Lyra Heartstrings sat on a bench, staring into the clear blue sky. There were foals laughing in the park behind her, happy ponies trotting along in front of her, and a generally peaceful feeling seemed to seep from the very air. She took out a pocket watch, glancing at it as she pulled up a bag of popcorn with her other hoof. It was a few seconds to noon.

"Lyra? What are you doing?"

Lyra looked up to see Bon-Bon walking towards her with a confused expression.

"Oh, just waiting." Lyra replied. "Popcorn?"

Bon-Bon gently pushed the offered bag back. "What exactly are you waiting for?"

Lyra shrugged. "Dunno. Something big, loud, and possibly explode-y."

Bon-Bon looked around incredulously. "Here? In the park?"

Lyra pulled Bon-Bon into a side hug, gesturing grandly with her bag of popcorn. "Bon-Bon, where are we?"

"Ponyville?" Bon-Bon answered bemusedly.

"And how would you describe this day?"

"Uh, perfect for a nice stroll or a picnic."

Lyra nodded quickly. "Exactly! It's a perfect, peaceful, quiet, unassuming Ponyville day, and we're approaching high noon! It's almost impossible for there [i]not[/i] to be a world-ending threat about to strike!"

Bon-Bon blinked a few times, processing this. "If that's what you think, why haven't you gotten Princess Twilight?"

Lyra scrunched up her muzzle in disapproval. "And sacrifice my seat? No way."

Any remark Bon-Bon would have made was cut off by the sudden ringing of the clock tower. The two mares counted out the twelve tolls, Lyra looking more and more excited with every one. Finally, they stopped, ringing out into silence.

Lyra and Bon-Bon waited for one second. Then another second. Then another second...

"I knew this was nonsense." Bon-Bon sighed in annoyance. "Come on, Lyra, nothing's gonna hap-"

A screaming portal tore open the sky with an unearthly ripping sound, unnatural storm clouds violently swirling out to cover the whole sky. A dark comet blitzed down through the portal, shattering a building and causing ponies to flee in random directions with cries of despair.

Bon-Bon stared straight forward blankly. Lyra stared right at the side of Bon-Bon's head, the shit-eatingest of grins on her face. Bon-Bon's left eye twitched dangerously. Lyra either didn't notice or didn't care.

"Soooooooooooooooooooo what was that you were saying?" Lyra asked, her voice saturated with smugness.

A dark figure pulled itself out of the crater, spreading bat-like wings and baring glistening fangs. Its red mane cascaded down its neck like flowing blood, accentuating the figure's slitted red eyes.

[i][b]"Hear me now, citizens of Ponyville!"[/i][/b] The figure roared in a deafening voice. [i][b]"I am DarkStorm, the very spirit of death, born of the Nightmare to exact vengeance on this world! Your powers of Harmony will do nothing against me! I will cover this land in shadow and ash, and there's nothing that can stop me!"[/i][/b]

DarkStorm looked around, and his eyes locked onto two ponies sitting on a bench. He saw the green one's eyes go wide as the pink one stood up from the bench, and he grinned evilly.

[i][b]"Yes, come, accept your fate!"[/i][/b] He cackled. [i][b]"Quake in the face of certain[/b] hrk"[/i]

Bon-Bon slapped DarkStorm across the face with Lyra's entire body. DarkStorm was flung backwards from the hit, leaving him reeling in the middle of the crater he'd made. His face contorted with rage, and he lept back to his hooves with a roar.

Bon-Bon stone-facedly crushed his head with a wooden support beam. A plume of dust exploded upwards from the impact, obscuring the crater from the view of a thoroughly disheveled Lyra lying nearby. Lyra rubbed her ribs, groaning.

"I have a face-shaped bruise on my chest, don't I?" Lyra asked nopony in particular. Upon receiving no response, she just nodded to herself. "Of course I do." She pushed herself into a sitting position as the dust settled, revealing two figures in the center of the crater.

Bon-Bon leaned against the beam, glaring down at the twitching black body beneath it. The body melted into a black vapor, swirling upwards towards the portal. At the last moment, two glaring red eyes formed that stared down at Bon-Bon.

[i]"This isn't over."[/i] A voice growled from all around her. She simply returned the glare with an unimpressed stare. The black vapor vanished into the portal, the sky clearing rapidly with its absence. Bon-Bon continued to stare into the sky, lost in thought as she grumbled to herself. She almost jumped when Lyra rested a hoof across her shoulders.

"Bon-Bon." Lyra said, her tone flat. "You saw an otherworldly abomination break a house in front of you, and your first reaction was to use my body as a bludgeon and beat the shit out of it."

Bon-Bon winced, but stood her ground against Lyra's blank look. "In all fairness, you were completely asking to get slapped, I just got a bit creative with it."

Lyra took a deep breath, extending a hoof in emphasis. [i]"That was awesome."[/i]

Bon-Bon's​ entire train of thought spectacularly derailed. She stared dumbly back at Lyra for a full second before she could formulate a reply.

"What."

"I've never been used as a makeshift bat before, that was so cool!" Lyra grinned wildly. "And then you just [i]wham[/i] crushed him with a pole! How did you even lift that? That was so awesome, it's like you're a superhero!"

Bon-Bon rubbed her temples, sighing deeply. "Lyra?"

"Oh oh, we should make you a superhero name! You could be like the next Mare-Do-Well!"

"Lyra." Bon-Bon droned.

"I'm totally gonna be your sidekick by the way. I mean you gotta have a sidekick, that's like a rule of being a superhero probably." Lyra stomped a hoof in realization, her eyes glimmering with excitement. "Oh, I just thought of the perfect name for you! How about [i]The Steely Taffy!"[/i]

Bon-Bon just facehooved. Lyra tapped her chin in thought, nodding to herself. "It's a work in progress, we'll figure that out later. Hey, we should get Rarity to design us superhero outfits!"

"I don't actually have a say in this, do I?" Bon-Bon asked blandly.

"What about a catchy tagline that we can yell as we charge into battle? Like, uh, never fear, the, uhhh. Wait maybe I should finish making the names first."

Bon-Bon stared blankly at Lyra, then shook her head. "I'm gonna head home before I get roped into cleaning this mess up." She said, turning and walking down the semi-exploded street.

"Okay, the Steely Taffy doesn't work, how about, uh, the Tart of Steel! No that's worse. Steel Meal? Pastry Steel?" Lyra racked her brain. "This is gonna bother me now, I swear I had a perfect superhero name thought up for you just in case. What was it..."

[hr]

At 3 am, Lyra sat up in bed with a jolt. "DOUGHNUT STEEL!" She bellowed. Bon-Bon fell out of the bed with a shriek of surprise that morphed quickly into anger.

"Lyra, [i]shut up!"[/i]

[hr]

Lyra and Bon-Bon walked through the market a few weeks later, examining the vegetable stalls. Bon-Bon hummed to herself as she went along, checking off produce from her shopping list. She noticed Lyra had stopped in the middle of the road, and turned around with a questioning expression.

"Lyra? You alright?"

Lyra was looking up over the rooftops, towards the center of town. When she looked back down to Bon-Bon, her eyes had an excited glint to them.

"Hey Bon-Bon, how would you describe today?" Lyra asked smoothly.

Bon-Bon looked around. "Well, it's not too crowded despite the good weather, so I'd say it's a nice day to get my shopping done."

Lyra nodded. "Yeah, it's a perfect, peaceful, quiet, unassuming Ponyville day, isn't it?"

Bon-Bon's​ face fell, and she suddenly looked incredibly tired. "Lyra, come on. I'm not going to be a superhero, and nothing's going to happen. We've talked about this."

Lyra pouted. "Please? It could be so cool!"

Bon-Bon shook her head. "Look, you know about my... Side job."

"You mean the secret agent thing?" Lyra asked.

Bon-Bon shot Lyra a glare. "You have no idea what subtlety is, do you?"

"What does that have to do with you being a-"

Bon-Bon clapped a hoof over Lyra's mouth. "My [i]side job[/i ] is already to protect ponies and stop criminals to the best of my ability. I'm not a superhero though, I'm... a public service agent. End of story."

Lyra frowned. "But superhero sounds so much cooler." She unsuccessfully attempted to say through the hoof on her mouth. 

"I'm going to assume that was you agreeing to drop it. Now help me find Carrot Top's stall." Bon-Bon said, finally removing her hoof.

Both ponies had only taken a few steps down the road when the clock tower tolled. Twelve long rings dissipated into the chatter of the market. Bon-Bon found herself staring up at the clock tower warily, and in the corner of her eye saw Lyra doing the same thing. Nothing happened. Satisfied, Bon-Bon resumed her walk.

Tendrils of black magic tore their way out of the ground, ripping stone like it was paper. Thick black smoke boiled out from the tendrils and spread across the ground. Ponies fled in every direction as a dark figure formed in the center of the tendrils, evil laughter echoing from all around.

"I swear to the gods, if you're giving me that stupid grin I'm going to throw you clear into the next county." Bon-Bon growled. Next to her she saw Lyra lean back out of Bon-Bon's space, muttering disappointedly. 

[i][b]"Citizens of Ponyville!"[/i][/b] DarkStorm yelled, his booming voice echoing off the buildings. [i][b]"I have returned to exact my vengeance upon those who kept me from exacting my vengeance upon this town!"[/i][/b]

"Oh jeeze." Bon-Bon said quietly, reaching out for Lyra. "Come on, let's-"

Lyra wasn't there. In fact, Bon-Bon couldn't see Lyra anywhere through the ever-thickening dark smoke. Bon-Bon groaned, and at that moment DarkStorm noticed her.

[i][b]"Aha! You cannot hide from me, foolish pony!"[/i][/b] He cackled.

"I wasn't hiding." Bon-Bon replied blithely. "I was standing right here. In the middle of the square. Not moving."

[i][b]"You've already accepted your fate then?"[/i][/b] DarkStorm grinned evilly. [i][b]"Good, good. Now then, tell me your name, worthless pony, so that I may curse it for all eternity!"[/i][/b]

"That sounds incredibly inviting, but I'll have to pass." Bon-Bon deadpanned. DarkStorm growled, the dark tendrils rearing up and facing Bon-Bon.

[i][b]"Then I'll pry that information from your tortured-"[/i][/b]

[i]"Her name is Doughnut Steel, defender of Ponyville!"[/i] Lyra yelled from a nearby rooftop. Bon-Bon's​ head whipped around towards the voice, and her jaw dropped.

Lyra was standing on a roof, a mask over her face and a cape billowing out behind her. She grinned widely, pointing to herself. "And I am her sidekick, Heart Harp! Together, we fight for justice!"

There was a long, awkward silence as Lyra and DarkStorm stared each-other down, Bon-Bon facehoofing between them. Lyra's smile faded, and she kicked at the roof nervously.

"Uh, shoot, was I too early?"

"Actually you were a good ten seconds too late." Bon-Bon said, her voice heavy with resigned frustration. "Also you look like an idiot."

"Well, uh, justice makes its own time. Justice also doesn't care about the opinions of jealous ponies." Lyra huffed.

"Jealous? Oh, you... We'll talk about this later." Bon-Bon grumbled. "Though I'm not sure if there's a point to doing so since you're obviously not going to listen."

Before Lyra could respond, DarkStorm cleared his throat in annoyance.

[i][b]"Excuse me, world-ending threat here?"[/i][/b] He pointed a tendril at himself. [i][b]"Maybe save the pointless bickering until after I've killed you."[/i][/b]

"That's dumb." Bon-Bon droned. "You're dumb."

[i][b]"Right then."[/i][/b] DarkStorm grumbled, and five tendrils all slammed into the ground on top of Bon-Bon. He turned his glare up to Lyra. [i][b]"And now to send you straight to Tartarus as well, foolish-"[/i][/b]

Bon-Bon slammed a metal light pole onto DarkStorm's head so hard it made her teeth chatter. DarkStorm crumpled like wet paper trying to hold up a brick, the tendrils vanishing in poofs of smoke. Bon-Bon gave the unconscious pony a somewhat disappointed look.

"World-ending threat, huh?" She scoffed. 

"Yeah!" Lyra chimed in from the roof. "You really [i]skulled[/i] that guy!"

Bon-Bon stood in silence. Lyra's smile didn't waver.

"Get it? It's a pun on schooled." Lyra helpfully explained. "It's funny because you hit him in the head."

"Thank you, Lyra." Bon-Bon said snarkily. "Both the pun and the subsequent explanation were absolutely essential in defeating this threat. I'm glad you were so helpful today."

Lyra blew off a hoof, shining it on her chest fur. "All in a day's work."

DarkStorm's body melted into dark mist once again, seeping down into the earth. [i]"I'll get you next time, Doughnut Steel."[/i] He growled, his voice echoing ominously as he faded away. Bon-Bon stared at the spot where he'd been, and a long sigh escaped her lips.

"This is going to be a regular thing, isn't it?" She resignedly asked nopony in particular. Upon receiving no response, she nodded to herself. "Of course it is."

A mask and cape flopped down onto the ground next to Bon-Bon. She glanced at them, then looked up to see Lyra standing beside her and grinning, her superhero gear still on. Bon-Bon looked from the clothes to Lyra and then back to the clothes.

"If you agree to never make a terrible pun ever again, I'll wear the stupid gear." Bon-Bon eventually said. Lyra grinned giddily, shaking Bon-Bon's hoof.

"You'll see, this is gonna be the start of something awesome! Doughnut Steel and Heart Harp, superheroes extrodinare!"

Bon-Bon rolled her eyes. "I suppose that sounds catchier than public service agent."

Lyra patted her shoulder. "I'm glad you agree."

Both ponies stared at the ruined road for a few moments.

"Wanna go get some ice cream?" Lyra offered. Bon-Bon sighed, but she was smiling slightly.

"Sure, why not."

[hr]

Fluttershy was helping to organize an animal road repair team when Discord popped into existence beside her.

"Fluttershy, there you are! I went to your house for tea time, but you weren't there." Discord pouted. "I thought you'd forgotten about me."

"I'm sorry, Discord, but tea time will have to wait." Fluttershy gently explained, shaking her head. "If you don't want to have to wait, maybe you shouldn't destroy so many things next time you prank the town with that fake evil pony of yours."

Discord looked confused. "Fake evil pony? Prank? What are you going on about?" His eyes narrowed. "Somepony's playing pranks and didn't invite me?" 

Fluttershy paused. "Wait. That cheesy evil pony... Wasn't you?"

Discord shook his head. "I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about, so no, it wasn't."

Fluttershy stared at the ruined road for a moment. "Oh dear." She said quietly.