"[i]Excuse[/i] me?" Cheerilee said. "Apple Bloom, did you just say what I think you said?"

"Huh?" Apple Bloom said. She looked up from the floor, where she and Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were coloring in pictures with crayons. "I was just tellin' Scootaloo not to use all the colors up, cause giraffes ain't even supposed to be rainbowy."

Cheerilee glared at her. "That's quite enough, young filly. I heard you loud and clear, and I think you need to go to the principal's office [i]this instant[/i]."

Apple Bloom looked over at her friends. Sweetie Belle shrugged.

"Yes ma'am," Apple Bloom said, and trudged out of the classroom and all the way to the principal's office.

Cheerilee was waiting inside when she arrived. Apple Bloom hated going to a small town school. 

"Miss Bloom," Principal Cheerilee said, "your homeroom teacher says that she heard you use very improper language. Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"I didn't say anythin' bad, I swear!" Apple Bloom said. "I mean, I just said 'swear' right there, but that's not the same thing as swearin', I'm pretty sure. Y'all gotta cut me a break."

Cheerilee gasped. "I cannot believe it. And you are such a promising student! This is going to go on your permanent record, I hope you know."

"Wait, what?" Apple Bloom protested "That ain't fair!"

"No more backtalk, or I'll have you wash your mouth out, little miss."

"At least tell me what I'm sayin' that's bad," Bloom muttered. "Y'all are crazy."

There was a slamming sound as Cheerilee hit the desk with both her hooves. She gave Apple Bloom a look that could have spoiled a jug of milk.

Apple Bloom groaned and sank down into her seat. 

[hr]

Apple Bloom's mouth tasted like soap all the way home. She had three different documents that she was supposed to get a parent or guardian's signature on, as well as sixteen and a half weeks of double-secret-plus detention, whatever that meant.

"Applejack, will you be my ma and sign this?" Bloom said morosely, setting the papers on the kitchen table.

"Sure thing, sugarcube. What all—" She saw 'DETENTION' written on the top sheet. "Whoa nelly, what'd y'all get yourself into this time?"

Apple Bloom bounced up and down. "See? Exactly! They said I said a bad word!"

"Ah see." Applejack frowned. "Thought Ah raised ya better than that. What in tarnation did ya say this time?"

"I just said 'y'all,'" Apple Bloom whined. "Apparently that's not okay anymore?"

Applejack gasped. "Ma always said this day would come."

"Huh?" Apple Bloom said, but Applejack was busy opening the farmhouse's kitchen window.

"Big Mac!" Applejack shouted outside, toward the barn. "Get the shotgun and call the militia, we're goin' off the grid! Big government's here to take our accents!"

"Ee-yup!" he shouted back from somewhere.

"Wait, what?"

"Thay kin' tayke mah ridickyalahs acksent offan' mah dehd bodahy!" Applejack said.

"I can't even understand ya anymore, Sis."

Applejack was already gone, screaming something about pegasus chemtrails and flouride in the water supply.

Bloom was left alone with her paperwork. 

"Well, [i]fuck[/i]," she said.