“Twilight, can we talk?” The Friendship Castle had been renovated since Celestia’s last visit. Out were the gaudy amethyst crystals and tacky purple moulding. There was nary a pennanted spire or whatever those dangling ornaments were on the original balcony to be seen. In Celestia’s mind, this was an improvement. That was not to say the new design was perfect. There was a lot of red, for instance. And black. The walls were carved with a filigree of roses amidst twisted vines. Gargoyles leered down from the upper levels onto the throne room. Twilight had somehow contrived to embed an ever-flowing stream of lava beneath the clear crystal floor, such that the entire room was lit from below by an evil orange glow. A constant moaning wind blew in from the doors, through the halls, pushing supplicants ceaselessly forward toward the throne and the castle’s master. And what a throne it was. Marble, skeletally thin, borne by a pedestal of living earth ponies. They bore its weight stoically. Were it not for the drops of sweat streaming down their coats, Celestia might have imagined they were caryatids themselves. “Of course, princess!” Twilight clapped her hooves, and a gagged and blindfolded servant scuttled in, dragging a tea trolley behind her. “Would you like some tea? Or some opium?” “Tea would be nice.” Celestia sat at the foot of the throne. “I heard you’ve been making some changes around Ponyville.” “Oh, haha, yes.” Twilight ducked her head. She rubbed the back of her neck with a hoof. “I’m still getting used to it myself. It’s only been a few days, but I think ponies are starting to get used to it. It’s probably like moving into a new home, right? It feels weird at first, but by the time you know it you can barely remember the old place. I was nervous at first, but everypony has been very helpful.” “Mhm.” She accepted the tea-bearer’s offering and took a sip. It was sickly sweet with sugar and honey. “Was that a red-light district I passed on the way here?” Twilight’s ears perked up, and a smile lit her face. “Oh, you noticed! We were so excited when it opened last week! Do you know how hard it is to find that many red lanterns? There haven’t been any customers yet but we’re hopeful they’ll come once word gets out.” “Of course. Are your friends around, by any chance?” There was a flash, and a small folded notebook appeared beside Twilight. She flipped through it “Applejack and Rainbow are negotiating an arms shipment to Yakyakistan. Fluttershy is researching puppy mills. Pinkie Pie is developing new drinks with high-fructose corn syrup. And Rarity is… hm… Oh! She slaving away in the sex mines today.” “The sex mines?” “Yes, we all take turns.” “Fascinating. Anyway, I’m here to talk about that letter I sent you last week.” “The one about becoming an alicorn?” “Yes. May I see it?” “Um.” Twilight blinked. “Well, uh, sure.” She leaned over and whispered to the tea bearer, who hobbled off deeper into the castle. They waited a bit. Celestia took another sip of her tea and found it just made her even thirstier. The earth pony throne-bearers watched her curiously. "I like these collars," Celestia said. "Thank you. Rarity made them." Finally, the servant returned with a folded scroll in her mouth. She offered it to Twilight, who passed it to Celestia, who opened it. She scanned it quickly, then nodded. “As I thought. I apologize, Twilight, my penmanship can be a little ornate sometimes. This word? It should be [i]immortality[/i]. With another ‘T’.” “Huh.” Twilight took the letter back and started to read. “‘In time you will have to confront your greatest challenge, the curse all alicorns must bear, of [i]immortality[/i].’ Oh. Ooohh.” She put the letter down. “That… that makes a lot more sense, actually.” “I’m sorry, I should’ve been more clear.” “No, no, this is my fault.” Twilight hopped down and clapped her hooves. “Attention everypony! We’re going back to the way things were! Start taking down the—yes, everypony! What? I don’t know, just put them on the floor for now. We’ll figure it out later.” “I’ll get out of your mane,” Celestia stood to leave. “I can see you’re busy.” “It’s fine. We’ll get this all sorted. Oh, um, can you stop by the sex mines on the way out of town, to let Rarity out? And, uh, bring a towel. In fact, bring two.”