[i]You don’t have to.

I know.[/i]

Her pupils punctuate our soundless sister-speak: twin volcanic islands in that blue beyond my depth. I grasp and fail.

Finally Gloriana says, “I want to.”

Nothing here has spoken in three days, but now a nightingale awakens at her voice. Things brighten around Gloriana.

“We’re close. Sit with me, Jude.”

We make a ring of light inside the trees. The dark remains in the wood beyond, but I find my voice beside the fire.

“Are you ready?”

Her laughter always surprises me. “I was made to be ready.”

“Are you?”

“I’m ready, Jude, [i]we[/i] are ready. Look around you. We’ve made it.”

“As far as this, yes, together. Tomorrow you go on alone.”

“Alone.” Her child’s face grows older with her eyes, those ancient eyes.

“Alone, and for good.”

“Yes, that’s the point, isn’t it?”

“For always, I mean. I won’t see you again.”

“I’ll be with you," she says.

“How can you know that?”

“I believe, Judith. Don’t you?”

“In some things. You. Us.”

“I believe in us, too. All of us. All I’ve been shown. That’s why I’m here.”

“Ready to die.”

As soon as I say it I cringe like I’ve struck her, but Gloriana’s smile only softens.

“If death is my lot. But I think otherwise. Come, sister, won’t you please? I need you now. We have so little time.”

“Here I am, Glory. I’m staying as long as I can.”

“Aren’t you weary?” She gives me the warmth she will take to wherever she’s going. 

“I was made for this, too. For you.” 

I would be here even if I weren’t.

“Then will you tend the fire and wait with me?” she asks. “There’s not much else remaining.”

“I will. I’ll keep it bright until dawn.” 

[i]Or whatever passes for dawn in this place.[/i]

I don’t know if it’s her idea or my own, but it’s true: our dark fairytale forest is woven with a steady gloom. Time has turned stranger and harder to tell, and somewhere nearby is a place that grows darker still.

“I’m still afraid of the dark,” Gloriana says. I know she is. Her soft voice chills me. I build the fire to burn and rage, and I gather her into my arms.

“Are you sure you want to go? It doesn’t have to be this way. It could be someone else. Or some other time.”

“I have to, it has to be now. I made the choice.”

“We were children,” I say. “We made our choices after we were told fate had designs on us.”

“It’s too late to go back. Jude. I know what I’m giving up--”

[i]No you don’t no you don’t[/i]

“--or maybe I don’t. I know there are many things I will miss, and miss out on.

“You haven’t even had a chance to love anyone.”

“I love you.”

“That’s different.”

“Why?”

“There are just different kinds of love--”

“Agape, Philia, Eros...Are you talking about Eros?”

“Eros. Yes.”

“Is that one special?”

“In a way. It feels different. And it...can create life.”

How Gloriana smiles.

“So will I."

With that I am silent again.


At the end of the path the dark has gone. I take my place beside her. The gate of the sun is open. All my questions have turned inside, reduced to one: [i]Why not me? Why not me too?[/i]

Gloriana suddenly turns and sees me, hears me, grabs my hand. Her eyes are blazing with a brand new fire.

[i]Why not us?[/i]