"Miss Sparkle, a word with you."

"What do you need, ma'am?"

"My name is Proper Attire. I am a member of the Prestigiously Pretentious Panel of Pointless Parsimony, and it has come to our attention that you've recently acquired a pair of wings. This is far from out of the ordinary and perfectly within your legal bounds, so we thought nothing of it. However, when we spotted your name in the Manehatten Times being referred to as 'Princess' Twilight Sparkle, we felt obligated to correct them. After all, we at the PPPPP keep records of all members of the royal family, and we know for a fact that you have neither taken nor passed the Legitimate Limited Liability Leadership License exam."

"Wait, what?"

"I'm sorry, Miss Sparkle, but you must take this exam in order for your role as an Equestrian monarch to be legitimized. It was through our bureau that the other princesses were legitimized, and it would hardly be fitting for you to be made exempt of this test when those before you were subjected to it. Now, if you'll please fill out this application, and we can begin."

"You've got to be joking."

"Oh no, Miss Sparkle. We're quite serious."

"Why do I have to take this test?"

"I already told you, Miss Sparkle. It's because--"

"Because you and your companions run a bureau regarding such matters, I get that. What I don't get is what legitimizes you to decide who is and isn't royalty."

"Don't be naive, my dear. You don't think that the likes of Princess Platinum and her descendants would so easily entrust their rightful place as this great nation's leaders without at least having some say in who replaces them, yes?"

"So--"

"Just take the test, Miss Sparkle. Don't worry too much about it. Even Princess Flurry Heart took it."

"Wait, really?"

"Quite."

"Fine, I'll take it."

Testing happens.

"Well, Miss Sparkle, the results do look promising thus far. You say that you helped hatch and raise a baby dragon from the early age of six?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Quite fascinating. And you also claim to be one of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony themselves? Truly marvelous that a mare your age should achieve so much in so little time and with so few faculties."

"What did you just say?"

"Don't give me that look, Miss Sparkle. You were born a commoner, after all."

"Don't even--"

"Biting your tongue already? Good."

"..."

"Oh my. It seems that there's an issue with your test."

"And that is?"

"It says here that one of your best friends is an...earth pony."

"Two of them, actually."

"Yes, well, fraternizing with the lowborn is highly unorthodox and isn't permitted withing the terms and conditions of this agreement."

"Why not?"

"They're lowborn, Miss Sparkle. What did you expect?"

"I thought we were past this kind of thing."

"I don't write the laws, Miss Sparkle."

"Is there any way we can fix this?"

"Yes, quite easily in fact. All you have to do is simply stop being friends with the horrid mudponies and everything will be in order."

"Why you--"

"Now, now, Miss Sparkle. I've already been lenient with you. Wouldn't want to lose your title, now would you?"

"You can take the damn title. If the price of it is tribalism, I want no part in it."

"That is a shame, Miss Sparkle. I'd hoped you'd be more mature than this."

"Take that stupid title and shove it up where the sun doesn't shine, you heartless harpy."

"My, how vulgar! You must've picked that up from the mudponies."

"Get out! Now!"

"I will posthaste, Miss Sparkle. But first, I'll be needing those wings."

"Why you can't--"

"I can, Miss Sparkle. Just because you're an alicorn now doesn't mean you have the power to resist every unicorn in Canterlot. We can do this peacefully or we can do this by force, but either way your wings are property of the PPPPP and not yours to wear."

"Wait until Princess Celestia hears of this!"

"She already has, Miss Sparkle. Even she isn't above the law, and running to her won't do you any good. Now either we can do this peacefully, or I can come back with a dozen battlemages and rip those wings right out by the roots."

"..."

"Would you rather it be your horn?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"No."

"Good, then let's begin."

And Blueblood is crowned princess three months later.

The End.