Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship, found the target of her ire lounging on a bright, green beach chair on the shore of the frozen lake, wearing an egregious mix of mountain climbing gear and deep scuba diving gear, rubbing daiquiris over his clothes and drinking suntan lotion.

"Discord," she said, keeping her voice level. "What have you done?"

The draqonequus smiled at her, lowering the dark shades he wore over his sea goggles. "Twilight Sparkle!" he announced loudly, with enthusiasm so warm it almost made Twilight think it was genuine. "Come sit, have a drink, put your hooves on the ice, and freeze your little flank off!" he said, snapping his fingers and making another chair appear.

"I'll pass. Discord, I'll ask you again. What have you done?"

"Moi? Are you accusing me of doing something? But I'm innocent! All I've been doing is sitting here, enjoying the weather... snapping my fingers at a little tune I have in my head," he said, smirking.

Twilight cast a quick heat spell to melt off the two snowballs that were floating behind her. "Princess Celestia and Princess Luna have been trying to control the sun and the moon all day," she said, a little frustration seeping into her tone despite her best efforts. "And they haven't been able to move them at all. I know that you are behind this. What have you done?"

Discord patted the faithful pet condor he had since he was a little sprite of chaos, at least for the last five seconds. "Maybe they've gotten too fat?"

Twilight sidestepped to avoid the army of mice that were gathering at the condor's feet, each pleading to be eaten first by the mighty bird deity. "This is not the time for another of your cracks at Princess Celestia's-"

"Once more, you misunderstand me Twilight Sparkle," Discord said with a theatrical weariness. "I did not mean our exquisite princesses or that blob of fat Celestia carries on her behind. I simply meant the sun and the moon."

"What. Did you. Do?"

"Well," Discord said, playing with two yo-yo, shaped like each of the princesses cutie marks. "Here I was, being an obedient spirit of chaos, when I came to a realization."

"Which was?"

"I'm not much of a spirit of chaos anymore, am I?" Discord asked, scratching his tooth. "I've been tamed," he said, pulling at his chain collar. "I even got a handler in Fluttershy. When the spirit of chaos is waiting for orders to let loose... As I said, not much of a spirit of chaos anymore."

"So..." Twilight prodded.

"I've been robbed," Discord shouted, standing in front of a fake, hand drawn bank. "Robbed of purpose and robbed of my life's pursuit. I've been..." He shivered violently. "...Put to order."

"What does that have to do with what you did-"

"See, I knew you would say that," Discord said, wearing a ridiculous hat she had seen Pinkie wear when playing detective. "It's all about fairness, isn't it? Since we all like order so much that the spirit of chaos must carry a beeper and a schedule with him," he said, showing off the items he just listed, "I thought; Well, let's just go all the way then, why don't we?"

Twilight slowly began to understand what the Draqonequus was getting into. "You... You didn't-"

"But I did," he said, dancing around a tall light-post. "I totally did. Here it is, the absolute system of order for you all. A sun, thousands of time larger than Equestria, and million of miles away. A sun that cannot be controlled, cannot be tamed. A moon, half the size of Equestria, almost the exact proportions of dear Luna's size to Celestia's buttocks if I might add. Billions of tons of rock, beyond the capabilities of any alicorn to move or control, and a lunar cycle you can set your watch by."

"Discord..." Twilight mouthed, still unable to accept what Discord had done. "You- you-"

Discord laid back on his chair, putting his sunglasses back on. "Oh, relax Twilight Sparkle. It wasn't such a big deal. It was a pleasure to repay the kindness that our loving Princess Celestia and her sister did to me. No more spirit of chaos messing everypony's day?" he asked.

He lowered his glasses, winking at the hyperventilating Twilight. "No more days controlled by alicorns. You can thank me later. Maybe with a party. Let me know when though. I will need to check my schedule first."