One morning, Rainbow Dash finally realized that her true destiny in life was to care for animals. Her cutie mark even told her so! And so, by a mystical intuition, she let herself be drawn to Fluttershy’s cottage, pulled as it were by the threads of fate.

Inside the cottage were fuzzies and featheries of every stripe. Ferrets and hedgehogs, toucans and flamingos, and even a giant sleeping bear. They were calm and contented, nuzzling one another and sharing their food.

It was a microcosm of paradise.

Rainbow’s entrance got the animals’ attention. They sensed that [i]the pony with the butterfly butt[/i] had returned to them, and were at peace. A couple of mice and a baby bunny skittered toward the door, greeting Rainbow with affection and nuzzlings. She felt overjoyed. “How could I have lived my entire life without knowing this feeling?” she whispered. “I must have been crazy!”

As she was cuddling the mice and the baby bunny, she began to daydream about her foalhood. She had not liked to remember it before, but now it was coming back to her: dressing up and playing make-believe as a princess, getting into trouble wearing mommy’s makeup, and most of all, playing with dolls.

She remembered Princess Vespa and Prince Valium, her favorites, and how she used to put on long plays with them by herself, which always culminated in hours-long nuptials and a visit from the stork.

And as Rainbow looked at the tiny, precious animals who practically fit in her hooves, she got an idea.

[hr]

One of the mice had managed to escape, but Rainbow still had two hooves. In one was the other mouse, struggling to escape the washcloth wedding gown that had been forced over her head; in the other was the baby bunny, wearing a spoon on its head to signify dress armor. The bunny had long since fallen asleep.

Rainbow Dash was lost in the moment. “I pronounce you Prince and Princess! Now... kiss.”

She pushed the uncomfortable mouse and the sleeping bunny toward each other. But as the crucial moment approached—CRASH!—a clangor from the kitchen startled her, briefly loosening her grip, and the encumbered mouse slipped quickly out of her dress and became a runaway bride.

From the kitchen, a squirrel peeked his head out. The mice gave him a thumbs-up, then scampered into their hole.

Rainbow gave a harrumph. “Okay, you guys, be that way! There are plenty of other little animals here who’ll play with me!” She picked herself up and floated around the room, scanning the animals’ faces. “Aren’t there?”

She spied a chicken clucking softly beside a ferret. “You two! You’re the new Princess Vespa and Prince Valiant!" she said. "Now kiss!” She tried to push their heads together, anticipating romantic bliss, but the quick little ferret bit her on the foreleg.

“Yowch! Hey, that’s not part of the play! There’s no biting allowed!” She grabbed the ferret up and stuffed him in a hanging cage. 

“Everyone, this is the time-out cage,” she announced to the room. “Anycritter who acts up, gets put in here for time-out! Got it?”

There was a brief silence, as the animals traded looks. Then...

The room erupted. Flamingos and frogs, seals and snakes joined in the mutiny, overturning furniture, raising racket, and defecating [i]ad libitum[/i].

Rainbow sank down to the floor, overwhelmed with desperation and shock.

After several minutes, the clamor was enough to wake the bear, whose mighty roar-like yawn startled and stunned everyone. The bear surveyed the room with an irritated look, and the rioting animals froze where they were, their frightened eyes glued to him.

Rainbow realized she needed the bear on her side.

“H-H-Harry, my man... H-how was your nap? Have any sticky honey dreams?”

Harry gave Rainbow a blank look, and she became desperate.

“Look, Harry, these animals—I don’t know what’s gotten into them! You’re a reasonable bear. But the others are raising cane sugar in here! Won't you help me calm them down?”

Harry surveyed the damaged room, sighed, and rolled his eyes. Then he gave a bellow. The animals stopped their destruction, rushed back to their places, and remained still.

Rainbow sighed with relief. “Thank you, Harry! I... thanks.” She looked into his eyes. "Just one more thing, Harry..." Her eyes grew wide with emotion.

“Would you put on this gown?”

[hr]

Bound and tied in a cauldron without recourse, fearing for her life, Rainbow’s final words were braver than her feelings:

“I regret nothing!”