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I Regret Nothing · FiM Minific ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 400–750
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Fight Back
Contrary to popular belief, the Great and Powerful Trixie is not pathetic. She is not stupid, nor moronic, nor terrible, and she is most certainly not lazy. The Great and Powerful Trixie is merely… opportunistically challenged. Yes, that’s it.

And to be quite fair, Trixie believes that you would be to, if you had to endure the hardships she has had to. Trixie was born on a mere iron mill—yes, that’s right. Trixie was born with nothing but the hair on her back and the horn on her head, like a true unicorn should be.Not at all like that wretched, spoiled Twilight Sparkle!

…No. Twilight Sparkle is not wretched, nor spoiled; she is a friend, now. Trixie does not hate her, nor does Trixie wish to grind her entrails into dust. Trixie likes Twilight Sparkle. Probably. Maybe.

But even you can agree that Trixie’s life has been much harder than Sparkle’s. Yes, she has had to face down demons and chaotic spirits, all in the service of Equestria, this bizarre country of ours—but what of Trixie’s service to the country? What about all the countless foals she has entertained, mares she has set the vapors upon? Where is Trixie’s castle? Why must she sleep outside, while Sparkle is gifted blankets of silk?

That is not to say that Trixie dislikes her caravan. Trixie loves her caravan! With it she travels between all four corners of Equestria, reinvigorating the minds of everypony, no matter the age! Doctors should cite her show as a health benefit!

But they don’t. And nopony comes to Trixie’s show anymore. Not since Sparkle destroyed Trixie’s career in front of hundreds of my adoring fans. Trixie was made into a laughing stock! She was barred from the Equestrian Showmare’s Society! She was forced to eat dirt off the sidewalks for the enjoyment of foals!

…Well, alright, perhaps that last claim isn’t so true. But it might as well have happened! Sparkle ruined my life! Oh, I don’t even care about being ‘nice’ to her anymore. It’s true! If Sparkle didn’t exist, the Great and Powerful Trixie would be the one receiving medals from Celestia! Trixie would be famous! But no, Sparkle had to go and mess everything up!

It’s not like the Amulet Incident made anything better—what do you think ponies did when they heard about Trixie’s failed plan to conquer Ponyville? They laughed! They laughed and laughed and laughed! They hate Trixie! No amount of ‘friendship’ can help you when ponies think you are no more than a terrorist.

And what has Sparkle done to help me? Nothing! She should have stopped me before I ran away! She should have offered me a room in her home where I might have stayed and rehabilitated my image! Sparkle is no better than Tirek!


The name still brings nausea flipping through Trixie’s normally-leaden stomach. Trixie will have you know that if it weren’t for her excess reserves of magic, Tirek would have never grown to the size he did! Tirek sought her out! Trixie was by far the most powerful pony he… you know. Absorbed? ‘Ate’ is more like it.

Trixie cannot describe the feeling of having her magic eaten. A mind-rending pain ran through every vein, feeling as if her blood vessels had turned to acid. Her horn burned hotter than any fire. And, of course, there was the laughter. Tirek laughed at Trixie’s limp body. He laughed at her tears as she begged for mercy—the only time in my life she has ever done such a thing. He laughed, even louder than all those cursed ponies laughed.

Trixie truly believed that laughter would be the last thing she ever heard.

I’m sorry, I—Trixie does not like to remember that day. No matter how hard I begged, no matter how loudly I screamed, nothing could save me from Tirek. And Sparkle was only able to defeat him when she finally stood up to him and… fought.

What has Trixie been doing? Does Trixie truly believe that sitting here and whining will erase all of her problems? No, it won’t! If Trixie truly wishes to earn the respect she deserves, she must fight for it! She will fight for it! Trixie will not die laying in the dirt!

Trixie will be recognized as the greatest unicorn ever to live. And, one day, when everything is said and done, ponies will speak of her in hushed tones.

Trixie’s life will be the greatest story ever told.
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