“Pinkie Pie? I dunno.”

“How do ya not know who Pinkie Pie is? Down the road, west a ways, with the big windmill. The [i]pink[/i] one.”

“Oh yeeeeah. Makes sense.”

“Oh yeah duh, peabrain.”

“Blockhead.”

“Anyway, yeah, we don’t really know her. She come over to our house once or twice. Played with us in the field and stuff.”

“She don’t go to our school. I hear she got kicked out.”

“She’s home-schooled, numbskull. Her parents keep her locked up in their silo out back. I seen it. They only let her out to farm rocks.”

“Really? No wonder she’s all—hey, ow!”

“Be nice, knucklehead. Don’t you stick yer tongue out at me. Ma says yer face’ll stay that way. You’ll be an ugly little shrimp.”

“Yer uglier.”

“Shuddup, peabrain. Anyway, why d’ya ask? Did something happen?”

[hr]

“We apologize for thy trouble.”

“Agreed. However, thou are most welcome here, as is thy husband if he should choose to pass by this way.”

“Thou are likely familiar with Pinkie Pie’s tendencies. She is overflowing with spirit and joy, but we believe it to be a blessing, and for that we cannot thank the stars enough.”

“However, she is…”

“She hath a strong… dependence on other ponies. She hath dramatic changes in disposition from time to time.”

“And this is normal, of course, as thou may see if thou and thy husband hath children. Hath thee any children? Ah. Then if thou ever do, then thou shall understand.”

“This is merely temporary, is what we intend to say, and ultimately trivial. Children can be this way.”

“We do thank thee for electing to care and house our daughter for the time being. We have no doubt she would enjoy residing in a confectionery store. However, this cannot continue indefinitely. She must return home.”

“Surely, thou must understand. Thou will, too, when thou hast children of thine own.”

[hr]

“Who cares. She ran away. Didn’t like us. Never said it, never had to. She abandoned her twin sister. Her own twin sister!”

“Mm-hmm.”

“She abandoned us! Never liked her, anyway. She never liked us, we never liked her. She told dumb jokes. She laughed at us. Always laughing, all the time! Never liked her.”

“…”

“Sorry, ma’am, I’m sorry for yelling at you, but I don’t want to talk about her. Neither does Marble. C’mon, Marble.”

“Mm-hmm…”

[hr] 

“Yes, I know why she ran away. At least, I think so.

“There’s nopony like Pinkie Pie. Anyone who’s met her knows that. But that’s especially true around here. There’s not a lot of fillies here. They think she’s weird. They think I’m weird, too. The reason she wanted to run away and I don’t is that Pinkie cares.

“She just wants friends. That’s really it. Ponies to have fun with. Ponies to cheer up. Ponies to cheer her up when she’s down. I never needed that. I had Boulder.

“I understand why she left. It was still hard. I cried. I don’t cry, usually.”

…

“But as long as Pinkie is happy, then that’s all that matters. Is she happy? Good. Yes, that means she’s very happy. It’s easy to tell when she’s not.

“I think she should stay where she is, as long as you don’t mind. If not in Ponyville, then somewhere else. My parents will be difficult to convince. I’ll talk to them. It might take some time.

“You seem eager to take her in. It’s hard for me to tell. But if she’s still with you for this long, she must like you, and she must be happy there. I'm glad she found you.

“One more thing. If Pinkie stays with you, may I please have your address? I’d like to write to her. Thank you.”