This conjured up the image of the Grim Reaper shaving off time like you would a slice of cheese. He lays you on a board and, bit by bit, cuts away at you.

The double rhyming scheme was appreciated, but I found that the flow was somewhat jagged on a few lines. The second line of each paragraph trips me up each time I read it, especially the word 'descending'. While I can build up a rhythm for the poem the 'descending' line makes me quick-step on the delivery when I'm reading it aloud.

Otherwise, good job. It isn't quite clear how the title plays into the poem as they don't seem to 'End', but good overall.

Structurally, the first stanza is perfect iambic trimeter, which sets up the expectation that the second will be as well, but it isn't. It still has the correct number of syllables for it, but not the rhythm, and scythe/life is a fairly weak rhyme. It also has a pretty stark tonal shift in the middle. The first stanza is peaceful and playful, an enjoyable image of dreaming. Then the second stabs that in the back to say it's also only bringing you closer to death. I have mixed feelings about whether that works. I don't see enough of a thematic connection to it. Rather than saying A causes B, it's just saying there's A and then there's B. It creates a reaction, but I don't think it makes a point.

One cannot keep the rhythm,
We borrow it a while.
If life you cannot fathom,
Then live at least in style.

"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow..."

>>MrExtra, >>Pascoite, >>Heavy_Mole

Bend

Yeah, I mucked this one up. In the first draft the last lines were slices one more day / from your busy life. I tried to get the meter in the second stanza to match the first at three in the morning, then I gave up and left it in the current state. Thanks for the perceptive comments!