“Is it still far away?” “You know the joke, eh?” “What joke?” “‘Is America still far away?’ a boy asks his mother. ‘Shut up and swim!’ she responds.” “That's not even funny!” “Yes it is. You just have a lame sense of humour.” “Curious, I’d say the same of you.” “Cultural difference, dear. I was born in England. We know what humour is. As a matter of fact, we invented the concept.” “Come on, quit showing off! We both come from the same skid row. Why do you always have to lord over anyone as if you were of royal ascent? ‘I was born in England’, ‘I'm an intellectual’, all that bullshit. Sorry to burst your bubble, but you were raised in the gutter like all the others.” “And why don't you shut up and swim?” “It stinks here. Do you think we are in a sewer?” “I hope not. I don't want to end up in a crocodile stomach.” “How so?” “You don't know there are crocodiles in the sewerage?” “Oh bitch please! You expect me to eat that up?” “I swear to you it's true. Hundred percent.” "Are there also giant spiders in the sewerage?” “What you mean giant spiders?” “Like… that big.” “Pffft… Don't be ridiculous. But why do you ask?” “Because I just saw one right behind you.” “WHAT?” “Haha! Gotcha!” “That's not funny!” “Yes it is. You have a lame sense of humour.” “You know what? Screw you!” “Yeah, yeah, I know. But what? This is tedious. I begin to feel really fed up.” “We're not even halfway. Well I think.” “It was such a bright idea to go caving without headlamps. ‘It will add spice and thrill to the overall experience’. Spice my arse! Now we're lost. I'll never see mum again!” “Oh, you're such a negative nancy. We can't get lost, there's only one way down.” “Actually it's more up than down it seems.” “Stop nitpicking would you? Who cares if it's down or up as long as we find it.” “Find what?” “Well… It.” “What's ‘it’?” “Ahem…” “Wonderful! Now is a fine time to own up you've no idea what we're supposed to look for. I wonder how are we supposed to find something in that pitch black tunnel anyw—Ouch!” "What is it?” “I banged my head against something! Fuck!” “You head is so hollow it should've rung when you hit it. I heard zilch.” “Ha ha mister smart-aleck. It's here. Hey can you feel it now?” “Yeah. Oh my god it's huge!” “So what do we do now?” “I'm not sure but I think we're supposed to get inside.” “And how? We stand up, knock and expect someone to open the door?” “So hilarious you moron!” “You have a better plan, mister egghead? Yell the password?” “Goddammit! Could you just knock it off for this once and let me think? THINK. You know that verb, yeah?” “Haha! Mister mastermind has forgotten the user's manual. Eh? What's that?” “What have you found?” “It feels like a sort of lever. What if I pull—” “DON'T!” “Ehhhhhhh…” “Fuck! I can't believe it! That nitwit got in!” [hr] “Darling?” “Yes?” “Look! The test's positive. It's wonderful!” “What? Really? But, I mean, we fucked just once before I left for Florida.” “Well didn't you know you're an awesome stud!” “Err… Thanks!” “And I'm sure it's gonna be a genius!”