A year's worth of friendship reports had not prepared Princess Twilight Sparkle for [i]this[/i].

It had started so innocently: she and her friends chatting and enjoying a light in-costume snack ahead of that year's Hearth's Warming Eve pageant. They had all decided to swap parts from last year, with even Rarity agreeing that Twilight's new wings made her perfect for the role of Princess Platinum, historical inaccuracies aside.

Fluttershy had actually taken hold of the conversation at that point, talking about how her animal friends were enjoying the mild winter, when Twilight saw it in the corner of her nose. She tried to ignore it at first, thinking it would go away. But it didn't, and before long, she was captivated by it.

Every time Fluttershy breathed out, it got a little bigger. It swayed when she moved her head and jiggled when she laughed.

How had Fluttershy not noticed it? Surely everyone else had, since she'd been the center of attention for so long.

Twilight bit her lip. The pageant was going to start in less than an hour, and given that thing's tenacity, it would still be there. On Fluttershy's face. In front of hundreds of ponies. She already hated acting on stage; how much worse would it be if the audience started laughing at the huge booger hanging out of her nostril?

But what could she do? Pointing it out in front of everyone would humiliate her just as much, and possibly make her too self-conscious to go on stage. Besides, how would she even do that? She wished Rarity were sitting a little closer so she could lean over and whisper for advice. Surely [i]she[/i] would know the proper way to bring something like this to a pony's attention.

Could she wait until Fluttershy went to the washroom? No, that would be relying too much on chance. What if she didn't have to go? Maybe if she patted her own nose, it would give Fluttershy the hint without drawing too much attention. She tried it.

"Twilight, do you have an itchy nose too?" Pinkie asked almost immediately.

Fluttershy hadn't even noticed. Twilight groaned. How could she save herself?

"Uh, yeah, Pinkie. Just an itchy nose! Don't mind me, ha ha!"

[i]Great save, Princess.[/i]

"Wow, now I know for [i]sure[/i] something big is gonna happen tonight!" Pinkie bounced in her seat, Smart Cookie's floppy hat flipping back and forth, kind of like a certain nugget of gold on a certain pony's face. "I got an itchy nose and a floppy ear and so did you, and you don't even [i]have[/i] Pinkie Sense! That means it's gonna be [i]huge[/i]!"

Twilight tried to ignore Pinkie, but all she could do was stare at Fluttershy. Her little hanger-on glistened in the lights of the backstage area, yellow and brown and grey. Was Fluttershy getting sick? Did Twilight have a duty to inform her about this for the sake of her health?

No! It would still make her self-conscious! There was nothing she could do, no way out of this situation that conformed to the rules of propriety! Sweat ran down from beneath the fur-lined crown on her head. She started hyperventilating. Rainbow Dash pantomimed the aftermath of a prank, and Fluttershy laughed, the putrid pearl swaying like a blighted pendulum.

"I can't take it anymore!" Twilight shouted and loosed a beam of pure magic, wide as her foreleg, from her horn. It sizzled through the air, taking all present completely by surprise, and tore through the dangling ball of pestilence, vaporizing it with the heat of an angry sun. Not a hair on Fluttershy's face was out of place, though it did take out a large section of the costume and makeup areas.

Everything after that became deadly silent. All eyes were on Twilight, hooves up on the table, panting.

"Okay, that [i]was[/i] pretty huge!" Pinkie said, slack-jawed.

"Twi," Applejack said slowly, "what in the name o' my Great-Auntie Applesauce's false teeth has got into ya?"

"Please tell me," she huffed, "somepony else saw that! The... the giant [i]loogie[/i] hanging from Fluttershy's nose!"

Four heads shook left and right slowly. Fluttershy remained frozen, vibrating.

"Twilight," Rarity said gently, "you should always try to be [i]discreet[/i] when pointing out such things. You are a princess, after all, and doubly so tonight!"

Twilight groaned.

"Just think, Fluttershy," Rainbow Dash said, suddenly animated, "if Twilight missed, you would have had a wicked awesome scar, just like the [i]real[/i] Commander Hurricane!"

Fluttershy fainted.