[center][b][size=1.5em]FIFTEEN RULES OF ENGAGEMENT: A CADET'S GUIDE[/size][/b] [size=0.75em][Written and edited by Force Captain Scorpia][/size][/center] [b]Introduction:[/b] With this pamphlet you'll be able to not only help win the war against the treacherous Rebellion, but also survive the equally important war at home! Catra is a [i]super[/i]-important member of the Horde (the second-in-command!), and as a cadet you will be interacting with her on pretty much a daily basis. Catra is the most awesome person in the world, but she can be testy at times. As such, abiding the following rules of engagement will greatly improve your chances at both being a productive cadet and knowing proper etiquette! Abiding these rules might even [i]save your life[/i] one day! Nah, just kidding. Mostly. [b]Rules:[/b] 1. Do not greet Catra in a way that seems too nice or friendly or well-meaning. Do not greet her with "Hello!" or "Hey!" or "Hi!" or "Howdy!" or several other words that begin with the letter "H." Do not, under any circumstances, ask her about the weather or other common topics of small talk. In fact, try to dodge small talk by any means necessary, however tempting it may be. 2. Do not greet Catra unless greeted first. If greeted first, respond with the utmost composure and apparent disinterest. Catra will give you a mean look if you sound too happy or conversational. 3. Do not converse with Catra unless it is a verified emergency between 0000 and 1200 hours. 4. Do not converse with Catra unless it is a verified emergency between 1200 and 0000 hours. 5. When conversing with Catra, do not bring up the word "Adora." She definitely doesn't like it when anyone says that word. In fact, just to play it safe, refrain from saying similar-sounding words when in Catra's presence, such as "adorable" and "admire." That second one doesn't sound much like "Adora," but you can never be too cautious! 6. Do not say the word "Adora" when around Catra. Sorry, just a reminder. 7. No, seriously, don't do it. 8. Do not try to act like Catra is your friend, or pal, or chum, or buddy, or comrade, etc. She is your commanding officer and you [i]will[/i] respect her! 9. Never refer to Catra by name alone; only best buddies get to call her by just her name. Instead, you should precede her name with "second-in-command," or, if you want to keep things short, use "captain." While the rank of captain does not technically apply to Catra, she has gone on record as liking the title. It's like being the captain of a pirate ship, or something. Isn't that cool? 10. Make [i]extra[/i]-sure to not disturb Catra when she has retired for the night, or the morning, or the afternoon. Catra is the second-in-command of Lord Hordak's army, and she needs her beauty sleep. She needs her beauty sleep so much, actually, that she requires between ten and fourteen hours a day. 11. Sometimes, Catra will sit by herself and appear to be awake, when she is actually taking a cat... nap. 12. I'm sorry, I couldn't resist that one! 13. In the event that Catra is taking a nap, do your absolute best to [i]not[/i] interfere. She may appear like a corpse, or someone who passed out after drinking too much mead, or one of those creepy mannequin doll things, but just leave her be. In due time she will be back to her normal self and everything will be mostly right with the world. 14. Did you know Catra [i]purrs[/i] when she's happy? 15. Finally, do not repeat any of these rules to Catra herself; she'd get mad at me if she found out. [b]Conclusion:[/b] Keep this pamphlet on your person as often as you can, or, if you don't feel like it, at least keep it in a place where you're sure not to misplace it. Trust me, I lose stuff [i]all[/i] the time; it's pretty annoying. For example, one day I was having a bagel for lunch, right? With real toasted bread and butter, so you [i]know[/i] it was the good stuff. Anyway, I had split my bagel in half, as you sometimes do when eating a bagel, and I had eaten one half when I had to leave for a second to talk to a fellow officer. When I came back, the other half was gone! Somebody must've stolen it. Which one of you stole my bagel? Anyway... Now you know, and knowing is half the battle!