“[i]In order for hurting someone to be funny, they can’t be a person.”[/i] - GapJaxie, paraphrased.


“The forging of steel demands that the impurities of iron be driven away,” Starlight muttered, appraising Pipsqueak as he trembled on the dungeon rack. “For iron is weak.”
Slinking close, she breathed on his face, the putrid scent of cheap yet affordably alcoholic perfume on her breath. “I will purify you, my foal. And in the end, you will be stronger than you ever could have imagined. You will take your birthright, and stake my claim in Equestrian history.”

Spinning in place, a single cigarette flew from its carton at the far end of the room and came to a rest a few inches from her horn. A whisper of flame licked out from the very tip and ignited it. Starlight brought the filter to her lips and took a hearty drag before exhaling the smoke into Pipsqueak’s face. As the foal coughed, she remembered her first kiss with Sunburst...

Pipsqueak made the mistake of whining as Starlight brought the lit end of her cigarette to his chest, flakes of hot ash embedding themselves in his pristine coat. “No, can’t leave a mark,” she mumbled. Her mouth split savagely when she remembered what had been in Pipsqueak’s saddlebags.

Her eyes lit with malevolence, she levitated the G. I. Pony Joe action figure out from the corner of the room she had tossed it and held it in front of Pipsqueak’s face.
“Looks expensive,” she grinned. “Looks breakable. Looks burnable.”
The cigarette floated away from Pipsqueak’s fur to hover over the toy, drawing slowly closer every moment.
“Do we want to test that sweetie?”

“Starlight!” The door to the dungeon slammed open and Twilight stepped through. Her eyes were bloodshot, and she smelled of a [s]distillery[/s] confectionary. Starlight’s lip curled. An unfortunate distraction from her process.

“What are you doing in here?” her landlord slurred, before hazy eyes focused on the ember hovering above Pip’s treasured toy. “You know you’re not supposed to smoke in here, I know I told you when you...”- Twilight decided that now was a good time to lay down on the floor, before rolling over on her side and panting -”moved in here. Yes, when you moved in here. I, I know I told you that, when you moved in here. I told you, because, when you moved in here and...” she burped. “Spike’s at an impressionable age you know, and… and…”

Starlight interrupted. “And you don’t want him to pick up any bad habits. You’re a very good big sister you know Twilight,” Starlight said, flicking her teaching aid into the trash. “You’re a very good big sister. In fact, you’re the best. That’s why you sent Spike away to dragon camp.”

“I did?” Twilight panted. “When… when did I do that?”

“It was a long time ago,” Starlight began, grinning at the memory. “When Spike was being [i]very very[/i] bad. He was getting into everypony’s business, and saying mean things about ponies that he shouldn’t have been saying. He was being a mean dragon.”

Twilight’s brow furrowed. “That doesn’t sound good. Spike’s not a mean dragon.”

“That’s right, Spike isn’t a mean dragon. That’s why I helped you send him to the best dragon camp in Equestria, so that he could learn to be a good dragon. That’s what you wanted, remember? You wanted Spike to be a good dragon.”

One of Twilight’s eyes focused on Starlight while the other roamed the room. “Makes… sense. Spike’s my good dragon.”

Reaching for a well worn envelope on top of a shelf with her magic, Starlight continued. “He’s a very good dragon. He sends you a letter every week from dragon camp, because he loves his big sister so much.”

“Spike’s my good dragon,” Twilight mumbled.

“He’s a very good dragon,” Starlight agreed. “Let’s go read the letter he sent us together. You always love reading his letters.”

Twilight smiled. “I like reading.”

“Good, let me get you up and then we can go read it.” Starlight grunted as she hefted Twilight in her magic, lip curling in disgust as her aura touched the mistake-princess. Twilight giggled as she found herself floating in the air.
Guiding Twilight out of the room, Starlight turned to glare at Pipsqueak.
 [i]Soon,[/i] her eyes promised. [i]Soon.[/i]