“...Cockadoddle-doo....”

“Ugghh..., whaa...?”

“...Cockadoddle-doo-adoo...”

“THUMP” A flash of purple as her window slammed shut much louder than expected. Wincing while snuggling up in her blankee, Twilight tried to drift off again. Celestia may be up at the crack of dawn but that doesn’t mean I *yawn*have to....

Crash.., bang.. thud.... “Get yer flank in gear, Smelly! We gots more trash on Walker ta gets”

“Oh cow paddies...” mumbled lavender unicorn, “it's Tuesday,” while rolling over and burying her head under her pillow. Never once has her trash been picked up at a sensible, decent hour for ponies to be awake.

“QUIT CALLING ME SMELLY, ya son of a mule! Why don’ts you empty the bins fer once and lets me pull the wagon, Hayseed? Lets see whats you smell like then!”

“‘Cause, I gots both seniority and I’m yer boss... SMELLY!”

Nor without a lot of yelling loud enough to wake a sleeping dragon, Twilight conceded defeat and headed towards her bath. There’s got to be a rule against making so much noise at such an ungoddlessly early hour.

“EEEEK... Spike, WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING IN MY BATHTUB!”

“‘Cause it’s cool and quiet in here...*yawn*” the snoozing dragon replied. “Too early, come back in an hour or three...”

“Shisssh”

“Ha-ha-ha C-C-COLD!” cried out the dragon as he lept from the tub.

“If you slept in your bed rather then my tub, you’ll be dry right now!”

“Ain’t your tub, it came with the library”

“ISN’T my tub” corrected the Unicorn, “and I’m the librarian. My library, my tub!”

Hoomph! Another flash and a towel appeared over Spike’s head. “You’re dripping all over my wood floor”

“It's not your floor, either” mumbled Spike stomping out of the bathroom, leaving the Unicorn to start her morning routine.

Lets see, as Twilight consulted the list posted near the mirror. Morning Routine List. 1) Fill bath to exactly 15 inches with 105F water. Started already, adjusting the faucet. 2) Wash hooves before entering tub....

Exactly 35 minutes later as per her list, Twilight was sitting down to her morning bowl of cereal.

“Spike, what is this?” peering into the bowl.

“Cream of wheat”

“You know my list, I eat cream of wheat on Mondays and Fridays, not Tuesdays.”

“It won’t hurt you to eat wheat today.”

“Yes it may, I had wheat yesterday! My daily breakfast plan is laid out to maximize my nutritional requirements for optimal health and mental acuity” replied Twilight. “You know my list, it's OATMEAL on Tuesday!” pointing towards the posted parchment.

“Don’t blame me, the market was out of oats yesterday.”

“SO WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YESTERDAY!”

“Jeez, overreacting some there Twi, the grocer would’ve still been out.”

“I could have adjusted my list accordingly!”

“I saved you the effort, since all we have is wheat.”

“Item #35) Inform Twilight of any deviation and/or noncompliance with any items on this list.” quoted Twilight from the posted list.

“Twi, we’re out of oats so I made wheat instead,” flatly stated Spike, “happy now?”

“It’s not to make me happy, the list is all that stands between efficient organization or chaos and anarchy.”

Rolling his eyes, Spike noted “I’ve have yet to see ponies rioting in the streets because we’re out of oats”

Grumbling to herself, Twilight grudgingly sat down and ate her wheat.

---

Since she was up so early, Twilight decided that for once she’ll visit the morning market since obviously Spike could not be trusted to do that chore. Wearing her favorite set of saddlebags, the green ones with her cutie mark on them, and reading her book on the Zebra-Griffin War of 745, she took off across the village green.

Plop

“Yeugh” declared Twi in disgust wrinkling her nose while wiping her hoof on the grass. Some inconsiderate pony didn’t clean up after their pet. Isn’t there a rule about that?

Reaching the market area, the first stop on her list was the oats. Fighting traffic as ponies trotted willy-nilly from on side of the street to the other, Twilight weaved her way towards Golden Harvest’s vegetable stall.

“I see you gone au naturel again, Carrot” Twilight said, noting the bright red-orange mane that along with her cutie mark earned Golden Harvest the nickname of “Carrot Top”

“Green just wasn’t my color, and please call me Goldie”

“Okay, Goldie. I need a head of lettuce and 2 bunches of carrots for...” Twilight paused for a moment while consulting the prices Spike paid in the past, “... a total of 5 bits?”

Now Goldie paused, normally there would be some good natured haggling first, but 5 bits was a fair price and Twilight was a friend. “5 bits it is.” She conceded as the coins changed hooves and the vegetables levitated off the counter.

“TOOT-TOOOOOT”

“HORSE APPLES!” as the Ponyville Express train whistle caused the startled Unicorn to drop her carrots in the dirt. “Um, Goldie, can I get two new bunches of carrots?”

“What's wrong with those?” Goldie asked with pointing towards the carrots on the ground.

“They’re lying in the dirt” exclaimed Twilight, “I can eat those!”

“You do know carrots grow in the dirt” answered Goldie, “just wash’em off when you get home.”

“But I want some already washed carrots, I might nibble on a few right now.”

“I don’t wash my vegetables, farm fresh means just that. Fresh from the plant, or in case of the carrots, freshly pulled from the soil.”

“You... don’t... wash... your... vegetables...?” sputtered out Twilight while turning slightly green, thinking of all the times she must have ate DIRTY produce.

“No pony does,” replied Goldie. “HEY AJ, do you wash your apples after bucking them?” calling over to the Apple family stall.

“Shoot no, ‘less I’m gonna cook’em” acknowledge the orange filly, picking up an apple and taking a deep bit. “litt’l dirt never hurt no pony nohow, beside the rain cleans’em off.”

“I think I’m going to be sick...” Twilight mumbled turning even greener and lurching away from the stall

“Wait, you forgot your carrots!”

15 minutes later and almost back to her normal color, Twilight paused near the groats stall. “You do wash those with clean water before selling them?” she asked Parsnip, the yellow earth stallion standing behind the counter.

“Can’t mill’em without wetting‘em down first, too much dust otherwise.”

“5 lbs finely rolled oats then, my good sir” Twilight replied, placing down her 6 bits.

“Only gots coarse today, and its 8 bits” he barked back, flipping his green mane out of his eyes.

“I don’t want coarse, I want fine and you only ever charged my assistant 6 bits.”

“It’s 8 bits and still coarse; take it or leave, sweetcakes. ‘Less you gots something else you want to banter instead” lewdly eyeing her flank.

“Do you know who I am” fumed an irate Twilight while lighting up her horn, “I am Princess Celestia’s personal protegee!”

“Oh, excuse me my lady. 10 bits”

“10!” spat out Twi. “What happen to 8 bits!”

“Prices going up, soon it’ll be 12 bits.”

“I’ll pay the original 8 bits!” Twilight conceded.

“Done.”

“Hey Twilight, can I ask you something?” yelled Rose Bud from her flower stand across the way. After finally getting her oats, Twilight trotted over towards Rose fighting the unruly traffic once more. If every pony going the same direction just stayed to the right, it’ll make the traffic more efficient.

“What in the name of Celestia do you think you were doing over there?” Rose asked while pointing a hoof towards Parsnip’s stall as Twilight trotted up.

“Buying oats”

“From Parsnip, at his asking price?”

“He the one that kept raising it”

“Because you played the rank card on him, he assumed you’re rich so he upped his price”

“He propositioned me!”

“Grow some teats, so he made a pass at you,” Rose replied. “8 bits was meant to be refused. He expected you to answer back 3 or 4 bits for his moldy oats. He’d laugh it off and settle for the 6 bits.”

“So he cheated me!”

“Parsnip is an old-school barterer, given the chance he’ll overcharge his mother. You’re the one who agreed to pay him.”

“He should post his prices and honor them!” To Twilight the very idea she was expected to waste her time bickering of prices was preposterous.

“Says who?”

“Says who?” again asked Rose.

“I’m sure it's in the Town’s Royal Charter!”

“Ponyville doesn’t have a Royal Charter, It’s a free town. That’s way we have an elected Mayor in charge instead of a Baron or Earle, didn't you know that?” Rose replied. Twilight DID know this, but never really dwelt on it exactly what that meant before.

“So I guess I need to see the Mayor”

“She’s on vacation for the next 2 weeks.”

“WHO'S IN CHARGE?”

“Um..., no pony?”

---

“What do you mean, beside the ordinances for basic town functions like road maintenance or trash removal, there is no overall Town Charter or Rules at all?” asked a flabbergasted Twilight as she and her #1 assistant searched the records kept in her library.

“Ponyville never needed them apparently, town traditions and the Mayor appealing for the Golden Rule has always worked in the past” Spike replied while looking through the town records.

“That’s sheer anarchy! Ponyville is one of the fastest growing towns in all of Equestria. IT NEEDS RULES,” declared Twilight. “Look at the traffic problem, the train, the parks cover in litter and pet droppings, merchants cheating customers, selling unwashed food!”

“Spike, take a letter!” as Twilight dictated her concerns to Princess Celestia. Not long after being sent, Spike burped up a reply.

To My Faithful Student Twilight Sparkle,
If you think its that important, then you write a charter and a set of rules.
I hereby grant you full mayoral powers until such time as Mayor Mare returns,
or you voluntarily relinquish power.
Princess Celestia.

“Okay Spike, I have a few more messages for you.”

---

“What the hay are we here fer agin?” AJ asked, arriving at the library with the rest of the Elements.

“I’m not sure, darling. Something about Twilight needing us to help write rules.”

“What about left rules, do we help then too? Is it fair we only help the right ones?”

“Oh my, Pinkie. I really really think Twilight means for use to compose rules.”

“You can compost rules?”

“Only eggheads compose rules, cool ponies like me just break’em”

“Good, you’re all here” Twilight greeted her friends and lead them into the main room of the library. “Ponyville has no town charter, or set of basic rules. So Princess Celestia has tasked me to write them and I need your ideas and advice to do so.”

“I thought we were going to compost them?” asked Pinkie. “What’s a Town Chatter anyway?”

“Pinkie Pie it is charter, not chatter. A charter is a basic declaration of the rights and duties of the Town and its citizens, and I think it is a fabulous idea!”

“Sounds like a fancy way ta say yer gonna stick yer hooves in where they don’t belong.”

“Oh my, can we make Ponyville a carnivore free town, the little bunnies and squirrels would like that.”

“Wait just ta hoot now, what about Wynona? I ain’t gettin rid of her ‘cause some rabbits. She ain’t gonna eat’em anyhow.”

“Um... maybe... um... we can say Ponyville is predator free?”

“Predator free, got it.” Spike cried out while writing down the suggestion.

A little more than 13 hours later, and a draft of the proposed Charter was ready.

We the sentient beings of Ponville, in order to form a more perfect Town, establish our rights and responsibilities to each and everyone of us, provide for our common aide, promote the health and general well being and secure the blessing of Celestia on us and our prodigee, do compose and enact this Charter of the Town of Ponyville.



I) We declare the all citizens of Ponyville the right to convene peacefully in public and to speak freely amongst themselves so long as such speech is not slanderous nor intended to cause anger or violence.

II)We recognize the rights of citizens of ponyville to maintain arms, and the right to arm themselves in times of unrest, so long as all such arms are not otherwise carried either openly or hidden upon oneself unless a member of the military, constables, or likewise exempt under Equestrian rules of law.

III) We declare the Town of Ponyville to be tolerant of all sentient beings and under universal suffrage, whether two hoofed or four. We grant them the same rights and expect the same duties as any other citizen.

IV) We declare the Town of Ponyville to be tolerant of all beliefs, and do not support or espouse any one’s belief over that of another, nor allow and discrimination or segregation based on one’s belief, unless found to be a danger to the town or violate the rights granted to all other citizens within this charter.

V) We declare all citizens of Ponyville protected against spurious or repeated charges made against them for the same offence upon which punishment has already be served or they been found innocent of. Moreover, no citizen can be compelled to render testimony against themselves or their spouse, except voluntarily, and once said testimony is given in the presence of any Town Official it can not be rescinded.

VI) We the beings of Ponyville recognise the and expose The Golden Rule; Treat all others beings as you would want them to treat you. In times of need, help regardless of reward or payment, the same as you want others will help you in return.

VII)We declare the Town of Ponyville to be a hunting free sanctuary, whereas no predators may enter unless willing to forgo hunting and/or be provided with food from outside of the immediate surroundings of Ponyville.

VIII) Moreover, we declare the Town of Ponyville to espouse to be vegan-friendly, and to require all food providers to inform the public of any non-vegetarian ingredients in their products. We also grant the right to all citizens to freely graze on public lands unless otherwise posted.

IX) We declare the Town of Ponyville to be tolerant of all sexual orientations, and recognized any marriage freely entered into between any two sentient beings regardless of race, sex, or beliefs.

X) We recognize the rights of property owners to have their own rules and regulations upon their own lands and structures within the environs of Ponyville, as long as such rules do not abridge the rights granted to all citizens within this charter.



Baroness Lady Twilight Sparkle of Canterlot, Element of Magic.
Acting Mayor of Ponyville.
Apple Jacklyn Smith, Element of Honesty.
Pinkamena Diane Pie, Party Pony and Element of Laughter.
Rarity Jem Belle, Element of Generosity.
Rainbow Dashielle Bright. Element of Loyalty and Coolness!
Lady Flutter Shylie of Cloudsdale, Element of Kindness