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One-way Ticket · FiM Short Story ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 1000–25000
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First Impressions
The Ponyville train station was a pretty wooden building with pink walls. Both were newly-painted, as the station itself had been constructed very recently. The low, late-afternoon sun heated the empty steel tracks.

Pinkie Pie bounced near the edge of the station's only platform, eagerly peering out at the still-barren tracks. Her eyes shone brighter than the sun at that moment.

"What are we doing here, Pinkie?" Twilight Sparkle asked from her position on the bench just in front of the stationhouse, where she was reading a book with far duller eyes than her friend's. "And why did I have to come, again?"

"Because you really need to get out more, Twilight!" Pinkie answered, shooting a glance over her back. "Sitting in that library all day must be sooooo boring! You should be thanking me!"

"Yes, um, thank you Pinkie Pie," Twilight replied, not looking up from her book. "Thank you for inexplicably dragging me out here without even giving a reason."

"You're welcome, Twilight!"


Just then, Pinkie's whole body tensed up, as if she was about to go into a spasm - which she promptly did.

"Pinkie! What's wrong?!" Twilight shouted, forgetting her book and rushing to her friend's side.

Pinkie writhed and convulsed on the wooden floor, shaking and jerking around without abandon. Thinking quickly, Twilight jumped in-between her and the edge of the platform, preventing her from writhing off the edge.

"It's... my... PINKIE SENSE!" Pinkie forced out between convulsions. "Something... isgoingtohappen! Atthistrain... station!"

"Is that why you dragged me out here? Why didn't you tell me?!"

"It... was... meanttobeasurprise!"

"This is a horrible surprise, Pinkie!"

Then, just as suddenly as it began, the convulsions stopped. Pinkie's muscles relaxed, and she collapsed into a limp heap of pink pony parts on the floor.

Twilight tentatively poked her friend with a hoof. "So, uh, 'something is going to happen at this train station'. Got it. Do you have any idea what?"

Pinkie gave a weak shrug. "My Pinkie Sense isn't a science, Twilight. Like, when my tail twitches, I just know that something is going to fall! But it would be super-duper terrific if I could know what it was! Like if one twitch meant an anvil, and then two twitches could mean a haystack... ooh, and THREE twitches could mean a giant pinata full of candy and presents! Wouldn't that be amazing?!"

"Sure, why not?" Twilight replied, feeling exhausted from talking to Pinkie for so long.


"Look! The train's coming!" Pinkie bounced to the very edge of the platform and _teetered_ over its edge, with a more sensible Twilight coming to a stop a good few inches behind her.

The two ponies looked out at the colourful new train that was riding in from the north-east. Having returned from Canterlot, it would likely contain a few of their unicorn acquaintances from around town, like the lyre-player and the unicorn with the mane that looked like toothpaste.

"Rarity didn't take a trip to Canterlot that I forgot about, did she?" asked Twilight.

"No, silly! She already went last week! And besides, I don't get a doozy like THAT whenever Rarity gets back from a trip! That would be silly!"

"So... somepony else is on this train?" asked Twilight. "Somepony you know?"

"Maaaaybe," Pinkie replied. "Or maybe the sky is going to fall!"

"Pinkie Pie, it is quite impossible for the sky to 'fall', because--"

Much to Pinkie's probable relief, her friend's lecture was cut short as the train finally pulled up to the platform and came to a stop. The doors of the various cars slid open, and within moments ponies began disembarking.

"I assume that this latest 'doozy' has something to do with somepony on this train," announced Twilight. "It's the most logical explanation."

"Oh, Twilight..." sighed Pinkie.

Turning away from her friend and ignoring her sighs, Twilight surveyed the disembarking ponies. At first, nopony struck her as particularly special. Most of the train's occupants had been unicorns, and most of them were familiar faces from around Ponyville. There was Sparkler, the babysitter. Then there was Lyra, followed by Colgate, followed by that one friend of Moondancer's Twilight simply could not remember the name of... what was she doing in Ponyville?

The train was soon empty, all of its passengers hastily leaving from the station. Twilight had noticed nopony out of the ordinary. Maybe Pinkie's sense isn't a warning about anypony on the train, she thought. Maybe...

"Twilight! Come say hello to my new friend!"

He had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Twilight was sure she'd spotted and mentally documented every single passenger on the train that afternoon, but the figure of an unfamiliar stallion standing next to Pinkie proved her wrong.

"Hello..." Twilight began, her voice edged with suspicion.

The stallion nodded. Twilight narrowed her eyes at him. At the back of her mind, a niggling little voice told her to remember her studies on friendship and be nice, but there was something off about this guy. His mane was a deep crimson, and his coat a dark, dark blue. His irises were a dark grey, almost to the point of being black. She had never seen anypony with colours quite like his.

"His name's Lo- uh... Lot"--Pinkie snapped her head around to face the stallion--"what was your name again?"


"I'm gonna call you you Lotty! Spotty Lotty! ...Except you don't have spots... Ooh, ooh! Not-Spotty Lotty!"

The stallion said nothing. His face stayed perfectly still, keeping its blank, bored expression. Twilight noticed that his cutie mark was a spread-out purple fan.

Oblivious to her new friend's cold demeanour, Pinkie continued speaking. "I think Not-Spotty Lotty--wow that's a mouthful--is the pony my Pinkie Sense was telling me about! He says he's new in Ponyville, and--get this!--new in Equestria!"

Twilight raised her eyebrows at this. "You're from outside of Equestria? Where exactly?"

Lothlorium blinked at her. "A faraway land. We call it Yggsuyobghajkwlr... you've probably never heard of it."

Now it was Twilight's turn to blink. Several times. In surprise. She had previously been unaware that the equine throat was capable of creating such horribly guttural noises.

"No... I can't say I have..." she answered.

Lothlorium was shown to Ponyville's inn by Twilight and Pinkie. When questioned on how long he would be in town, or what his intentions in coming there had been, he replied with vague mutterings, so the girls soon stopped badgering him about it.

After saying goodbye to their new acquaintance, each with a different degrees of enthusiasm, Twilight and Pinkie headed away from the inn and walked through the town together for a little while, watching the sunset.

"Lothlorium... what a strange name..." Twilight thought aloud. "I wonder what the naming customs are in that place he said he was from."

"Hehe!" Pinkie laughed. "Did you see the funny faces he made when he was saying that! What if _that's_ how they name their kids! Then, whenever they need to say their name, they get to make a special face! Oh! That must be the best!"

"An interesting hypothesis, Pinkie Pie," Twilight replied, smiling amusedly.

Pinkie looked over at Twilight and scrunched her face between her hooves, pulling her mouth into a crooked position. "PPAINKAYE PLEEAGE!"

Before she could react, Pinkie grabbed Twilight's face between her forehooves in much the same way. "TWWWILLAAAA SPRAKREL!" she shouted.

Normally, Twilight might have been less amused by such antics, but spending so much time with Pinkie was wearing her down, and the girl's giggles were infectious. Soon, both ponies were chuckling and chortling heartily, only stopping once it was time to part ways.

Light streamed in through the window next to Twilight's bed, disturbing her rest.

"Uurgh, just five more minutes..." she groaned, burying her head in her pillow.

"Nope! The time to get up is now! Seize the day! The early pony catches the alfalfa!" said a deep, masculine voice.

Twilight's eyes shot open. In a flash, she jumped out of bed and swivelled around to face the intruder. Her horn lit up as she lowered herself into a defensive stance. "Who let you in?"

Lothlorium, who was looking far more at ease than he had been the previous morning, casually said, "Uh... Spike did. Just met him this morning. He's a cool little dude."

"And why are you waking me up?"

"Spike said he can never wake you up after late-night study sessions, and he didn't want you to miss breakfast. He's made some eggs! They look delicious!"

Twilight eyed Lothlorium suspiciously. He smiled and awkwardly rubbed a forehoof against the back of his neck in response. Surely this wasn't the same sullen, silent pony from the night before? How could it be?

A rumbling from the pit of her stomach forced Twilight to shelve her thoughts for the moment and head down to get some of Spike's breakfast. Lothlorium ambled along after her, casually mentioning that Spike had invited him to eat with them.

Maybe I misjudged him, thought Twilight. Like with Zecora. Maybe I can learn something from this...

"...And so the donkey says to the mule, 'No, that's my wife!'" Lothlorium finished proudly, beaming at his two new friends from across the table before digging into his helping of oats.

"Hahahaha! Good one, Loth!" laughed Spike.

"Hehe, yeah," Twilight added nervously, floating a bit of egg. She didn't get it.

"That one's always a winner!" said Loth.

"It reminds me of some of Pinkie's jokes..." Spike began. "You have met Pinkie, right?"

A big grin jumped onto Loth's face, stretching it in a way that eerily reminded Twilight of Pinkie's smile. "Oh yes! She and Twilight were kind enough to meet me at the station when I came in! You guys are so friendly! And so humble, too!"

"Humble?" enquired Twilight.

"Don't you know how famous you guys are?!" shouted Loth, his eyes widening in glee. "I mean, you single-six-hoofedly saved the world from Discord! You're like- like celebrities!"

"Oh, that was nothing, really..." Twilight said, futilely attempting to douse the flames of fanboyism.

The stars in Lothlorium's eyes said otherwise. He quickly produced an open notebook and pen, seemingly out of nowhere, and hoofed them across the table to where Twilight was sitting.

"This is my autograph book! Can I get your autograph?" he asked. "Can I? Huh? Please!"

Twilight was a little put out by the idea of somepony wanting her autograph, but smiled sweetly at Loth, not wanting to cause a problem. He was being nice now, but Twilight knew from experience that this guy was unpredictable. Or maybe he was just tired from the long trip yesterday, said a little voice at the back of her head. Maybe you're being too quick to judge.

Lighting up her horn, Twilight scribbled down a signature on the notebook, just underneath what looked like a series of ponyglyphics. Loth was delighted, and gleefully snatched the autograph book back when she was done, drinking in her signature with his eyes and burying her under a barrage of thank-yous.

"...Oh, and thank you for the great breakfast, Spike!" he concluded, suddenly getting up from the table. "It's been a pleasure, you guys--it really has! Sadly, I've gotta go now! Places to do, stuff to see, people to be!"

Twilight managed to spit out a hasty goodbye before Loth disappeared out of the front door in an energetic blur of red and blue. She rubbed her head with a hoof. Hanging out with this guy reminded her a little too much of hanging out a similarly-exhausting friend.

Rarity was hanging some wet clothing on the washing line when she heard the tell-tale ring of her customer-bell. Her boutique was technically open at this time of the morning, but she hadn't expected any customers until much later, as it was a Saturday.

"Coooooming!" she sang, hastily pegging the last of her dresses to the line.

Catching a quick glimpse of herself in a mirror and gushying up her hair with a forehoof, Rarity trotted to the front of her shop, and politely caught herself before screaming at the unco-ordinated stain of red and blue colour that had then just decided to blemish her beautiful boutique.

Now, now, Rarity. That's no way to think about a customer, she mentally chided herself. [i]He could be one of those eccentric rich types. Or one of those colour-blind rich types.

"Good morning, sir!" she greeted cheerily, composing herself in an instant. "What brings you to my humble establishment at this early hour? Are you perhaps looking for a dye job? To... bring out those lovely eyes?"

"No, ma'am," replied the stranger, "but perhaps I should consider taking you up on that offer, in addition to my primary purpose for being here."

The two stood in silence for a few seconds.

"Which is?" Rarity nudged.

"Right, yes," said the stallion matter-of-factly. "My name is Lothlorium. I am a scholar from the faraway and often-overlooked land of"--Rarity held in her giggles as Loth's face spasmed--"and I simply could not come to Ponyville without making a point of visiting the famous Carousel Boutique, and meeting Rarity the unicorn."

"Such a charmer!" Rarity replied, lifting a forehoof to her chest.

Loth shrugged and nodded. "Now, what exquisite designs do you have in the way of stallionswear? I have an important dinner tonight, and it is imperative that I look my best."

Stallionswear! Rarity hadn't sold any of her stallionswear in ages! It would be so nice to actually get somepony to look at her few designs for males.

"Follow me, dear," she said. "I believe I have just the thing!"

An hour later, a dapper earthpony gentlecolt standing in front of the mirror gazed in awe at his coiffed light-grey mane and expertly-tailored black suit. Rarity stood a few steps behind him, feeling pleased with her work.

"You'll certainly be fit to attend that dinner tonight now, sir!" she told him as he paid her at the counter.

A sly smile crossed Loth's face. "Well... there is one other thing you could do to help me out at Le Petite Fancy tonight."

"And that would be?" asked Rarity, confident that she already knew the answer.

"Lady Rarity," asked Loth, clearing his throat and doing his best to sound charming. "Would you accompany me tonight? Your presence is worth yet more than the miracles you have worked on my appearance."

"Hmmm..." Rarity pondered aloud, giving Loth a once-over with her eyes. Now that she'd fixed him up a bit, he looked quite dashing--a perfectly suitable pony for one to be seen with at Le Petite Fancy (which she'd been meaning to eat at sooner or later anyway).

"Yes, alright," she replied at last, gazing at her hoof and sounding nonchalant. "When will you pick me up?"

"Around eight, if that would suit you, madam."

"Yes, that would be... perfect."

Loth smiled at her, and she smiled back. He really is quite an agreeable sort, she thought.

"You had WHAT with Lothlorium?!"

Twilight and Rarity were sitting on a checkered blanket the park, waiting for their friends to show up to that day's picnic. The former was deeply regretting starting their conversation with "What did you do yesterday, Rarity?"

Rarity was quite taken aback at her friend's outburst. "Just dinner, darling. He was the perfect gentlecolt, and quite intelligent and witty besides. I wouldn't be entirely opposed to the idea of a second date. Although it was odd that the business associate he was supposed to be meeting never showed up..."

Burying her face in her hooves, Twilight sighed heavily. "Lothlorium isn't the kind of stallion you should be going on dates with, Rarity! He's unpredictable! And dangerous!"

"How do you know that?" asked Rarity, staring Twilight down.

"I met him when he came in on the train and then again yesterday morning! Rarity, it was like talking to two different ponies. That pony is crazy!"

Rarity hrumphed, raising a sceptical eyebrow. "Really Twilight, judging ponies you hardly know. Surely a friendship scholar should know better than to do things like that! Why, speaking of scholars, Loth is one too! I'm sure you two would get along quite well if you just took the time to get to know the poor boy."

"Him. A scholar. Right."

"O'course Ah'm a scholar!" A loud, accented voice interrupted Twilight and Rarity's conversation as the pony in question trotted onto the scene. His mane was still the same, sensible colour Rarity had died it, but had a closer resemblance to a bird's nest than the style she had painstakingly copied from a magazine.

"Strange... I don't remember him having quite such an... accent," said Rarity, scratching her head with a forehoof.

"Oh, I'm quite certain he didn't have one until very recently." Twilight got up from her seat on the blanket and marched over to Lothlorium, looking him straight in the eye the entire time. "Care to explain?"

"Ah've jus' bin doin' some applebuckin' wid yer old friend 'n mah new one: Applejack!" Loth exclaimed, backing his statement up by kicking the air with one of his hindlegs. "Nothin' qui' loike it!"

"'Loike'? Now you're just overdoing it."

Just then, Applejack cantered into view, stopping to wave at her friends and Lothlorium. "Hey girls! I met ya new friend! He's quite the applebucker: saved me 'n Mac a whole lotta effort this Applebuck Season. I'm plum grateful, by the way, Lothy."

"Yew sayed as moich."

Twilight groaned heavily, and Rarity collapsed onto the blanket in a melodramatic faint.

Before Loth could descend further into incomprehensibility, a rainbow streak flashed across the sky, whipping the leaves of the park's trees up in its wake. The streak tightened itself into a series of loops in the air before plummeting down to earth. Rainbow Dash came to a hovering stop just half-an-inch above the checkered blanket, flashing a winning smile.

"Hi girls," she greeted, looking around. "What's"--she suddenly noticed Loth--"hey! You're that guy! That guy Pinkie told me about! But you have different hair."

Recovering from her faint, Rarity leaned over to Rainbow. "Yes, well, I took care of that. Trust me, it's an improvement."

"Well whatever, I guess," continued Rainbow, extending a hoof. "I'm Rainbow Dash."

"Winner of the Best Young Fliers Competition!" Loth exclaimed, losing his accent as suddenly as it had appeared. "I'm a huge fan!"

Rainbow's face brightened up, and she cast smug glances at her friends--one for each of them. "I like this guy."

"I was the winner of the Iron Pony contest in Appleloosa, you know," said Loth to Rainbow Dash, meeting her extended hoof. "I know a thing or two about being awesome, as I'm sure you do."

"That so..."

Rainbow's eyes narrowed. Loth's eyes narrowed. With one mind, their hooves slid into hoofwrestling position. Pinkie, who had just bounced onto the scene, was quick to shove her picnic basket between the two.

"Go Dashie!" she shouted. "Go Not-Spotty Lotty! Go Dashie! Go Lotty-Dotty! Yeah! Beat him! Beat her!"

Rarity, Applejack and Twilight each took a step back as Pinkie hopped between Dash and Loth, cheering for both of them.

"Hello everypony," came a soft, sweet voice from behind Applejack. "Who's that stallion wrestling with Rainbow Dash?"

Fluttershy had announced her arrival in a tone of voice just above a whisper, but Lothlorium noticed her presence immediately, snapping his head towards where she was hiding behind her friends.

Loth's momentary lapse in concentration was just what Dash needed to get the upper hoof. Almost ashamed about cheating, she gritted her teeth into a determined grin and slammed Loth's hoof down on the wicker basket, almost bursting it open.

"Ha! I win!" she exclaimed, releasing Loth's hoof and hovering up into the air to do an impromptu victory dance. "And since you're Appleloosa's Iron Pony, and I beat you... that makes me the new Appleloosan Iron Pony, in addition to being Ponyville's one! Maybe I should... guys?"

Having completely lost interest in Dash, Lothlorium slowly ambled towards Fluttershy, stopping a respectful distance away from her. Fluttershy didn't turn tail and run away, so he assumed she appreciated this.

"Hello Miss Fluttershy," he whispered, his voice coming out only slightly louder than her own had. "I admire the work you do with animals. In my country, you are well-known, and well-respected"--Fluttershy paled at this--"but not excessively! Uh, for example, we don't like your work in the fashion industry, because you looked so sad and scared in all of those photos!"

Fluttershy nodded slightly, saying nothing. Lothlorium's adoring stare intensified. Fluttershy shrank back a bit.

"Well I never!" exclaimed Rarity, breaking up the tension in the air. "Although it is very true that Fluttershy did not enjoy her brief fashion career, I still believe that there is some artistic merit to Photo Finish's Demure: The Fluttershy Collection. I would expect a scholar like yourself to recognise that, Loth."

Dash elbowed Twilight. "I think there's some artistic merit to Rarity being jealous!"

Twilight smiled. Rarity frowned. Twilight's grin faded.

Meanwhile, Fluttershy shrank even further back as Loth continued to stare at her, opening and closing his mouth as if he kept coming up with something to say to her and then deciding against it.

"Well it's mighty fine that y'all are a fan of us, Mister Loth, but I think you're scaring Fluttershy," Applejack said diplomatically, stepping between the two ponies. "Don't take it personal: she's always like this 'round folk she doesn't know."

"I know!" Loth replied, his words coming out louder than intended. "It's part of what makes her so adorable!"

Fluttershy blushed. Rarity hrumphed. Rainbow giggled.

"Just like you and your honesty and steadfastness, Applejack. And your enthusiasm and cheerfulness, Pinkie Pie. And Twilight's well-intentioned social awkwardness, and Rarity's dedication to her art, and Rainbow's inner vulnerability, covered by a thin layer of boastfulness. You're all so amazing! I love you guys!"

Everypony (except Loth) took a step back. Loth closed his eyes and outstretched his forelegs, offering a group hug. Everypony else took another step back.

A minute passed.

Loth opened his eyes to find himself surrounded by a very wide circle of his six pony idols, all of whom were giving him very concerned looks, in between shooting each other worried glances. Their silence was unbearable.

"What is wrong with you?!" blurted Rainbow, immediately making Loth wish for the unbearable silence's swift return. "Being a fan or an admirer is one thing, but this is just creepy!"

Mimicing Fluttershy's behaviour a few minutes before, Loth shrank back and averted his eyes from Dash's hard glare.

Applejack sighed and gave Rainbow a deadpan stare."Simmer down, sally. Now, I agree with you that this is a mite unsettlin', but Loth here obviously has good intentions. He just needs to learn to control his enthusiasm, is all."

The other ponies nodded at Applejack's reasonable-sounding suggestion, until Twilight suddenly froze in mid-nod. "Wait... something still doesn't fit. Remember that day at the train station, when Pinkie and I met you?"

Loth nodded.

"Howcome you were all cool and aloof then?" Twilight asked. "Why weren't you gushing about your admiration of me or Pinkie?"

Lothlorium sighed, raising his head to look Twilight in the eye. She could see a great sadness in his eyes: a feature that she had not noticed before.

"I guess it's time I just told you ponies the truth," he said. "It would've come out sooner or later."

"The... truth?" asked Rarity, raising a perplexed eyebrow. "The truth about what?"

"About me."

Lothlorium took a couple of deep breaths before beginning. "You may want to sit down. This could come as quite a shock."

The six promptly lowered themselves to the ground, some of them sitting on the grass, and others resting on the checkered blanket. When they were all seated, Lothlorium began his story.

"I was telling the truth when I said I came from Yggsuyobghajkwlr, and my claim that even Twilight would not have heard of it was well-founded. However, I was not overly specific about the relationship of Yggsuyobghajkwlr to Ponyville, or to Equestria, for that matter.

"To make a long story short, I'm not from your universe."

"What in the hay is that supposed to mean?" asked Applejack.

"...I don't think I quite understand either, Lothlorium," seconded Twilight. "I do know a thing or two about multiverse theory and causality, but I didn't know it was possible for anything to travel between universes."

"Well it wasn't easy!" Loth said. "It wasn't easy, and Ah c'n only do it once! The guy who helped me called it a 'one-way ticket' kinda deal."

"So you can't ever ever ever ever never go back to your home?!" screeched Pinkie. "That's so sad! I'm sooooo sorrry, Lotty!"

"Oh, Pinkie, don't worry about it! I love it here! I've just remembered! This place is, like, a SQUINTILLION times nicer than where I come from! And there's you guys! I love you guys! You know I wasn't lying when I said you guys are kind of celebrities where I come from?! They make these little figurines of you--they're great!"

"Okay..." Rainbow Dash held her forehoof up to the side of her head and made circular motions. "That's... real nice, dude."

Loth's eyes narrowed as his gaze turned to Rainbow. He pawed at the ground aggressively. "What's more, I was telling the truth about being the Appleloosan Iron Pony. I've been in Equestria awhile, and have had some time to be awesome. Heck, if I hadn't been distracted and you had been a better sport, I woulda beaten you in hoofwrestling!"

"Oh yeah?!"


Rainbow and Loth glared at each other.

Fluttershy hummed a few bars of a song.

"Umm, if you wouldn't mind being beaten, that is," Loth continued, speaking barely above a whisper.

An idea flashed in Twilight's eyes and she leaned over to Rarity. "Say something. Anything. I want to test a theory."

Rarity shrugged. "Well, Loth, that's a very strange story, and I still don't entirely understand it. How could we be famous in, um, 'another universe' if Twilight says there's not supposed to be a way of transporting things between such places."

"Very astute, Rarity," Twilight said quickly.

Meanwhile, Loth had spun around to face Rarity, and was beginning to hyperventilate.

"Oh no no no no no no no! I simply cannot tell you that. For you all to know would be THE. Worst. Possible. Thing!"

Twilight nudged Applejack. "I'm shore it's not so bad, sugarcube."

Loth's right eye twitched. "Y'all are fictional! Fictional characters in a tellyvision series in mah reality! Ah'm not even really a pony!"

Everypony stopped talking. Silence washed over the group, broken only by the occasional gust of wind and chirping of birds.

It was Twilight who spoke first, horn glowing. "Mister Lothlorium--"

"Lothlorium ain't even mah real name! Ah jus' thought it sounded cool!"

"It doesn't," Rainbow snarked.

"Ahem!" Twilight's horn brightened for an instant, signalling that it was time for everypony but her to shut it. "It looks like you've got a whole host of psychological problems, uh, sir. Please, take this card for Ponyville's most accomplished psychiatrist and go see her as soon as possible."

Loth glanced down at the card as it floated between his forehooves.

"No!" he protested. "I'm completely sane! This world is made-up, and I can prove it! Somehow! I'll-- hey!"

Seeing no further reason to hang around their mentally-unstable obsessed fan, the six ponies had swept up their picnic preparations and trotted off, sending out a chorus of good-byes that Loth had been too busy ranting to hear.

"Bye-bye!" came the last farewell, a shrill cry from Pinkie Pie.

"Bye... bye..." Loth whispered.

The sounds of hooves and voices slowly disappeared, and eventually Loth grabbed the pyschiatrists's card and forlornly bounced away, head hanging low.

Thousands upon thousands of stacked crates of various sizes rose up to the ceiling of the cold, dark warehouse like trees in a great wooden forest. Wood scrapped wood as a new crate was added to the collection.

"That the last one?" asked one of the workers.

"Yeah, I think so," replied his colleague. "Last one we found, at any rate."

The two looked up at the pile of crates they had just finished stacking.

"Crazy how much of an effect this 'human entertainment material' can have on those dumb enough to watch it."

"Yeah, Uhsdfgfjsa, it's unbelievable how dangerous a bunch of shiny discs can be. I've never heard of anything that could make a fellow jogolfen like that!"

"Crazy humans. At least they won't be hurting anyone else from in here."

"Shogflooben to that!"

The two workers clapped each other on the back with their middle tentacles and slimed away from the crates and out of the warehouse, into the green daylight beyond.

WARNING: Jogolfenetic material within. Extended interaction with the media materials with this box could cause obsession and compulsive imitation of the characters depicted. Do not watch.
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