Somewhere in all the infinite realities the advertisements had promised Luke, there had to be one out there where this beer tasted good.

A burly traveler wearing a horrifying Hawaiian shirt stumbled out of the arrivals gate and sat down in the seat next to Luke, nearly spilling his beer.

The traveler motioned the bartender over and leaned over to Luke. “Excuse me,” he said, “what’s the best beer in this universe?”

The bartender rolled his eyes and reached for a stack of fancy plastic cups. 

Luke crumpled his old cup impatiently. The traveler saw this and patted him on the shoulder. “Nervous about the trip?”

“Just anxious for it to be over,” Luke replied. 

“Don’t be. All those conspiracy theorists are fulla garbage. It’s perfectly safe. I actually checked out their website one time, and those freaks actually believe the portal vaporizes you when you walk through.” He nodded to the bartender and grabbed his drink. “They’re the ones who are afraid.”

“How many other worlds have you been to?” Luke asked. 

“How many realities,” the traveler corrected him. “This is my fourteenth. I wish they gave out frequent flyer miles!” He let out a big laugh. “Then again, all the portal companies are running off the airline model. What can you do?”

Luke nodded. “The ads make it look nice.”

“They do, don’t they. Problem is, all those nice ads target weak people. The ones who just got dumped or don’t fit in at their job. It’s malicious. I do this for fun, but imagine some poor sap stepping through that portal and then finding it’s even worse on the other side. It’s not like you can go back.” He shook his head and laughed again, that irritating guttural laugh that made Luke wish the portal had vaporized him after all. “That’s not why you’re here at the bar, is it? Traveler’s remorse?”

Luke shook his head. “With any luck I’ll be leaving soon.”

“Where are you going?”

“Home, hopefully.”

Luke felt the man’s hand on his shoulder again, something that was probably supposed to feel reassuring but in this context just felt weird. “That’s great. Really nice.” 

The traveler finished his beer in a weird silence, but perked right up as soon as he was done. “Well, nice chatting. I’m gonna tear this reality inside out--no offense if it’s yours.”

Luke watched him stumble away with that same lope all travelers seemed to suffer from after a few too many trips through the portals. Headfirst and stilted, like they were still flying through time and space.

Luke went back to his beer and started at the arrivals gate.

If there were an infinite number of parallel universes, and an infinite number of earths, and an infinite number of earths that hadn’t been killed off by the million close calls that no one ever seemed to account for until they started turning into realities somewhere else--in all those realities, there had to be one where there was a girl looking for him. One where he had been killed off somehow. One where she couldn’t take it without him.

And, statistically speaking, there had to be at least one world where that girl could buy a one-way ticket to any infinite reality she wanted. One where she had the courage to come to him. One where he didn’t have to give up everything just to be happy. Was that too much to ask? To be happy without struggle? To find a place in a world, even if it was this one--especially if it was this one?

The arrivals gate opened. A few dazed travelers stumbled out. They teetered around in the holding pen for a minute until everyone was good to go, then security let them go. Amazing, the long arm of the TSA. 

Luke watched them file past one by one. Once they were all gone, he looked at his watch and ordered another beer. It came in a fancy plastic cup.

A burly traveler wearing a horrifying Hawaiian shirt stumbled out of the arrivals line and sat down in the seat next to Luke, nearly spilling his beer.

The traveler motioned the bartender over and leaned over to Luke. “Excuse me,” he said, “what’s the best beer in this universe?”

The bartender rolled his eyes and reached for another fancy plastic cup. Outside the bar, TSA announcements filtered from ceiling speakers in a static hush.