The room was filled with chatter. People catching up after not seeing each other for months or years at the time, sharing memories and old stories. Some laughed, some smiled, some just sat staring at the middle of the room. There was a shared air of sadness to them.

Not me, though. I just wanted my sandwich. Then I could leave.

I sat there, trying my hardest not to catch anyone’s attention. Hopefully this wouldn’t last too long, I had better things to do than staying the whole afternoon. Maybe none came to mind right now, but I was sure I could think of something once I was out. Once someone gave me my sandwich, I could get over this entire ordeal and leave.

I squirmed in my seat. Not too much, though. I was just cold, I knew I should have brought a bigger jacket. Then again, I didn’t expect to stay for as long as I did.

Rubbing my hands against each other seemed to do the trick; for the time being, at least. I wondered if I could get a cup of coffee, too. Though that would probably require standing up. And talking to people. And all that would entail.

Nobody paid me any mind. Good. I kept to myself, rubbing my hands against each other.

If I had to wait, I better find something to entertain myself. Despite my best efforts, I let out a soft chuckle when I though what he may have said to lighten up the mood.

I shook my head, as though that would help. Why were they taking so long? How hard can it be to take a some bread and put something in them?

“Glad you could make it, Sarah”

There was a part of me that was happy to see him, I suppose, but there was another, larger part of me that wished he hadn’t noticed me. Still, he did, so there was no point in trying to blend in anymore.

“Hi, Jamie.”

He leaned forward, but halted midway through. He probably was going for a hug before thinking better of it. I wouldn’t have minded, if only because of the cold.

“It’s good to see you here,” he said with a smile. One that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“You already said that,” I replied. “It’s good to see you, too.”

I meant that, I really did. I omitted the here, though.

“You had the chance to talk with anyone?”

“No.”

He doubted, not sure if he should say something. He still did. “I’m sure everyone would love to talk, it’s been a while.”

“I won’t be staying much longer, I have plans,” I said back. I didn’t say will but he knew.

He looked away. He tried to keep smiling, but I knew better. I didn’t mean to hurt him, it’s just that I will have plans for tonight. Most likely.

“Did you—”

“I’m waiting for my sandwich,” I cut him off.

“What?”

That caught him off guard. I just pointed at the kitchen door, where aunt Lily stepped out carrying a tray of little sandwiches. About time. No coffee, though.

“Oh… I should tell you they’re heavy on avocadoes.”

Of course. He knew I hated avocadoes, it wouldn’t surprise me if he asked them to serve avocado sandwiches because of that.

“Guess that’s it, then,” I said, standing up. “See you, later, Jamie.”

“Sarah, wait.” He wasn’t loud. Loud enough for me to hear, but not so much so anyone else could. “Did you at least say goodbye?”

This was something I couldn’t skip, it seemed.

“Want to go together?”

I nodded. May as well make it quick.

He stood up, but waited for me to take the first step. Maybe he was afraid I’d walk away if he wasn’t watching. Can’t say it wasn’t tempting.

We walked to the centre of the room and stood just a few steps away.

“Dad knew I hated avocadoes,” I said.

Jamie shrugged. “It was his way of teasing you, you’re the only one in the family who doesn’t like them.”

I lay a hand over the casket, doing my best to keep calm.

“You don’t have to play strong, sis,” Jamie said.

“But I do,” I say as I ignore the wet sensation on my cheeks.

He wrapped his arm over me and pulled me closer. “Let’s get you that sandwich.”

“No avocadoes,” I say between silent sobs.

“Wouldn’t think of it,” he smiled. And he meant it.