John had always heard that lawyers went to hell, but he thought that was just hyperbole. He didn’t think they went there, well the non-corrupted ones anyway. When he had been hit by a car, he thought he would a least get to see Saint Michael first. Nope, once he awoke, he had appeared in hell. Right in front of Satan himself. “Um, I-I think there as been some sort of m-mistake, sir…” John began. “Your John the Lawyer, right?” Satan asked. “Y-yes I’m John Was-” John said, before Satan cut him off. “So, John the Lawyer, are you aware that lawyers get sent straight to Hell when they die?” Satan asked curiously, as if wanting to know the answer. “I always thought if was a figure of spe-” “Well now you know.” Satan said dismissively, trying to shoo John away. Two demons had appeared to drag John away. He tried to struggle, to break free, but he was powerless against them. “That’s absurd! I can’t wait for Hell to freeze over!” John yelled at Satan. “Now THAT is absurd! You would in Hell! It is known for fire and brimstone after all!” John wanted to argue, but he had just thought of something. “Are you willing to bet your throne on that?” Satan laughed, “Are you kidding me, why would I bet my throne? You can’t prove that Hell would freeze over! Besides, why would I accept such a deal anyways?” It was John’s turn to laugh, “Because that would be admitting to everyone that you was afraid that you would lose a bet with a mortal!” Satan stopped laughing. He looked toward the two demons in the room. They was watching everything unfold. The ball was in the mortal’s court. John knew he was playing with fire here, but if he could get Satan to agree to the deal… Satan thought for a moment, then sighed. “I will agree to your wager, but only on one condition. You have to explain how Hell would freeze over first, rather than just you burning. And it has to be convincing!” John paused for a moment, “I’ll accept those conditions, so do we have a deal?” [hr] John was sitting on Satan’s throne. With a bit of common sense, mechanic knowledge, and deductive reasoning, John managed to dethrone Satan as the king of Hell. Since souls don’t have matter, they would be considered energy. It is an assumption, but it can be reasoned that the torture that the demons inflict upon the damned is what causes the heat in Hell. So the souls that had been in Hell for a long time would produce less heat than the newer souls. However, Hell would have to expand to accommodate from the new souls. This could be assumed base on the thousands of years of human history and John personal experience. John explained that since Hell wasn’t overcrowded, it proved that Hell was expanding. Since Hell was expanding, it would take more souls to heat up the newly created space for the new souls. Slowly, but surely, Hell was growing colder and colder. Thus Hell would freeze over before anyone burned in Hell. Satan hung his head, and turned over the rule of Hell to John the Lawyer. As John’s first order of business, he told the demons of Hell to place a sign in different parts of Hell. “Hell is now under new management.”