at that moment. I hated him so badly, I wanted to incinerate him until only a black smudge of his expensive suit and ghastly bow-tie remained. But I didn’t, because this wasn’t about me. It was about you.

Still, when you said “I do”, a part of me died.

I should have known I could never have you, but some stupid part of my childish brain had always found some excuse around it. “True love finds a way”, and all that. But I had always known deep down that not all dreams come true, especially ones like mine, and that was the first time I found out that heartbreak doesn’t truly exist. There’s no actual shattering sensation when a dream is extinguished. Your heart just starts twisting and contracting in your chest, and it feels like you want to die, but the stupid thing refuses to just break and give you the gift of doing so.

When you two kissed, I almost fainted again. Instead, I just held that raggedy doll all the tighter, hoping the patchy cloth could somehow patch my now bleeding heart. How I managed to convince anyone I was fine, I have no real idea to this day. I suppose my tears were just lost amongst the oceans of everyone else’s. I wasn’t the only one weeping after all, though I know I wept the most bitterly.

I should have told you before then; I should have had the courage to say it before that day.

“I love you.”

Sure, it would've never worked, and I’d still have wanted to die that day. But I'd have at least said it; I could at least have been able to have a corner of my now mangled soul tell me, “You did something. You didn’t let this happen to you without telling her how you truly feel.”

But I didn't tell you. And now I never could. Because now you had someone else in your life who was going to be more important than me. How could I hurt you by telling you now of all times that I loved you? That seeing you with another made every fiber of my very being scream as though I’d been dipped in the world’s strongest acid?

Well, I couldn’t. So, instead, I sat on the side lines and watched you have the children we could never have, and raise them like we never could. I listened as your daughters learned to sing as sweetly as their mother; as your sons grew into strong, proud stallions like their father.

They grew up, and I was always there. Whenever you needed help, I was there. Whenever your children needed someone to protect them, I was there. I then watched your children have their own children, continuing the cycle of your precious bloodline. And I was there for them too, because I knew that this would make you happiest: to see them happy and protected.

But though the pain of losing you to him has lost some of its bite as the years passed, it's never truly stopped hurting. Even today, it still aches, deep, deep down. Because we both know you two still belong with each other. You can never be mine, and I can never be yours. All we can ever be is friends, as it has been and as it shall always be until the end of time. But, for you, I can do that. I'll always be your friend, no matter how badly it hurts to only be that to you.

I’m sorry, but I’ll have to cut our visit short; I should probably get back to the house now. Charity is likely either spoiling those kids rotten, or she’s just ignoring them entirely.

I don’t know how she could have gotten this way, unless it was from that jerk she married. They’ve even stopped taking care of this place, just because he says it isn’t worth the cost anymore. I’ve had to come here and do all the care-taking work myself. And he actually had the gall to try and sell this place to somepony so they could build a freaking summer home out here. Thankfully, I avoided any permanent damage to that thick skull of his, which was likely helped by that empty head of his.

They say I shouldn’t stay so attached to this place, but it’s the one spot where I know I can find peace. Right here, underneath this oak with you and all the others. So don't worry, I’ll always take care of you.

Tell you what, tomorrow I’ll be back with a fresh bunch of roses. I’ll clip the grass around here too, and maybe I can even remake the etchings if I’ve got the time. The rain's sort of worn them thin over the years. What can I tell you; they just don’t make headstones like they used to. But, before I go, I just want to make sure you know something. No matter how many centuries may have passed since that day, or will pass after today, I'll always be there for you and yours.

Because I love you. Please, never forget that your little Spikey-Wikey loves you, Rarity.