To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com That creeps on my porch giving me wolf whistles. Im calling the police. Cant sleep. Wanna talk? Also sorry bout spelling mistakes. Really not feeling smart tonight. Solo pub crawl. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX [hr] To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com Not George again? I’ll have a word with him tomorrow in math. Yay you did my pub thing! Feels good? Zach [hr] To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com Hes weird. You help some poor dude getting bullied, textbooks thrown on the floor, and he stalks you. I shoulda let him get bullied. Wolf whistles NOT COOL. Math homework sorted? You struggling wit that? No, feel like shit. Hangovers suck. Thanks for nothing. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX [hr] To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com George still there? He’ll give up. That’s why he sucked at gym. God, don’t remind me. I can’t figure this out. You? With biology, I mean? Sorry to hear that. Thought pubbing might be good for your stress. Zach [hr] To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com Bio easy as pie. I dunno tho. Maybe I should dumb homework down? Don’t wanna look too nerdy. Mary and Tina not talking to me now. I wish they did. It hurts. Boys beat each other up to bully and I wish Mary’d just do that, get it over with. Bet it hurts less. Weird creepy psycho George still here. Seriously Im calling the police. Still feel awful. You come over tonight? I got better idea for de-stressing, IYKWIM. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX [hr] To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com Don’t dumb it down, kay? You’re smart and funny and beautiful and honest. You are my gold package. Mary and Tina are the elitist bitches, not you. It’s not your fault they can’t study like you. Don’t call the police on him! You’ll give him a criminal record. He’s a retard, not a psycho. Wait him out. He’ll leave. Oh, IKWYM all right! I think. IYKWIM = If Ya Know What I Mean? Zach [hr] To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com It’s not just them. Everyone think sI’m funny. Ever since I got back from Oxford, they think my head’s always up my ass. I chucked out some Latin for fun once and they looked at me like I killed someone. I really, really want that placement, but do I have to throw my friends under a bus too? I can’t do that to them. They helped me out at school when I had that trouble with Sandra. I NEED them. Alright I wont, but he’s freaky. Doing wolf impressions now. Honest to god it’s scary. Why won;t he’d fuck off? *rolls eyes* Yes you got that right. But you know what IYKWIM really means, smart boi? XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX [hr] To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com You’re smarter than me, gal. Oxford would be great for you! Brendan told me it’s stiffer than a dead guy, but it’s top of the college charts. You could go places! Don’t throw that away. Please, you deserve the best. You don’t have to throw your friends under a bus. Just talk to them. They’ll come around. Yeah, he doesn’t understand people being nice =/= people want him 24/7. Seriously, cut him some slack. I helped him through school. He’s like a puppy dropped from birth. Also, IYKWIM. Real quick: is it sex? Zach [hr] To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com Oh god. He’s gone quiet now. I had to check he’s still there. And I feel like crap. Please help me! [hr] To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com You forgot the XXXXXX thing! You okay? Zach [hr] To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com Fuckkin get over here. HES BREAKING IN [hr] To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com Heading ovr [hr] [hr] To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com I’m home again. Sending as promised. You okay? [hr] To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com How the hell did you do that!? [hr] To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com I told you. He wasn’t trying to break in. He just hits the window over and over. It’s like a tic. Just say reassuring things; he leaves eventually. George is an oddball, yeah, but I’ve spent time with the guy. I know what he does and why he does it. And he’s spent time with me too, knowing me and stuff. That’s all there is to it. Zach. [hr] To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com Alright. How’s this? All of us spend time together sometime. Me, you, Mary, Tina, and Brendan. I can’t remember when we last went out together. Anyway, drinking by myself was crap. Thanks. You’re my guardian angel. A really dumb guardian angel! Boi, that math homework was piss-easy! [hr] To: zoological.zoe4@gmail.com Hahahahahaha no. I’ll get smarter, you’ll see. Night-night, my gold package. P.S. That was some mighty fine IYKWIM. [hr] To: zany.zacharias@gmail.com Oh, IKWYM all right. ;) Love you, Zach. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX