The sparks danced in the night, scattering with each clash of her blades. The girl spun and blocked the boy’s blade coming her way, all three blades aglow with magic as they sparked against each other.

The sight was beautiful. Leaning over the castle balcony, I continued to watch the two young squires duel. Below me, I saw the crowd of youths growing all drawn to the fight like moths to a flame.

The two broke their clash, both jumping back almost into the crowd that surrounded them. The girl twirled her left blade as the two duelists began circle each other, eyes locked, waiting for the opportune moment to strike the other down. The crowd below went silent the two squires stared eachother down, the hum of the glowing swords and the footsteps of the two sounding through the night.

Eager to see how the next movement went, I leaned over the balcony railing. My eyes followed the movements of the swordswoman. The moment the girl’s foot misstepped on a rock was the moment the boy rushed in. I held my breath as he raised his shining blade up to strike her down. The girl tried to regain her balance as it came down and—

“Hey! Be careful!”

I a tug on my dress pulling me back, I fell backwards with a minor yelp and landed in the arms of another boy.

I glanced upward and see him, a half-mask obscuring his face, but I could tell he was gorgeous under it.

“Hello there~” he says to me.

And I could also tell he was feeling me up.

I immediately pushed back, and got back on my two feet. I dusted off my dress and readjusted my own half-mask, turning back to him with a smile on my face.

“I saw you about to fall, I hope you don’t mind be pulling you back.”

Right, play it cool. “Yes, thank you very much kind sir,” I said to the boy, giving him a curtsey.

“Where were you doing out here? The party’s back inside the castle hall, not here.”

“I was enjoying the view,” I said to him. I heard the battlecry of the girl down below us.

Oh crap, the squires, they’re back to fighting again. I’m gonna miss the rest of the show they’re giving down there. 

“Oh! So that’s where they’re holding the recruitment. What, were you watching those kids and their little sword-dance thing?” he asked me.

“Yea, I am.” I was, thanks to you.

“I suppose we all shouldn’t forget to enjoy the lesser things. Makes what’s happening inside much more enjoyable, am I right?”

I exhaled a little. “Yes yes, of course,” I lied.

“Come on, the party's this way, let me show you.” He extended one hand to me while he gestured his other hand away from the fierce fight down below and towards the party in the castle walls.

The patrolling knights who shoo’d me away last time would be finishing their circuit and be back here soon anyway. Might as bloody well. I reluctantly took his hand and we walked back through the large glass double doors, back into the lavish, expensive, grand hall of this masquerade.

I looked down and examined him head to toe. I noticed he was eying me as well.

Tall, dark, and handsome, as the girls would say. The type of guy every girl would love to take as a husband, but I knew exactly what he was doing. He was sizing me up for his nightly conquest, getting in what he thought is my good graces, and if my instincts were correct he was about to try to get me a drink.

“Would you like to get a drink?”

And it’s wine.

“There’s a wine you must try,” he added.

Ding! Ding! Ding! And I’ve won the game.

“No thanks, I’ve been trying to stay away from it. Diet,” I lied through my teeth.  Nope, you’re going to be another girl’s mistake. Not mine. But he’s not done. Stand by for flattery in three… two...

“Ahh, I see. Well, I must say it’s been paying off quite well. You have a wonderful figure.”

What have I won today? Clearly it’s not you leaving me alone.

I smiled and told him “You’re a sweetheart,” leave me alone.

Slowly, I tried to free my hand from his grips, but to no avail.

“If you’ll excuse me, I must go to the privy. Would you mind getting us something to drink? Just some water for me. I’ll meet you right back here.” So, so cliche. But it could work.

“As you wish. See you there.” I cheered internally as the boy finally let go and walked away. He turned back to me to give me a smile, one I returned. Not because I liked him, but because I was finally free of him.

I slid into the nearby crowd as I made my escape from him. By the time he gets back, he’ll have finally gotten the message.

---

I took another shrimp from the platter and ate it, looking where I could dump my handful of shrimp tails without making a scene.

The shrimp was... ok. But as stress food, exactly what I needed.

...

I hate today.

I remembered my mother’s words.“Yasuko, This is your first masquerade, I’m sure you’ll have some fun here. It’s important you learn to socialize with the other young nobles here. 

“I made plenty of friends here when I was your age,” she had told me during the carriage ride to the castle. “It’s tradition. The masks hide our biases. We can make friendships outside our normal social circles or even those of rival houses. It’s settled more than one bloody feud in our time.”

“But you know I don’t get along with any of these people. Masks aren’t going to change that. I don’t belong here.”

“Yes you do. All the children of the nobles are here. I’m sure out of everyone here, you’re bound to make a friend. You’ll find your click somewhere, just don’t give up on it.”

“I really don’t think I will.”

“At least give it a shot, honey. You won’t know until you do.”

As much as I cursed the thought, she was right. I ought to at least try. I took a cloth napkin off the banquet table, hastily stuffed the shrimp tails inside, balled up the napkin and dropped it under the table behind the tablecloth, walking away from the crime scene as soon as I could.

I swiped a wine glass off a passing waiter’s platter, drank the liquid courage, and entered into the circle of young socialites. Two girls and two boys. One of the boys was speaking as I slipped into their conversation.

“—And so,” continued the boy, “father finally gets me a horse, and of course it isn’t the Destrier that I’ve been asking for, but a Courser.”

“That’s terrible!” One of the girls exclaimed in terror.

“Tell me about it,” the boy complained “I wish father would let me auction the thing off and purchase a Destrier, but he won’t let me.”

“Why not?” the second girl asked.

“You can get a Destrier, I’m sure if you ask enough he’ll do what you want,” the second boy told the first.

“It doesn’t matter anymore, I gave up on the endeavor. I'm never going to ride it but at least that thing can pull a cart.”

“But what would you need a cart for?” one of the girls asked.

“The family luggage, of course,” replied the boy.

Ok, here we go. I finished my wine with a single swig, and spoke up.

“Coursers are a fine breed,” I interjected “All the horses my family’s ever ridden have been Coursers. My father even tells me they’re the only ones he’ll ever trust. They’re also one of the fastest too. Before you write off the horse why not give him a chance and see if you like him. Besides, if there’s a horse you want to use when you’re in a fight, it’s a Courser that’ll see you through.”

The boy snorted with derision “You actually think I’d be going to war?”

“Well, we might,” I began. “The Dragon—”

The four youths broke out in laughter. My fist clenched, but I held any other sign back. I knew they weren’t laughing at me. In fact, that was the only reason keeping me from punching their lights out.

“Why would I never need to fight?” the boy scoffed. “Father has people to fight for us.”

“And even if he doesn’t, that’s the king’s job.”

“Oh please, it’d never come to that. Who could ever think of standing up against our kingdom?”

“The southern Dragon Empire actually,” I answered

“The southern who?”

I winced under my mask.

“The Dragon Empire south of Mendel. You know, the one who has been locked in a civil war for the past couple of years?”

“They’re in a civil war?” One of the girls asked.

Before I could open my mouth, the other girl spoke up.

“Oh!” Exclaimed the other girl “So that’s why the price of silk has been rising. I thought my dressmakers were just swindling daddy. I suppose I owe them an apology.”

One of the boys now spoke up. “If those backwater southerners are wrapped up quarreling over rice and tea, why are they a threat to us?”

“It’s not like they can both lose. Everyone thinks the queen is finally going to take back the capitol, and she is not our friend. Her empire was letting insurgents funnel into the territories we won from Mendel, and you know how much trouble they caused us. She’s broken our trade embargo on the Steel Archipelago, and promised to reopen arms trade with Mendel when she gets Xieng’s factories up and running again, and it was her invasion of Mendel almost twenty years ago that destabilized half the continent in the first place. Once she regains full control of her empire, she’s made clear she’s going to set her sights on us. It’s only a matter of time before south rises again, and it’s not going to be pretty.”

“Oh, the king will take care of that,” one of the boys chided, waving his hand in dismissal. “Do our taxes not pay the knights? How hard would it be for them to quell an insurrection of conscripted rice farmers anyway?”

“Not hard at all,” one of the girls said. “They don’t even have knights, I hear.”

I tried to answer “They call theirs—“

“Or good musicians—“

I opened my mouth again, but I was drowned out by the others.

“Oh-My-Gawd! Did I hear music?!” I heard the voice of a new girl, slipping into our circle. “Were you talking about Spoony’s new tour? His first show is going to be here next week!”

“We were just talking about some minor stuff, nothing important like that!”

“Did you buy tickets?”

“Of course! VIP front row!”

“So did I!”

It was then when I decided to make my exit.

---

I don’t think I can take much more of this. I let out a deep sigh, and finished my third drink.

Didn’t you tell yourself you weren’t gonna be drinking anything tonight? I wonder if everyone’s like me and they’re just drinking to dull this mind-numbing pain of a masquerade.

No… no…. they actually seem like they’re having fun… but how?

I pondered getting a fourth glass from the cute waiter passing by me, but decided against it. I’m the daughter of the royal guard captain, I can’t make a mockery of myself here. The thought also occurred to me that if I did have too much, I might actually leave with that asshole from before. The thought sent a sobering shiver down my spine.

I looked amongst the sea of people for something familiar. I felt at this point I would have taken anything; hell, even that asshole from before just to tell him off and kick him between the legs for feeling me up earlier.

I found something much nicer. My mother. My ticket out of this boring nightmare.

A big blue gown with a matching rabbit mask, wearing her dark hair in a neatly tied bun. I saw her talking to an olive-skinned woman dressed in red, wearing a fox mask. I waded through the crowd until I reached mom.

“Well, it was good to see you too, Olivia.”

“Sorry to leave so early, but I want to go downstairs and see how my daughter is doing.”

“Wish her luck for me!” my mother said to her.

“I will. Toodles,” this Olivia said to my mother, waving before making her departure.

Now free, I approached her. 

“Oh hello, honey!” my mother said to me. She reached out, and we hugged.

“It’s good to see you too mom.” By the way, I hate it here.

“Having a good time? I told you you would.”

I looked at her, her smile brimming with a hope I was about to dash.

“Honey?”

I wanted to lie, but I couldn’t.

“...I’m not. I hate it here, mom” I told her.

Her smile vanished.

“I don’t belong here.”

“Of course you do, dear,” my mother told me.

“No. No I don’t. Please get me out of here.”

I’m sure my mom was hoping I’d tell her I was having a great time, that I made a friend, or even introduce her to some nobleman’s son who won me over.

But no. Instead I told her ‘Everything sucks and I want to go.’

Being honest to myself, I didn’t want to be here. I would rather be home, sharpening Dad’s swords then something like this. There was no purpose here, it was just… hollow. But being honest to myself, I really had hoped she was right.

“I really don’t belong here, Mom. None of these people are like me.”

“Yes they are, they’re nobles like you. You are a young noblewoman, Yasuko.”

“I said I’m not!” I snapped.

I froze. I looked at my mother and saw the displeasure behind her mask.

She and I needed some privacy.

---

The wall of the grand hall was good as it was going to get. In a crowded room of pointless chit-chat not even worth remembering, my mother and I stood outside of the sea of shallow souls.

“Yasuko, what’s wrong? Why aren’t you having fun?”

I simply told her, “This isn’t my thing, I’m not getting along with anyone here.”

“I’m sure you’ve had some fun here.”

“Yea, the only fun i had was watching the two squires down below duel. Before I was pulled away by some jackass who wanted to get me out of my dress.”

“You’re always going to run into those types dear, those boys mature with time.”

Or they become either bigger scumbags. It’s kinda of a crapshoot… a beautiful, poisonous eye-candy laced crapshoot.

“Go back out there and try to enjoy yourself. You’re a smart, beautiful girl, I’m sure you’re gonna find someone worth talking to—”

No.

“No!” I shouted to her. “Everyone’s so vapid and self-absorbed. I keep trying to find things to talk about and these people don’t even know anything! They don’t even know who dad is! He’s the hero of the kingdom. The kingdom would literally not exist if it wasn’t for him and they don’t even know who he is, what less what what he did! If my hair wasn’t tied up I would have torn it out by the third group I tried to talk to! I swear if I hear ‘Oh My Gawd’ one more time I’m going to jump out a window! It’s like the only people they actually care about are actors, musicians, or whatever the latest gossip or daily drama is. I’m sick of it!”

“Honey, they’re all not that—”

“—Yes they are! I’m honestly sick of it!  

“Honey, you’re a noble too.”

“No I’m not.”

“Yasuko Yuri yes you are.”

“I’m just some pale imitation failing to fit in with people who’d never give a damn anyway. I’m never going to fit with these people. And you wanna know why? It’s because I’m not of your blood! I’m no noble, I never going to be!”

I froze.

oh shit.

I looked at my mother. I didn’t need a mask to realize what I had just done.

Oh shit, I hurt mom.

Yasuko! You stupid fuck! What did you do!

“Mom-I’m-sorry-” I tried to blurt out, before her grabbing my shoulder silenced me.

“Honey…”

“You are my daughter. I may not have been the one who gave birth to you, but you are my daughter, and you’re always going to be my daughter.”

“You know that, and I know you that you know that.”

“The day my father and I found you was the happiest day of our life. You know I can’t really have kids, your father and I accepted a long time ago that we were never going to have a family together. But then, by a miracle, an angel left you on our doorstep. What I had wished for ever since I was your age finally happened.”

“I don’t care if you’re not my blood. Because you are my daughter, and you’re always going to be.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know you are. You’re angry. You’re really not happy being here aren’t you Yasuko?”

“Then where would you be happy?”

I looked outside the window.

“Down there, that’s where the action is. If those guards would let me pass all I really want to do is go down there and watch the rest of the demonstration. Heck, if they knew who I was they’d give me a front row seat, or even let me go a round with them. I'm Captain Yuri's daughter after all, you know I’m good with a sword. I’m sure I can hold my own against those squires, oh it’d be so much fun too, and you know the crowd would love it.”

“That’s not your place, honey.”

I sighed. “Then where is my place? Cause I sure haven’t found it.”

“It’s here, not on a battlefield.”

“And why isn’t it? Not every child of a nobel has to be one of these upper-class people. What if I wanted to become a knight instead?”

“Yasuko, you’re not going to become a knight.”

“So what? I’m just going to grow up and just be a trophy wife to some snobby nobleman?”

“No honey, I—I’d never want that for you. I want you to be the woman you want to be.”

“Unless it involves me fighting.”

“Yes dear. I don’t want you to fight. Neither does your father. We made that decision a long time ago.”

“Well, it’s not your decision, it’s mine,” I told her. “I want to make this world a better place, everyone else who’s seen me tells me I’m a natural with a blade. I want to serve the greater good, Mom.”

“And you can do it in some other way. Just not on a battlefield.”

“Mom…” I protested. “Why don’t you want me to?”

My mother lifted up her mask. I saw deep concern on her face, her azure eyes stared into me.

“Yasuko, noone who’s seen war wants their child to be in one.” My mother’s words were unusually tense. “Your father has seen a lot over his lifetime. I’ve been unfortunate to see some of it myself. It’s not some kind of game, Yasuko. People die, you lose friends. War, Yasuko, eats away at you, and if you’re not careful it’ll swallow your soul.”

I know you feel like that’s what you’re meant to do, but you’re far from ready. It’s a dangerous road, and your father and I don’t want to see you hurt.

She slid her mask on, and we both looked to the ballroom crowd.

“We only want what’s best for you, dear.”

“...I know,” I said.

We stayed there for a minute, watching the crowd.

“You’re not really having a good time here, huh?”

“No.”

“...”

“...”

“Your father’s going to be relieved from his duties in a half-hour. Instead of staying, we can leave as soon as he’s off duty, ok?”

“I’d really like that, Mom.”

“I know you would. Just tough this out for a little while longer ok? Just stay upstairs and do whatever you’d like, and maybe you might actually find someone worth talking to. You may actually have more fun than you think.”

I wrapped my arm around mom and pulled her in for a hug.

“I love you, mom.”

“I love you too, Yasuko.”

---

The cake was just delicious. I placed my fork on the little desert dish and placed it on a waiter’s tray. After filling up, it was time to go watch the squires again. I walked through the large glass doors and out into the balcony, where I found that someone had beaten me to my spot.

A rose-haired boy with a gilded half-mask. He was shorter than me, I could tell he was just budding into his teenage years.

Hoping for the best, preparing for the worst, I took the spot next to him and broke the ice.

“Enjoying the party?

“Not really.”

I held back a chuckle. “Wow, me neither. Besides, it’s boring here compared to what’s going on down below.”

“You can say that again. They’re almost done with their mock battle.”

“Oh! So what’s going on? Is that dual-wielding girl still fighting?”

“Yep! She’s kicking ass, but this boy’s doing really well too. He was losing until he switched to a polearm. He’s good, but he’s nothing compared to my sister.”

Wow. Just when I had given up on finding someone who’s not a shallow prick...

I turned to him. Finally. “Is that her with the two swords down there?”

He fretted for a second before he turned to me and answered. “Oh… Oh no, she uses a rapier. She’s been teaching me for the longest time. Finally getting the hang of it.”

I smile. “I think you’re the first person I’ve met here who actually uses one. My father’s taught me how to use a longsword. I mostly practice with his when he’s not looking. Everyone who’s seen me fight says I’m a natural.”

“So I guess you’re going to become a knight like your father?” He asked me.

Before I could reply, the crowd below went wild. The large uproar took us away from our idle chat. We both looked down below, and saw one of the girl’s glowing blades at the throat of the boy.

“Awww! We missed it! Damn it!” I cursed.

“Oh well,” he lamented. We turned back to each other. My eyes returned to the young boy. Worth it to me.

“Well, that’s the closest I’ll be to a fight.” I commented.

“Huh? Why so?” He asked.

“My parents, they don’t want me to become a knight,” I told him.

“And that’s what you want?”

“I feel like I was meant to be one. When I hold a weapon, it just feels right. Like… something's calling me to take it up. It’s what my parents want the least, though. They’d rather have me be well…” I gestured to the mincing partygoers behind us.

“Like that. Just less douchy,” I told him.

He nearly laughed at that.

“My dad wants the same for me,” said the boy “Though, he still wants me to see what the rest of the world is like before I settle in what he has planned. Aside from a wife, he’s practically got my whole life planned out already.”

“Lucky you.”

“That’s what everyone keeps telling me. I’m not too opposed, but… I want to make my own decisions, not just be railroaded for the rest of my life. I just want to, break away and do it on my own.” The boy said as he crossed his arms and leaned against the railing.

For a minute, neither of us said a thing.

“We’re in the wrong place, aren’t we?” I asked.

“Huh?”

“This place, this stupid party, all of it. This isn’t us, is it? I know why mom says it’s good and all...”

 “...but we’re only here because our parents told us to be.” The boy finished my sentence.

“Alright, thank you everyone!” We heard someone shout from down below. It was the girl squire, talking to the crowd.

“We’d like to thank everyone for attending our demonstration. For anyone interested in enlisting in the order of knights, the registration booth will be set up shortly. Please form a line and speak to Sir Kody. It’s a long road to knighthood, but if you have the will and determination it is within your grasp. It won’t be easy, but we will help you become the you that you know you can be. All we ask is that you give us your all. Thank you very much, and as a member of our majesty's royal service we thank you for your time and hope that you’ve enjoyed our show.”

The will and determination huh?

Do I?

Can I?

I’ve always known. I reached behind my head and let my hair down.

“I’m sorry to go so soon. Do you mind? There’s something I need to do.”

The rose-haired boy meekly nodded. “Well, ok. It was really nice talking to you. You’re the highlight of this night, you know. Hopefully we’ll meet again without these masks.”

“I hope so too,” I replied.

“Here. You can have this.” I turned away from him, and undid my mask. I slipped it off, and passed it behind me to him.

“I won’t be needing it anymore...”