“It slices, it dices, it cooks and it cleans! It does everything! A truly multifunctional all-in-one!”

Intrigued by the enthusiasm laced within the bombastic voice of the salespony, Luna leaned in to inspect the strange device. It was small, barely the size of some of the cakes her sister would love to devour. She tapped it experimentally with her hoof. The salespony–Flim or Flam she didn’t remember–was instantly by her side.

“Ah I see you’ve taken an interest in one of our fine products! What say you, Princess, take this opportunity to allow us to demonstrate it to you?”

Luna had barely nodded in response before the pony in his pinstriped shirt magically whipped out some vegetables, a knife and a cutting board.

“You know the traditional methods of cutting up vegetables?” He cut up the vegetables slowly and unevenly. Luna had to agree that the vegetables no longer looked appealing the way he butchered them like that. “Well, Princess, you no longer have to worry about that because this machine does everything! Just slide in the vegetables like so–“ the vegetables went into the funnel at the top “–hit the button on the side–“ the curious little box started sparking and churning, Luna took a few steps back “–and hey presto!” With a cheerful *ping* the box churned out a vegetable soup that looked and smelled absolutely tantalising. It truly looked like it could do everything, but Luna was wily to assumptions about merchant goods. She asked all the prerequisite questions.

“Thou sayest anything? Art thou sure of thine quality of construction? Will thine box be up to the task for its operation?”

Flim-or-Flam nodded vigorously.

“I guarantee it, Princess! Working satisfaction or your bits back! Just a small point of interest…” The unicorn reached into his shirt and withdrew a lengthy looking scroll. “Be sure to read the manual and adhere to all the safety precautions. Without the manual, well, unfortunately we can’t service your product. Make sure you read it. Some legal matters…”

Luna drifted off as the pony recited quite a long list of legal clauses, when he was done he passed her the scroll. Luna looked dubiously at the long document. Then she smiled, she would test it herself!

“A deal has been struck!” she declared, hoofing over the requisite bits. The salespony gathered the large sack of bits and grinned form ear to ear. 

“Here you go!”

Luna couldn’t help but rub her hooves together with glee. Ah, modern science, Equestria has truly excelled technologically since the last time she had perused its markets. It seemed she had only blinked before everything changed. She glanced at the faintly gleaming metal contraption. Oh this was going to be so much fun!

[hr]

Celestia yawned and stretched, stretching out her wings in preparation for her morning ritual. The mornings were a time of peace for the solar princess and she savoured every moment of the quiet solitude that–

“SISTER! WE HATH A MATTER OF GREAT IMPORT TO IMPART TO THEE!”

Or she could have it all shattered by the only family member that would burst into her room like that. Never mind the awkward position of her splayed buttocks in the air whilst she had been completing her stretches, or the shocked expressions and their reddening reactions of the guards as they whipped their heads back from leaning in for a look, or the fact that Luna had broken down the doors in her haste to convey important information.

[i]This[/i], Celestia thought, [i]had better be freaking important[/i].

From Luna’s expression Celestia veered away from her initial assumption that the world was about to end. She carefully rearranged her posture so that she wouldn’t be embarrassing herself anymore and faced her overly enthusiastic sibling.

“Oh sister! Thou hast to have thine hoof at this!” She brought out a strange metallic object with a funnel on top. “It does everything!” she cackled, looking around the room. She trotted over to Celestia’s desk and swept up a bunch of scrolls and dumped them into the machine. Before the alicorn could object, the button was pressed and the machine churned and hummed as it worked its magic. With a *ping* a bowl was served with a year’s worth of taxation and accounting reports served deliciously with creamy mushroom sauce.

“Luna,” Celestia spoke in the silence that preceded. “Did you read the manual?”

Luna shrugged sheepishly.

“Nopony doth read manuals, sister.”