“Two aces and three kings,” Sombra said with a satisfied smirk on his face, sliding his cards on the table for all desperate eyes to see. He couldn’t help but chuckle as loud as his lungs could manage from the sounds of all the disgruntled groans around him, followed soon with curses and cards being thrown all across the table.


Sombra collected his winnings of several dozen golden doubloons and rubies from the occupants around him, all of which were horrifying demons and the odd deceased lawyer or two. That’s the type of crowd you draw when you play poker in the endless dark abyss of the netherworlds.


“Ante up, boys, I’m feeling lucky today! I knew my winning streak would improve after a couple of centuries!” Sombra clapped his hooves together, smiling a devious grin while licking his lips at the sight of all the more winnings he could acquire: diamonds and crystals and magical swords of immeasurable power, oh yes, they’d all be his.


“You should think about quitting while you’re still ahead, chum. Winning streaks don’t last often ‘round this parts,” the dealer said, flicking him a new duo of cards. The dealer’s eyes--or rather the twin incredibly dark pearls that sucked out all light, hope, and happiness within the vicinity--focused on Sombra with a frown. “Unless of course you think you’re lucky.”


Sombra didn’t even flip over his cards yet, instead absently fiddling with one of the many towers of gold stacked around him like armrests for a throne. “Lucky? I was [i]born[/i] lucky. I’m a king, ruler of an entire nation, and at the moment, immensely wealthy. Sure, I was thrown into a deep, dark abyss for an undisclosed amount of time.” Sombra’s winning smile skipped a beat and frowned for a mere moment. “Then I kinda dragged my entire country down with me.” Now a grimace was overtaking his lips. “And, of course, I’ve been playing poker with a bunch of demonic freaks and eldritch abominations for who knows how long.” Sombra laughed, his smirk now back and bigger than ever. “And I’m winning for once! If that isn’t luck, I don’t know what is!”


The dealer grunted, a trail of brimstone smoke puffing out of his nostrils. “I call it dementia.”


“What was that?”


“Nothing. You in or what?”


Sombra leaned down close and flipped over his cards for the quickest of moments, a sinister and incredibly creepy giggle leaving his lips while his eyes glinted with glee. “Oh yes, I do believe I’m in.” Sombra pushed forward his entire pile of winnings. “All in.”


Cries of woe and calls of ‘dirty, dirty cheater’ could be heard all around as the various monsters, abominations, demonic figures, and ghostly lawyers threw their cards on the table. All except for one.


“So, Discord, it looks like it’s come down to this,” Sombra said. “You keep on sneaking out of your stone prison just to lose?”


Discord tipped his fedora, his eyes glowering with dubious intentions in the shadows. “Nah. I came to win. Flip ‘em up.”


Sombra showcased his cards. “Read ‘em and weep, boys. Two queens, otherwise known as an Equestrian government. Ha!”


“Two kings,” Discord said, throwing his cards on the table and laughing. He pointed both fingers at Sombra and made a ‘pew, pew’ noise. “Otherwise known as cowboys! Looks like your luck is over, partner! Ahahahaha!”


“Noooooooooooooooo!” Sombra bemoaned, watching his beautiful prize of winnings dragged away. “My money! I could have bought so many things with that!” Sombra looked around at the never ending darkness and gloom that surrounded him. “Or at least have felt better about myself.”


“Well, then you ain’t gonna feel good about this,” the dealer said, before wrapping a meaty fist around Sombra’s neck and bringing him in close. “Those winnings were supposed to pay off your tab for the past millennium. Now how you planning to [i]not[/i] get your knees broken?”


Tapping at the meaty fist repeatedly so he could breathe, Sombra gulped in a large breath of air before he sputtered, “Wait! I know how to get you the money!” Sombra gulped. “Do you take giant crystal hearts as payment?”


“Yeah, sure.”


Sombra smirked, a little blue around the edges. “Then I have the perfect idea. To pay you back. [i]Without[/i] breaking my knees.”


“You better,” the dealer said, releasing his grip. “Or else I’ll break every bone in your body.”


Sombra rolled his eyes. “Pfft. Yeah, sure.”