"The last one?  You're sure?"

The green unicorn mare nodded, not turning towards him.  Her eyes were locked on the carnage.  It was the thousand yard stare.

"By the gates of Tartarus..."

Bolt glanced nervously back at his partner, his armor rustling at the movement.  Lance was staring at him with wide eyes.  This was bad.  This was very very bad.  They needed to get out of here.  Every instinct was telling him to run.  Lance's expression hardened.

[i]You're sure?[/i]  Bolt asked with his expression.  Lance nodded back at him.  Right.  They were royal guards.  They had taken an oath to protect Equestria and its citizens.  Bolt returned his attention to the shell shocked mare.

"Miss, I need you to evacuate the area."

Her ear twitched.  She blinked.  "Wha-?"

Lance took over, assuming the posture drilled muscle memory by countless hours of training.  "This is a dangerous situation.  Please let the royal guard handle it."

Her eyes flickered back and forth between them.  "Are you sure?  I could-"

Bolt cut her off.  "Go.  Now."  He stood straight next to Lance.

Her eyes welled up with tears.  She nodded gratefully to them, and without another word, took off, galloping down the hall.  Bolt watched her go, then turned back to the scene.  Lance had already returned his gaze to the floor and clearly was one step ahead of him.

"We're dead," said Lance.  "We are so bucking dead."  Bolt couldn't agree more.  This was a disaster of epic proportions.  Bolt could only nod as he surveyed the damage once more.

A slice of cake lay in the T junction of the hall.  It had been brutally smashed by gravity.  Its fluffy innards had crumbled, and its decadent white frosting was smeared over a far larger area than Bolt thought possible.

Princess Celestia's cake was ruined.

Bolt glanced down at his armor.  There was frosting and crumbs all over his right shoulder, just like Lance's left.

Panic.

"She's going to banish us," said Bolt.  "We're going to Tartarus for this.  She's going to lock us in a dungeon and throw away the key."

"Hey, keep it quiet." said Lance.

But Bolt's mouth suddenly couldn't stop.  "She's going to visit us every day and eat a slice of cake right in front of us."

Lance lightly punched Bolt's pauldron.  "Shut up!  And she wouldn't do that.  This is Princess Celestia we're talking about here."

Bolt glared at Lance.  "Yeah!  The princess of the freaking sun who just happens to love cake!  Which we ruined!"

Lance shook his head.  "It's not that bad.  Sure, we might get kicked out of the castle, but seriously, what's the worst that could happen?"

"I don't know!" replied Bolt.  "How about double shifts in Ponyville watching [i]the pink one?[/i]"

Lance stared at him for a moment.  "What do we do?"

"[i]What[/i] is going on here?"

Both guards turned to face the new voice behind them, then stood ramrod straight.  "Lieutenant Armor!" exclaimed Bolt.  "We were- We..."  The words died in his throat as the Lieutenant took stock of their armor and the cake behind them.

He glared at them.  "Privates, what is the meaning of this?"

Bolt thought furiously to try to come up with a good explanation, but Lance beat him to it. "It's our fault, sir.  We didn't watch where we were going as we rounded the corner."  Nothing for it then.  Lance had already caved, so there was no point in denying it in front of a superior officer.  Bolt nodded.

Shining Armor glanced back at the cake and sighed.  "Boys, get this cleaned up.  I'll inform the Princess."

Bolt frowned, confused.  "Sir?"

The Lieutenant shook his head.  "I was going to see the Princess anyway.  I've got this.  Make sure to wash your uniforms."  With that, he trotted past them.  They stared after him in stunned silence.

Lance turned to Bolt.  "Holy horseapples, we're not dead."



"Oh, that's alright Shining.  I just realized I have several things to take care of anyway.  Perhaps you could join Cadance for tea instead?"  Princess Celestia brusquely walked out the door, leaving behind a confused stallion and a blushing pink princess.

Shining blinked, then froze in confusion.  "That was... Why did she only order one slice of cake?"

Candance's blush deepened.  "I don't think she's as subtle as she thinks."

Shining Armor blinked again, contemplating the significance of Princess Celestia having him share a slice of cake with his marefriend.  "Oh."

Those guards were definitely getting latrine duty.