"I don't know about this, Cadance. It feels a little weird."

Princess Mi Amore Cadenza smiled gently. "Now, now, Shiny," she said. "It's good to be adventurous once in a while! After all, we have no idea what sort of customs and traditions they have in the lands beyond the magic mirror. I think it would be a good step toward fostering interdimensional cooperation and understanding for us to try some of them out."

"But doesn't it bother you at all that Twiley sent us something this...intimate?"

"Stallions!" said Cadance, with a playful scoff. "Always sexualizing things! It's just a simple bottle of preening oil. I, for one, would love to know how pegasus ponies keep their wings neat and attractive in this strange 'Canterlot High' place that our sister keeps talking about visiting. Plus, based on the label, I think it has a warming agent in it." She grinned, a bit devilishly, running a tendril of sparkling blue magic up the side of Shining's neck. "Doesn't that sound nice, my brave Prince-Consort?"

"Now who's sexualizing things?"

Cadance turned from devil to angel in one moment of coy metamorphosis. "I'm just saying," she said, tracing a pattern in the rug with one impeccably-manicured hoof, "I could make good use of a spare set of teeth in my grooming rituals tonight." She spread her shimmering, violet-tipped wings wide, rustling her feathers enticingly, and she was gratified to see her husband's pupils dilate, his breathing quicken.

"I'm on board," said Shining Armor, snatching up the strange little bottle in his telekinetic field. "How much do I put on?"

"Just a little, at first," she said, delicately arching her left primaries in his direction. Shining Armor uncapped the bottle and poured a measure of thick reddish fluid onto the curve of her alula. "Mm," she said. "I definitely feel something."

"Okay," Shining Armor said, running his tongue across his teeth. "Now, I know I'm nowhere near as good at this as a natural-born pegasus, but I hope I can give you at least a little satisfaction. Just like we practiced, right?"

"Right," said Cadance, her voice becoming a bit dubious. "Shining, wait. I'm suddenly not so sure about this."

"Just relax, Honey. I'll be the first to admit this hasn't always gone well for us, but I really think I've got the hang of it."

"All right, if you're sure," said Cadance, offering her wing again. "It's just that the warming sensation is getting pretty intense—"

Mustering his confidence, Shining Armor gave his wife's plumage the most delicate of nibbles.

[hr]

Fifteen minutes later, in the opulent crystalline kitchens of their palatial home, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Prince-Consort Shining Armor stared haggardly at one another over a heavy pitcher of cold, white milk. Cadance's violet eyes had turned an angry red around the edges, and Shining's coat was drenched with sweat.

Cadance's lip twitched. Then, a chuckle.

"Wow," she said.

"I'm, uh, sorry—"

She laughed. "No lasting harm done, Shiny."

"I want to say it. Sorry for panicking and getting it in your eyes."

"Apology accepted," she said, "if you'll accept my apology for knocking you onto your dock in my haste to get to the bath."

"Accepted in turn," said Shining Armor, his gallant gesture dissolving into a series of coughs. "That," he said, when he recovered his breath, "was the worst preening ointment I've ever tasted."

"I don't doubt it," Cadance said. "It didn't much feel like a peach either." She studied the offending bottle. "'Texas Pete Wing Zing. For Super Hot Wings.'" Cadance shook her head, putting the bottle down. "I don't know much about Canterlot High, and I'm not sure who this 'Texas Pete' is, but his preening aids are absolutely ridiculous."

"Obviously grossly mislabeled, anyway," said Shining. "There is no doubt in my mind that you have super-hot wings, honey, and that bottle was clearly not for you."

"Aw," said Cadance. "How sweet. Kiss?"

Shining Armor leaned in. Their lips touched.

Cadance's eyes went wide.