“So y'all gonna bleed to death just to prove a point, huh.” “Hahah, what?” Pinkie gave AJ a drunk smile. “Nooo idea what you’re talking about!” “Pinkie, you look like you’re [i]tryin’[/i] to traumatize the kids now, instead of doin’ it on accident. Give me the shears.” “I’m not gonna! Hahah.” Pinkie had to hug the tree to avoid falling down. “Go celebrate your birthday! Take the day off! I got this covered.” “Yeah. In blood.” “Still counts!” Pinkie waved a hoof. “Shoo!” Blood dripped down. Little known fact about Equestrian apple trees: you need to cut off the odd branches now and then, 'cause that makes the apples taste better. Second little known fact: this was a long, arduous, [i]dangerous[/i] job. Applejack had been trained for this. Pinkie Pie had not. “It’s your birthday!” Pinkie was perched on the tree, waving the shears around and covered in massive amounts of blood. “Apple Bloom told me you have been too busy to play with her lately! Today is your chance!” “Why are you advocatin’ for sisterhood while at death’s doorstep.” “Because it’s now or never!” Pinkie wobbled again, and she had to hug the tree harder not to fall. “Whoa. Hahah. Oops.” Then she reached into her mane. “Gimme a moment!” “Pinkie.” “Back to you in a second!” “Pinkie, Ah need you to understand this is the single most gruesome thing Ah’ve ever seen. And Ah’m friends with Rainbow Dash. [i]And[/i] Twilight.” Pause. “[i]And [/i]Rarity.” “Ah-hah!” Pinkie produced a lollipop from her mane. She frowned. “Wait. These aren’t bandages.” Pause. “Eh. Same thing. Hey, Applejack! Do you think I can cover my wound with this?” “No.” “Taking that as a yes!” And Pinkie put the lollipop on top of her wound. It got stuck. The blood mixed up with the caramel and they both started dripping down. “Alright. Ah take it back. [i]This[/i] is is the most gruesome thing Ah’ve ever—is that meltin’ the caramel? Pinkie, why’s your blood so [i]hot?![/i]” “Because I’m speaking with passion!” Pinkie yelled. “Also everything is getting blurry now!” “Is that wound infected? That wound’s infected, isn’t it.” “Probably! I sure didn’t clean it before I accidentally stabbed myself. Hahah.” In any other pony, the half-witted smile that made it to Pinkie’s face would have been terrifying. This was Pinkie, though, so it looked average at best. “I’m in danger.” “Yeah! You are! Get [i]down[/i] already!” “Only if you promise me you’re going to take the day off!” “Pinkie, you’re [i]dyin’![/i]” “Yeah! I am also making a point, though.” Pinkie reached into her mane again, took out a second lollipop, put it in her mouth. “I am not paying attention to your advice even though it's harmful, because I’m very hot-headed. Right? Right?” Another pause. “See what I’m doing?” Applejack rolled her eyes. “Pinkie, Ah have a lot of work. Ah can’t help that.” “But you can! You can ask for help! Or rest a little more often. We’ve been through this before! The trees are not going anywhere. We checked!” “Pinkie—” “Working is important! Working is super duper important.” Pinkie made a bloody sad face. “But it is not the only thing that matters, even if it feels like it. I’m not telling you to stop working, just like you’re not telling me to stop bleeding to death on top of this tree—” “Ah’m absolutely one hundred percent tellin’ you that.” “—but it is important to take care of the tiny things, too! Like your birthday.” Pinkie winked at AJ. “Or playing with your little sister while she’s still little.” The blood and the caramel kept dripping down. The sound of the drops falling—[i]ploc, ploc, ploc[/i]—was like the tick-tock of a clock. Applejack sighed. “Ah guess Ah [i]can[/i] afford a day off.” “[i]Woo-hoo[/i]” Pinkie grinned. “Birthday party! I’m so good at my—oh wow I’ve lost a lot of blood hahah.” Pinkie fainted. [i]PLAF![/i] And fell off the tree. “Well. That takes care of that.” Applejack grabbed Pinkie and put her on her back. “Guess Ah’ll get Apple Bloom once Ah’m sure you ain’t—wow, your blood [i]is[/i] hot. It’s gonna be hard takin’ that lollipop out.” Pinkie Pie didn’t reply. She was unconscious. So Applejack shook her heart. “That’s the problem with you, Pinkie. Even as a bleedin’ heart, y’all gotta be all sweet.” Then, she turned her head around a little, and kissed Pinkie’s forehead. “Thank you.” And she trotted to the hospital, smile on her face, leaving behind a trail of sugar blood.