The road to insanity is paved a single drip at a time. Oliver was already most of the way down that road and approaching the interchange to commitment by midnight. He got up, went into the bathroom, and regarded the evil porcelain god which was driving him crazy. “Tomorrow, you’re getting a new flapper thingie,” he muttered before reaching underneath the toilet and turning the valve off. An hour later, as the constant dripping had been supplemented by the quiet whine of a leaky shut-off valve, Oliver tromped downstairs and managed to find the household water cutoff while rehearsing the speech he was going to give Dave later. “Dave, thanks for letting me use your house for my interviews this week while you were out. By the way, I fixed your toilet. You’re welcome.” The next day, there was no water for the shower, so he had to dash downstairs, turn on the valve, and proceed with his scheduled activities, slightly delayed. The job interviews went well, comparatively, so he stopped by the hardware store and picked up the widgets needed to fix Dave’s toilet. Of course, they were the wrong ones. Of course, the hardware store was closed when he went back. Of course, the original parts had gotten broken a little when being removed. The next day’s interviews, slightly fragrant from lack of showering, went… not quite as well. This time when he stopped by the hardware store, he bought one of everything. He could always return what he did not use. By slightly after closing time, he realized he had bought [i]almost[/i] one of everything. Thankfully, he had enough of Dave’s wet towels to make a good simulation of a bath. The job interviews the next day went perfectly. Oliver could feel the rising sensation of anticipation. Or perhaps all the hand sanitizer was soaking through his skin. Afterward, the hardware store clerk greeted him by name. The part he needed was missing from the store shelves, but after a little begging and pleading, they found it in a nearby store. He returned to Dave’s house, armed and ready for battle. This time, the bathroom’s PVC pipe broke off inside the wall. Before Oliver got the water turned off, it soaked a good chunk of the basement and much of Dave’s stored stuff. It was fine. Everything was fine. No problem. Oliver went out into the garage and got a gallon of gasoline from the lawn mower. He practiced his speech. “I’m sorry, Dave. I don’t know what happened. You have insurance, right?”