Ponyville Elementary. This joint used to be free of crime until I came along. I’m the top dog of this school. If somepony wants something, they come to me. It took me a while to build this empire, but now that I have it, there’s nothing that I’m gunna’ do to waste it. 

Right now there’s a certain pony that’s supposed to be meeting up with me. Problem is, he’s late, and I hate those who're late. 

“Hey there, Cobalt! You got those hoofball cards you said you were going to trade me?” Snails calls out.

“Be quiet, will ya’? You trying to blow my cover or something?”

Snails apologized. I eyed him for a minute. “First, why don’t you tell me why you were late?”

“Well, uh, I was kinda doing something.” Snails eyes darted away. I knew something was up.

I pressed further. “Yeah, like what?”

“Uh….”

“I don’t believe you’re bein’ truthful with me right now. Talk, or else.”

His pupils shrank. I knew that face, it was the look of a coward. He was gunna’ run, I knew it.

“Uh, I gotta go!” he ran. I told ya’ so.

“No you aint!” I jumped on his back and tackled him to the ground before he made it far. “First, you’re gunna’ tell me what you were doin’ else this hoof here is gunna’ get smashed!”

[hr]

“So you smashed his hoof?!” Cheerilee was getting loud hearing my story. I would to, as it was pretty impressive.

“You gotta’ teach these colts a lesson, Cheerilee. You know that. That’s how you dull out discipline.” 

“Discipline? That was assault! You smashed a colt’s hoof over some hoofball cards! You can get expelled over that!”

“Tomato, tomato. The only thing that matters in the end is that Snails knows what gunna’ come to him next time he crosses my bad side.”

There was a knock at the door. Cheerilee sang her “Come in!”, which prompted Princess Twilight Sparkle to come walking in. 

“Miss Cheerilee, I’ll have you know that Snails made it safely to the hospital and that so far we haven't found anything serious.”

“Oh thank Celestia,” Cheerilee sighed with relief.

“And you,” Twilight faced me. “I don’t know exactly what you put him through, but whatever it was, it was no excuse.” 

“Ayy, Princess. You’re looking beautiful today. Did you lose some weight? Your ass is looking fine.”

The princess jerked her head back in disgust. “What did you just say to me?”

“What? You heard me. I’m thinking about inviting you to dinner under the moonlit sky. You up?”

Twilight turned to the teacher of the room. “Cheerilee, are you listening to what this colt is saying to me?” 

“Sorry, Twilight. Even I can’t get him under control. He’s been acting like that ever since he got in here.” 

I snapped at her. “Hey, don’t ignore me. I asked you a question.” 

“I’m sorry, I don’t date colts.” 

“Colt? Who you callin’ a colt? Twilight, I’m a full blown stallion. Enough to meet all of your needs.” I stared deeply into Twilight’s eyes as she peevishly shied away from advances. She was blushing. I knew I had the magic in me. 

“I need to leave.” Twilight parted from me and went for the door. She turned back to Cheerilee. “You need to get him under control.”

With one last wanting stare toward me, I motioned my hoof guns to her. She blushed and turned. Oh yeah, I was getting some of that later tonight.

“Anyways, Cheerilee, I’d love to stay longer, but I’ve gotta go. My other mares are calling for me.”

Cheerilee ran to the door in protest. “B-but what am I going to tell the upper ponies? I don’t want you to leave my side!” 

“Just keep pretending and keep bullshitting like you always do. That’s why you’ll stay my number one, Cheer Cheer. Because you’re always there for me.”

Cheerilee fainted from the praise. On the ground she sang. “Anything for you, Cobalt.”

I smirked and walked out of the classroom.

[hr]

Snails walked on the path trying to find the meeting area Cobalt told him about earlier. He had desperately wanted those hoofball cards Cobalt was willing to trade to him. In a hidden clearing, Snails found Cobalt Shield. On the floor, drooling out of his mouth, and next to a pile of powdered poison joke, Cobalt spasmed while muttering about how much he wanted Princess Twilight’s ass.

“Uh, Cobalt? You okay?”