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Shady Business
A bright antique store, off the street
Gaudy in the sun
Gives a hint of autumn sweet
And goads my instinct in
ooooFor daffodils are a repeating thing
ooooAnd I am surfeited of Spring.
The flickered glances say to me,
“What do you want?”
As though a trooper in their garden free.
And in the doorframe sheen
ooooOne turns his head as though to greet
ooooAnd now I tire of men to meet.
I wonder on through galleries
Of schooners on the sound
The chase of shining salaries
Ambition, manifest
ooooBut the gray glistened chop of sea
ooooShows me Struggle’s cyclicity.
At last alone, in darkened room
I marvel at some books
Whose voiceless murmurs in the gloom
Spell blind trees and silent flowers
ooooOf dreams and deadlines met
ooooBefore that time their sun had set.
Gaudy in the sun
Gives a hint of autumn sweet
And goads my instinct in
ooooFor daffodils are a repeating thing
ooooAnd I am surfeited of Spring.
The flickered glances say to me,
“What do you want?”
As though a trooper in their garden free.
And in the doorframe sheen
ooooOne turns his head as though to greet
ooooAnd now I tire of men to meet.
I wonder on through galleries
Of schooners on the sound
The chase of shining salaries
Ambition, manifest
ooooBut the gray glistened chop of sea
ooooShows me Struggle’s cyclicity.
At last alone, in darkened room
I marvel at some books
Whose voiceless murmurs in the gloom
Spell blind trees and silent flowers
ooooOf dreams and deadlines met
ooooBefore that time their sun had set.
Interesting structure and rhyme pattern. This seems to be about that age-old theme of lamenting that something's time has passed, but it's vague enough about it that I can't quite pick it all up. On the surface, someone is walking past some shops, but I initially took the whole thing as the narrator going though the antique shop. This has a really nice feel and mood to it (and also has the prompt drop), but it largely went over my head, I think.
>>Pascoite
I'll probably revise this one. It is in fact set in an antique shop, though the poem itself is not very well situated (but I like some of the lines).
I'll probably revise this one. It is in fact set in an antique shop, though the poem itself is not very well situated (but I like some of the lines).
>>Heavy_Mole
I wasn't sure. The "goads my instinct in" would tend to say the narrator went into the antique shop, and the kinds of things he sees in the next stanza would tend to jive with that. Even the one after could, except the use of "galleries" had me in a mind that he'd wandered into a museum or art shop, and made me revisit the "doorframe" of the second stanza as coming after the "goads my instinct in" as if he hadn't actually gone inside but was still on the sidewalk regarding the entrance at that point. With that in mind, the last stanza made me think he was in a library or bookstore.
I wasn't sure. The "goads my instinct in" would tend to say the narrator went into the antique shop, and the kinds of things he sees in the next stanza would tend to jive with that. Even the one after could, except the use of "galleries" had me in a mind that he'd wandered into a museum or art shop, and made me revisit the "doorframe" of the second stanza as coming after the "goads my instinct in" as if he hadn't actually gone inside but was still on the sidewalk regarding the entrance at that point. With that in mind, the last stanza made me think he was in a library or bookstore.
Honestly, I didn't really connect with this one at all. Makes a bit more sense now, knowing it's set in an antique shop, cause I don't think I've ever set foot in one and I struggle to think of any memory even loosely related to any old-ish shop or something like it.
The structure with these indented lines was nice, but it felt more novelty-like to me than like one part of a whole. Though that's probably due to me not really seeing any bigger picture, any whole.
What I'm taking away from this one is pretty much: you and I probably have really different experiences and interests.
The structure with these indented lines was nice, but it felt more novelty-like to me than like one part of a whole. Though that's probably due to me not really seeing any bigger picture, any whole.
What I'm taking away from this one is pretty much: you and I probably have really different experiences and interests.