Far from the prying eyes of the Princesses and the public, the conspirators met.  They were ponies of power, wealth, and influence.  Even if each of their power and influence was of limited scope.  Together, they represented aspects of Equestrian business, society, and government.

Together, they planned how to save their positions, no, [i]all of Equestria[/i] from the threat that had befallen them.

If only they could agree on how to do so.

“I tell you, this is madness!  We’d be tarred and feathered for even thinking about it!”  

“We have no choice!  They’ve [i]left us[/i] no choice!  When it was just Celestia…”

“Yes, Celestia understood how things worked!  She never got involved herself!  She had minions for that!  These new ones though…”

“That doesn’t matter!  If we do this, we’ll be accused of [i]Tribalism![/i]  Public sentiment will turn against us on principle alone!”

“Ha!  Unlikely!  They’re hardly a tribe!  There’s but four of them!”

“Four of them [i]so far![/i]  If things continue at this rate…!”

“That’s exactly what we’re all [i]afraid of![/i]

The cacophony of voices was brought to a halt by the sound of a hoof slamming repeatedly onto the tabletop.  It continued to hammer on the ancient wood until silence, if not order was finally restored.

“Mares and Gentlecolts, please settle down. We are all here because we recognize the threat the current situation poses.  We are here to fix things, not to make them worse by attacking each other.”  Fancy Pants cleared his throat and met the eyes of each and every pony around the table.  “Now, let’s keep this neat and orderly.  We’ll start with Government.  Miss Mayor Mare?”

Mayor Mare sighed unhappily and began.  

“The government pension program wasn't designed to handle immortals.  Most ponies work for thirty or forty years, then retire.  They might collect their pension for another twenty or thirty years before passing on.”  Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she continued.

“By our calculations, if Twilight Sparkle continues on as Ponyville Librarian for another two hundred years, her annual pension will exceed the town budget.  Every year.  [i]Forever.[/i]”

Fancy Pants sighed.  “How about Industry?  Miss Craftsmare?”

The Silver coated mare with the crescent wrench cutie mark nodded. “As you all know, Craftsmare prides itself on its lifetime warranty on all tools.  Lifetime was never meant to mean [i]forever.[/i].”

“But surely a few sets of wrenches every decade or two won’t affect your bottom line…?”  Fancy pants asked.  Craftsmare just gave him a dark look.

“Princess Cadance has put in a bulk order for tools to help rebuild and modernize the Crystal Empire.  A bulk [i]personal[/i] order.” The mare growled.  Fancy grimaced and sighed.

“Art and culture?”  He asked, gesturing at Jet Set and Upper Crust. 

“It’s not so bad for us as of yet.  While Princess Luna has already purchased a ‘lifetime’ access pass to the Canterlot opera, Royal patronage actually [I]improves[/I] our stature and bottom line.”  Jet Set began.

“But that’s only true for the moment.”  Upper Crust grimaced.  “Princess Celestia and Luna are more than acceptable, of course. Princess Cadance is… tolerable I suppose. And there might be some hope for Princess Twilight.”  She rolled her eyes.  “But if more alicorns keep showing up, [i]some[/i] of them are certain to be from the… ugh… Lower classes.”  She grimaced, as if she had stepped in something disgusting. 

Fancy pants just sighed and rolled his eyes.  

“Well, I believe we are all in agreement that this situation is, in the long run, untenable.”  This statement was met with murmurs of agreement and nodding of heads.

“And I think we all recognize what we need to do, as distasteful as it may be.”  The murmurs were softer this time, interspersed with grumbling.  But nopony spoke out in disagreement. 

“Very well then. Let us take a vote.”

It was with a heavy heart that Fancy Pants tallied the Ayes.

[hr]

Princess Twilight Sparkle hummed happily she opened her new set of wrenches.  She couldn’t wait to use them to work on her Transmogrifier!  She was so excited, she almost missed the slip of paper that fell out of the box.  

“Oh, my warranty card!  Don’t want to lose this!”  She hummed to herself, snatching it up with her magic.  Ever a bibliophile, she couldn't resist reading the document as she moved to file it away.  Which was when she noticed a new and terrible addition to the document.

“Wha.. What the HAY???”


[center][size="22"]CRAFTSMARE LIFETIME WARRANTY[/size]*[/center] 
[center]*Princesses Not Included[/center]