Hey! It looks like you're new here. You might want to check out the introduction.
Show rules for this event
Mt. Maud
“Okay! Um... just... j-just stand still!” Twilight's eye twitched as strands popped out of place in her mane. “Don't move!”
“I'm not.” Maud Pie's monotone response did little to assuage Twilight's near panic. Of course, that likely had something to do with the deadpan earth pony now being nearly as tall as Princess Celestia, when she'd been roughly eye-level with Twilight when she'd entered the castle's throne room.
“Okay, okay...” Twilight nervously pranced her hooves about as she tried to focus, and to ignore the fact Maud had grown several more inches in that short time. “Wh-when did this start?”
“Half an hour ago,” Maud answered as her height settled at half-a-head taller than Celestia, for the time being. “It wasn't this fast back then.”
Twilight gulped, both thankful for this little fact, and nervous for what it meant for the near future. “Wh-what were you doing at the time?”
“I was digging a hole near Ghastly Gorge. There are some interesting rocks there.”
Twilight felt more strands of her mane pop out of place. “Rocks. Right, of course it was rocks.” She clenched her teeth in a horrible facsimile of a smile. “So, rocks did this to you?”
Maud's height jumped up yet more, now she could have stepped over Twilight without the latter needing to duck. “Well, they were glowing.”
“Glowing rocks...” Twilight giggled a bit. “Okay, sure! I believe it!”
Maud just watched the Princess of Friendship twitch as she walked around. “Think you can turn me back? It's going to get hard to identify various rocks.”
“Right!” Twilight, still looking significantly less than stable, turned back to the growing earth pony. “A counterspell should take care of things!” Her horn began to glow and some of her minor insanity seemed to fade away as she put her mind to the task. The glow intensified as she concentrated, making Maud slightly raise one of her eyebrows. Just as shadows began to grow from the horn's light, Twilight let loose with the readied spell.
Maud shifted a bit as the spell hit her. “Huh, that feels odd.”
Twilight grunted, sweat gathering on her brow. “Can't talk right now!” She forced out through clenched teeth as light surrounded Maud. “This should-”
The light suddenly exploded, the spell shattering in the process as Twilight was blasted backward, tumbling tail over teakettle. She only stopped when she hit the far wall. “Ohhh... what just...”
“I don't think it worked.”
Twilight blinked, shaking her head to clear it, and looked back toward Maud. Her eyes shrank to pinpricks when she saw Maud's head brushing the throne room's vaulted ceiling, the rest of her body filling up almost all of the room itself.
Maud shifted, the crystal floors and walls cracking at her body's lightest touch. “Any other ideas?”
Twilight gulped, her horn sparking once as she pulled a scroll and quill out of thin air. “I-I... I'm going to ask Princess Celestia. She'll know what to do!” The floor cracked again as Maud's form expanded once more, the room rapidly getting a lot more claustrophobic. “I hope...”
“I'm not.” Maud Pie's monotone response did little to assuage Twilight's near panic. Of course, that likely had something to do with the deadpan earth pony now being nearly as tall as Princess Celestia, when she'd been roughly eye-level with Twilight when she'd entered the castle's throne room.
“Okay, okay...” Twilight nervously pranced her hooves about as she tried to focus, and to ignore the fact Maud had grown several more inches in that short time. “Wh-when did this start?”
“Half an hour ago,” Maud answered as her height settled at half-a-head taller than Celestia, for the time being. “It wasn't this fast back then.”
Twilight gulped, both thankful for this little fact, and nervous for what it meant for the near future. “Wh-what were you doing at the time?”
“I was digging a hole near Ghastly Gorge. There are some interesting rocks there.”
Twilight felt more strands of her mane pop out of place. “Rocks. Right, of course it was rocks.” She clenched her teeth in a horrible facsimile of a smile. “So, rocks did this to you?”
Maud's height jumped up yet more, now she could have stepped over Twilight without the latter needing to duck. “Well, they were glowing.”
“Glowing rocks...” Twilight giggled a bit. “Okay, sure! I believe it!”
Maud just watched the Princess of Friendship twitch as she walked around. “Think you can turn me back? It's going to get hard to identify various rocks.”
“Right!” Twilight, still looking significantly less than stable, turned back to the growing earth pony. “A counterspell should take care of things!” Her horn began to glow and some of her minor insanity seemed to fade away as she put her mind to the task. The glow intensified as she concentrated, making Maud slightly raise one of her eyebrows. Just as shadows began to grow from the horn's light, Twilight let loose with the readied spell.
Maud shifted a bit as the spell hit her. “Huh, that feels odd.”
Twilight grunted, sweat gathering on her brow. “Can't talk right now!” She forced out through clenched teeth as light surrounded Maud. “This should-”
The light suddenly exploded, the spell shattering in the process as Twilight was blasted backward, tumbling tail over teakettle. She only stopped when she hit the far wall. “Ohhh... what just...”
“I don't think it worked.”
Twilight blinked, shaking her head to clear it, and looked back toward Maud. Her eyes shrank to pinpricks when she saw Maud's head brushing the throne room's vaulted ceiling, the rest of her body filling up almost all of the room itself.
Maud shifted, the crystal floors and walls cracking at her body's lightest touch. “Any other ideas?”
Twilight gulped, her horn sparking once as she pulled a scroll and quill out of thin air. “I-I... I'm going to ask Princess Celestia. She'll know what to do!” The floor cracked again as Maud's form expanded once more, the room rapidly getting a lot more claustrophobic. “I hope...”
we sure got a sticky situation. but no resolution?
the characters don't really get to do much besides.... stand there and be in-character. if that makes sense. there's not much of a conflict to push them forward, except maybe the part where the castle playset is at risk of being damaged. it feels more like a mild inconvenience for both of them, like catching the flu virus (let's pawn it off for Celestia to deal with~)
maybe it's supposed to be "chapter 1" but I don't feel like reading chapter 2 at all. it's not the writing, just that there's nothing for me to look forward to. what if, let's say..... this curse happened on the same day that Maud and/or Twilight had super important plans?! oh snap! now I want to see what happens!
the characters don't really get to do much besides.... stand there and be in-character. if that makes sense. there's not much of a conflict to push them forward, except maybe the part where the castle playset is at risk of being damaged. it feels more like a mild inconvenience for both of them, like catching the flu virus (let's pawn it off for Celestia to deal with~)
maybe it's supposed to be "chapter 1" but I don't feel like reading chapter 2 at all. it's not the writing, just that there's nothing for me to look forward to. what if, let's say..... this curse happened on the same day that Maud and/or Twilight had super important plans?! oh snap! now I want to see what happens!
Huh. I wonder which stone makes Maud evolve.
In any case, this isn’t a story but a scene. It’s an interesting scene, yes, but it doesn’t even approach a resolution. Still, it will be interesting to see where you go from here.
In any case, this isn’t a story but a scene. It’s an interesting scene, yes, but it doesn’t even approach a resolution. Still, it will be interesting to see where you go from here.
I don't have much to add here. As a scene it certainly grabbed my attention, but there isn't the slightest hint of a resolution to make this work as a minific. Still:
That gets a hoof-bump from me. A great Maud moment right there. Thanks for sharing your work.
“Think you can turn me back? It's going to get hard to identify various rocks.”
That gets a hoof-bump from me. A great Maud moment right there. Thanks for sharing your work.
Mt. Maud - B+ - Feels like a snip out of a much larger story. Written *very* well, but has no real resolution. It *could* get a short tail that would complete it within the word limits if you use creative breaks, as this:
Twilight looked up at the growing earth pony as Maud’s head broke through the ceiling. “No, I’m not going to write to Princess Celestia, Spike. I can fix this myself.”
* * *
Spike sat down in the grass with a sheet of parchment. “Dear Princess Celestia,” he started.
“No, Spike!” Twilight pulled the scroll out of Spike’s grasp and looked up at Maud, who now towered over her castle. “I can still fix this.”
* * *
“Now?” asked Spike, considering the hoof dwarfing the wrecked Castle of Friendship and the cloud cover in which the leg attached to it vanished. “I don’t think Rainbow can find enough clouds to keep her covered any more.”
“Well…” Twilight took a guilty glance at the distant city of Canterlot, which Maud would be able to touch with her nose fairly soon. “I suppose so.” (137 words)
Twilight looked up at the growing earth pony as Maud’s head broke through the ceiling. “No, I’m not going to write to Princess Celestia, Spike. I can fix this myself.”
* * *
Spike sat down in the grass with a sheet of parchment. “Dear Princess Celestia,” he started.
“No, Spike!” Twilight pulled the scroll out of Spike’s grasp and looked up at Maud, who now towered over her castle. “I can still fix this.”
* * *
“Now?” asked Spike, considering the hoof dwarfing the wrecked Castle of Friendship and the cloud cover in which the leg attached to it vanished. “I don’t think Rainbow can find enough clouds to keep her covered any more.”
“Well…” Twilight took a guilty glance at the distant city of Canterlot, which Maud would be able to touch with her nose fairly soon. “I suppose so.” (137 words)
The biggest problem with this story is that something happened, but I don't know why it mattered. Conflict isn't just about having some sort of problem, it requires context. Maud kept growing, but without a greater context for why this was important, I don't really know why I am supposed to care.
Okay, since it's been revealed who wrote this, I can finally comment about it.
I realize the story just sort of... ends and doesn't have a lot of resolution and I make no excuses for my poor writing on the matter. Hopefully, I can actually put in some legitimate conflict and depth to the whole thing. Still, the general response has been positive and I think you for that.
Let's see if I can pound this into a real story.
I realize the story just sort of... ends and doesn't have a lot of resolution and I make no excuses for my poor writing on the matter. Hopefully, I can actually put in some legitimate conflict and depth to the whole thing. Still, the general response has been positive and I think you for that.
Let's see if I can pound this into a real story.
Okay, there are plenty of stories I like that don't really end with any clear resolution to the problem. But I think the main problem here is that since the story is trying to build up to a resolution, not delivering it sort of goes against the purpose of the entire piece and makes it feel kind of pointless. It's an anti-climax in the most negative sense. The personalities of Maud and Twilight are pretty accurate, but that's really all that I can say for the piece.