Prompt Parcel was not in the habit of being late. But having her personal horoscope say: “take some time to smell the roses - too prompt of action will lead to disaster,” was enough to give even her pause. With that in mind, she chose a slightly longer route to work, but even though it avoided all the flower stands and most of the parks, there were still over two dozen roses in bloom along the way, and smelling the blossoms took almost a second and a half each. Despite only eating one, it was still enough that she stepped into the mailroom of the Canterlot central post office almost four seconds after the clock struck eight. The normal morning hubbub seemed subdued, and Prompt soon spotted why as all her coworkers were gathered around the postmaster, Route Presort. She headed for the group, stepping into the inner circle just in time to hear some of the most dreaded words of mailmaredom: “So, any volunteers?” Prompt froze in place, but her shoulders itched as she felt dozens of eyes upon her. “Ah, Prompt.” The itching intensified as now Route Presort gave her his attention. “Noble of you to volunteer so soon after returning from your sabbatical.” Her mouth opened to protest, but a side glance showed that she was indeed standing several hooflengths ahead of everypony else. “Yes sir,” came out instead, and she suppressed a grimace as Presort held out a package. The herd broke up and Prompt stared at the package in her hoof. It seemed normal enough at first glance - a parcel about the size and weight of a large book, wrapped in brown paper and bound in twine, but her ears drooped when she saw that the recipient was one Discord Q. Draconequus of i Confusion way, End of All Things, Chaos. Prompt’s ears went flat as she looked around the room, everypony else having already returned to their various tasks. No Rush wasn’t here, of course. And all the others she got along pretty well with. There was one new face in the crowd, though - she remembered her vaguely from yesterday’s party. She sidled up to the coffee maker, “Hey, Flat Rate, who’s that teal unicorn over by the bins?” Flat Rate looked up from her sorting. “Hmm? You mean Indicia?” “Yeah. Is she new?” “This is her third day now, I think.” Prompt Parcel grinned. “Perfect. Thanks Flat!” She approached the slender mare, noting her long, rose and violet mane and deft telekinesis as she loaded letters into her saddlebags. Surprising she was a mailpony, really, but she did have a stamped letter for a cutie mark. “Hi. You’re Indicia?” Indicia jumped at her voice, her rose eyes going wide. “Oh! Um, yes. You’re Prompt Parcel right? The one who just got back from Zebrica? That was a very nice welcome back party everypony threw.” Prompt gave her a grin that had more teeth than cheer. “Sure am. And it was a nice sabbatical. Now c’mon. I need your help with this delivery.” “What?” Indicia looked like she’d been hit in the back of the head with a board. “But I’m supposed to be covering the uptown route today,” she said, looking over to where Route Presort stood across the hall and trying to catch her eye. Route Presort turned away, not seeming to notice, and Prompt nudged Indicia in the flank until she started moving. “Not anymore. Trust me, this takes precedence. Now hurry up already and follow me.” She paused to push Indicia’s saddlebags away. “You won’t need these.” “What? Where are we going?” Indicia said, her ears flat as she was herded away from the main hall. Prompt hoofed over the parcel. “We’re going to deliver this package to Discord - spirit of chaos and disharmony.” Indicia cocked her head as she levitated the package in front of her. “Confusion way? That doesn’t sound like one of the Canterlot streets. Or any kind of street really, to be honest.” “It’s an irregular route,” Prompt said, pulling open a supply room and ducking inside. “We only run it if we have a delivery, or if the cuckoo clock in the postmaster’s office crows to tell us we have a pickup.” She kept moving as she talked, filling her saddlebags with an assortment of items that made Indicia stare at her like she’d grown a second head - especially the last one, what looked like a toy dog mounted atop a model train engine. Prompt didn’t give her time to think it over, though before she lead them over a nearby storeroom. This one was nearly empty, except for a lopsided magic circle circled by a model railroad track. Indicia shuffled her hooves. “Um. I’m not really an expert in magic circles, but that one doesn’t look quite right.” “Don’t worry about it - it’ll work. Here do a useful unicorn thing,” Prompt said, as she started laying the items out at various points in the design. There were bits of a broken picket fence, a watch running backwards, a vial of invisible ink, and a mailbox that said P. Pie, among other items. “Charge the dog and set it on the track.” Indicia gritted her teeth, but nodded mutely as she channeled a little magic into the dog and set it down. It immediately started moving forwards, making surprisingly unsettling woofing noises as it ran its circuit. Prompt had opened a window, and now returned to the circle, moving towards a brazier at the edge. “Okay, now chase the dog around the circle three times.” “What?” Prompt rolled her eyes. “You see, the postmare has to chase the…” She sighed. “Nevermind. Just do it.” Indicia grumbled, but started after the mechanical pooch, while Prompt lit a returned return notice and dropped it into the brazier. As Indicia completed the third lap, the smoke coalesced into a vertical disk which then burst into scintillating color. There it hung, a hooflength off the floor, the edges undulating gently while it emitted a slow, gurgling noise like a frog gargling marbles. “Uh. Okay then, looks like it worked,” Indicia said, making a beeline to the door. She was halfway there before Prompt stuck a hoof out in front of her. “Where do you think you’re going?” “Uh, back?” Indicia said, shying away from Prompt’s gaze. “The portal’s open, right?” Prompt shook her head. “You’re not done just yet. It takes two to make one of these deliveries safely.” “What? Are you sure? This wasn’t in the manual.” “Yes, I’m sure. None of us want to end up like Parcel Post. Come on, I’ll be right behind you,” Prompt said, turning Indicia around so that she faced the portal. Indicia gulped and looked at Prompt uncertainly for a few moments, but finally stepped through. Prompt was right on her tail, though she couldn’t resist a shudder as passing through the portal always felt like lukewarm oatmeal sliding through her coat, though it was always perfectly clean afterwards. The ground here was soft underneath her hoof, though it looked like they were standing on a small island of polished marble floating in midair. There was a breeze of some sort, carrying the scent of burnt marshmallows, though the air wasn’t hot, or cold. She suspected that she might not even have to breathe, but she wasn’t about to test that theory out. There were no walls, and the sky was a twisting swirl of color within which small patches of terrain and other less-identifiable things bobbed gently. Indicia stood stock still just a few paces away, staring around a little wild eyed. “It does take some getting used to.” “Get used to?” Indicia’s voice was a few octaves higher than usual. “How could anyone possibly get used to this? It doesn’t make any sense at all.” “Well, the inhabitant is arguably crazy, but don’t worry, the quicker we get going, the quicker we’ll get out of here.” Indicia looked around and did her best not to hyperventilate. This was not what she’d signed up to the Equestrian Postal Service for. Snow, rain, heat, parasprites and the occasional barking dog she could handle. But this? This was another level entirely. Just the swirling sky alone was enough to make her dizzy. But what would her parents think if she quit on her third day of work? She grit her teeth. They had been so proud of her when she got her cutie mark, and her father had practically glowed when she started following in his hoofprints. Indicia took a deep breath and forced her legs into motion, though she couldn’t resist a dark look at the pony who had so cavalierly dragged her into this mess. She didn't even have a mail cutie mark - just one of those seemingly omnipresent hourglasses. “Okay then, let’s go,” she said, trotting ahead before she could lose her nerve. They left the first island via a rope bridge, albeit one missing the ropes. It took all of Indicia’s effort to ignore the vertigo as she stepped between the floating planks, no matter how much stabler they were compared to those of an actual rope bridge. She breathed an enormous sigh of relief as they reached a more normal island on the far side. Normal was a relative term here, however. This particular island was some sort of confectioner’s dream, like a gingerbread house had begat a town, but one scaled up big enough for ponies to live in. Prompt gestured for her to proceed, and the two of them wound down a country lane, but one where the fields were sprouting lollipops, and the rails were of candy canes. Indica went to give them a sniff, but Prompt shook her head. “Word to the wise - they don’t taste as good as they look.” They continued, and a little ways further the path turned to the side and they were hopscotching across the fields on a trail of candies. “Watch out for the black ones,” Prompt said, just as Indica’s hoof landed on one such and she got a giant gout of licorice juice to the face. “Whoops, sorry!” Prompt Parcel was not a fan of roller coasters at the best of times, but this one had looked like the most direct route, and it’s not like any twisty course it could take would be all that much worse than anything else around here. Judging by her expression, Indicia hadn’t liked the ride any more than she had, though, so at least things were still working out. “The clock is ticking - let’s go,” Prompt said, gesturing to the far end of the island, where swan boats glided majestically up from a vat of chocolate. Indicia gave her a flat look. “You the one who knows this area. You’re still going first.” Prompt shrugged. “Fine, fine, follow me.” They set out across the island, heads swiveling as they passed among more twisted carnival rides. Prompt slowed as they reached the concession area, and saw Indicia’s attention captured by a pack of animate, giant hot dogs romping around inside an equally giant pen. “Some really weird creatures here,” Indica said, as the dogs clustered on the other side of the fence from her. “Yeah. Not everypony gets to see this sort of thing. You really should relish the encounter.“ The dog’s eyes widened and several started to inflate. Prompt waited until just the right second before bellowing “Duck!” at the top of her lungs. Indica shrieked and dropped to the floor just as the creatures let out several searing jets of flame. Prompt let out a sigh of relief as Indica glared up at her, a wide swath of her mane reduced to a blackened fringe. “Whoops.” Indica liked music, but even this new island of singing flowers couldn’t calm her down right now. Every step she took, she felt a little off balance, and the reek of burnt hair was pervasive. At least the little path they walked on was wide enough to walk abreast. All the better to avoid any more nasty surprises, and share the smell with Prompt as much as possible. Prompt looked over, and Indicia could swear her eyes lingered on the burnt hairs as she smiled. “Looks like we’re almost there.” Indicia put a little extra stomp in her step. “We’d better be.” They continued in silence and the road gradually widened and the shoulders turned to muddy ruts “Alright, we should head off to the sides now,” Prompt said, moving off the pavers and towards the muck. “Buck you,” Indica said, striding down the center of the lane. She made it barely two steps before the surface gave way beneath her hooves and she screamed as the swirling sky below her filled her vision. Then the plummet stopped with a sharp yank in her tail, and inch by inch she was hoisted back up, the stones scraping her belly and legs until she was finally laying on the rock, shaking. Prompt’s voice was tight. “What were you thinking? If you fall off and float away, you never know how long it’ll take to get back!” Indica blinked away tears in her eyes as she whirled around. “What was I thinking?” What was [i]I[/i] thinking? No. What were YOU thinking? What the buck were you thinking taking me here and dragging me around like this? This is insane! And wipe that bucking smile off of your face.” Prompt shook her head. “Hold that thought - we’re here.” “What?” Indicia said, blinking. The path and flowers were gone - now the two of them somehow sat in front of a small, oddly constructed cottage. A head poked out the door, without bothering to open it. Indica found her boiling fury momentarily suspended by the yellow eyes and mismatched horns. “Oh, splendid!” he said, clapping his hands together in glee. “I’ve been waiting quite a long time for this, you know. 4.47 billion years, in fact.” He snapped his fingers and the parcel appeared in front of him. “Hmm. Half seems to be missing. I’ll have to leave appropriate feedback.” Prompt wordlessly held out the delivery slip. He sniffed and with a snap of his fingers, it signed itself. “No matter, then here you go!” he said, before vanishing with a wave of his paw. A moment passed, and then another. Indica had just turned towards Prompt and opened her mouth when Discord popped his head back out the door. “Oh, and you know, I [i]am[/i] reformed these days. So, as much as I appreciate the courtesy, having a flaming row is just not necessary to visit anymore.” Prompt blinked. “It’s not?” “Of course not! What would Fluttershy think? Now, toodles!” Discord snapped his fingers again and in a flash of light they found themselves back in the field of singing flowers once more, although now they’d moved on to showtunes. “Wait, so the uptown route...” Prompt still had a stunned look in her eyes. “Uh, yeah.” Indica snorted. “Like I said, Route Presort assigned it to me.” Prompt bit her lip. “Normally she’d make sure to cover whichever mailponies left on an irregular run, but if she’s only expecting one…” she trailed off before burying her face in her hooves. “I’m so bucked.” “Excuse me?” Indica stamped her hoof. “It’s my route we’re talking about here!” “No, no, it was my fault,” Prompt said, shaking her head. “I should’ve read up more on changes to the regs. I’ll take full responsibility.” “So, all of that.” Indica said icily, waving her hoof vaguely back down the path. “That was intentional?” Prompt hung her head. “Yeah, I’m really sorry. The mud and the hot dogs, those were my fault. Even if you hadn't ducked, the fire wouldn't have hurt you, though, and I didn’t mean for you to fall. Honest.” “And this wasn’t some sort of hazing, initiation prank thing?” Prompt shook her head, still looking at the ground. “No. The best way to find Discord has always been, with, well... [i]discord[/i]. In the past, I’d always partner up with No Rush. Celestia, he always took so long to get ready I was about ready to pull out my own mane, but then when we finally went we’d show up practically on Discord’s doorstep.” She let out a short, bitter laugh. “Naturally there was no sign of him this morning, though.” “I see.” Indica was silent for a long moment, her thoughts racing even as her emotions gradually gelled. “You owe me a manecut.” “Of course.” “And there’s still the matter of my route.” “Like I said, I’ll take full responsibility.” Indica shook her head. “I’m not interested in blame. I’m a mailpony. Responsibility to me is getting everypony their mail.” “Then I will do my absolute best for you,” Prompt said, bowing her head. “It’s already one twenty three, though. Some of it might be late.” Indicia let out a long breath, and then extended her hoof. “Maybe if only one pony delivers it. But with two...”